


Down the Rabbit Hole

by EriiErii



Category: Fire Emblem Heroes, Fire Emblem Series
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Animal Transformation, Anxiety Attacks, Blood and Injury, Insecurity, Jealousy, M/M, Marking, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mpreg, Omega Verse, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Esteem Issues, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:14:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 52,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21725857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EriiErii/pseuds/EriiErii
Summary: During the Spring Festival Alfonse celebrated with Kiran, Loki lays out a curse onto Alfonse to turn him into what was effectively a taguel. Unfortunately, this was at a time their relationship was still so young and felt so tentative, and Alfonse becomes highly insecure if it could survive the sudden changes brought about from suddenly becoming an omega taguel, a concept they have next to no knowledge of what that was supposed to mean. In a moment of insecurity and weakness, Alfonse got intimate with Kiran, compounding the issues. Coupled with the anxieties he already had of dragging his heels to start his relationship with Kiran after being burned once before, or with his insecurities over how easily Kiran could slip to and from their worlds, did Loki set him up for heartbreak for the second time, with a body she changed against his will, and with a child they weren’t ready for?
Relationships: Alfonse/Summoner | Eclat | Kiran
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	1. Seed of Chaos

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! For post updates, questions, art and general random silliness in between, check me out at eriisaam.tumblr.com for more!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After having gone steady with Kiran, Alfonse tries to celebrate the Spring Festival with him. However, given what he knows of Alfonse, he might have his work cut out for him to keep the festive cheer.

So taguels are almost entirely extinct, hm? Well, surely, that problem is easy to fix, yes? 

At least, that’s the excuse Loki had. Her real reasons for toying with Alfonse may have been less profound, but at least this made her sound just a little more noble in her cause of otherwise just plain wanting to screw with him.

In all honesty, she didn’t really give much thought or care for taguels, or any beast for that matter. She didn’t care if they ceased to be or suddenly exploded in numbers overnight, but Loki  _ did _ admit that the latter scenario would certainly be more exciting to see. 

Then again, as she saw Alfonse pass by, none the wiser that one of the Askran soldiers weren’t quite as they seemed right then, she knew his skinny form probably couldn’t handle  _ that _ much excitement packed in one fragile little human body. Besides, then Kiran would know for sure it was her, and his thoughts toward her would sour more if anything happened to this precious little prince of his.

Well, certainly can’t have  _ that _ , now could she? No, she could have her cake and eat it too if she held just a bit more restraint of what fun she could have with this boy.

  
  


She did harbor feelings for Kiran. Truly she did. Maybe it was a bit misleading on her part of how deep or shallow such affections were, and it probably didn't help it also fluctuated by the day, but there was  _ some _ care and charm to be had nonetheless.

So what better way to show her love than with a gift, right? And she knew just the gift for just the occasion.

  
  


She disguised herself as Kiran next. Not that she needed to do it anyways, given her form, but she took the extra care to mimic the way the summoner would occasionally tug at his hood just to obscure himself a little more. She did admit feeling rather jealous how easily that prince had it to see what went on under the hood (or even under the rest of the whole coat), but there was bound to be a better time and place for that. For now, she had a far more worthwhile goal in mind than seeing the summoner bare all.

As expected, neither Alfonse nor the actual Kiran arrived in the room yet. However, there was clear evidence Sharena had, as their respective costumes for the Spring Festival were laid out for them to put on for the occasion. 

Ah, they're just making this far too easy…

She took either of the bunny ear headdresses. As large, adorable and detailed as the craftsmanship were, it would go figure that Sharena would not just get similar headdresses to match hers, but tried to get both Alfonse and Kiran to dress as similarly as possible to one another.

Well, in that case, there's no harm in sharing the wealth with both of them.

So she laid out her curse on both headpieces. It wouldn't curse the items for too long, but given the occasion, she didn't think she needed to expend more energy when it was practically a given they would both fall for it straight away anyways. With a new pair of taguels, surely that'll fix the shortage problem right up in no time, right? Or at least, there will be quite the cute bunny beasts of some sort of it. As if she had time to fuss over every little detail about accurate taguels… It was already more than generous of her to do this at all! Certainly, they could cut her some slack.

With the curse set, she carefully adjusted them back to how they were in Sharena's neat little pile before wandering off again. She wandered far enough as Kiran until she was out of the public eye, then took to the skies as a bird to retreat, for now.

* * *

Was this  _ really _ necessary…?

He took a peek just on the other side of the wall. His costume was one thing, but then he noticed how people like Catria, Kagero and Marisa walked by, not only sharing his sentiments he had of his own costume, but varied on how well they could hide their own discomforts and frustrations. Just past them, he noticed Chrom and both older Nohrian royals, and in eyeing how Chrom and Xander dressed, he drew comparisons that left him envious in some ways and guilty to complain in other ways.

Well… it wouldn't be  _ too _ bad if Kiran was doing it too, right? At least, that's what Alfonse tried to reassure himself.

  
  


"Alfoooonse! Where are yooou?"

And then there was Sharena. She was all dressed up and ready to party, as usual. Granted, he was also fully dressed in the costume she gave him, but far less enthusiastic to show himself. But if he hid too long, he knew she would gladly spend the whole festival and then some to come look for him. Given he was doing this for her and Kiran, doing that to her would ruin the point of dressing up in the first place.

"I'm here, Sharena…" Maybe his festive mood wasn't, but this would have to do, for now. He stepped out in the open where she could see him, allowing Sharena to look him over from boots to bunny ears while he drew comparisons between either costumes.

"Haha~ I  _ knew _ it would suit you~!" 

"Does it really…?"

"Aww c'mon! No frowning today, Alfonse! Is that any way to start the Spring season?!"

"I suppose not…" Maybe he still had his doubts, and he still felt like a fool, but he tried a little harder to smile. It was faint and still uncertain, but there was an attempt, at least. He kept his hand limp as Sharena tugged him along by the arm.

"Good! No more grumpy faces then from you, mister! Be more like Kiran and Lucina, will you? At least  _ they _ know how to have a good time!"

"You've seen Kiran?" Out of everyone, he still hadn't seen Lucina, or especially Kiran, despite seeing Chrom earlier. 

"Well, no, but I'm  _ sure _ he's thrilled of the festival! You saw how his eyes lit up when we asked. He'll be here, I'm sure of it!"

Already, Alfonse held a sense of dread, but tried his best to smile, weak as it may. Would he really? It was easy enough to  _ say _ he'd do this, but it remained to be seen if he'd follow through. And it was such a silly thing to promise, anyways. Nobody would fault him if the summoner didn't show up and missed the whole event, but...

He stopped his thoughts in its tracks. He had to give Kiran a better chance than that. It wasn't fair to him, Alfonse knew that, especially when Kiran tried so hard to juggle the responsibility of two different worlds as it were.

At first, he tried to be optimistic. Kiran would come soon. He promised, after all, and he had to give him a fair chance, so he bided his time.

But then a bit of time passed. Was it already an hour, or was he getting ahead of himself again? He tried to distract himself with the festivities, but Kiran’s absence still weighed on his mind.

Then more time passed. He was pretty sure  _ now _ it was over an hour. He could see more fellow bunnies come in, dressed up for the occasion and ready to celebrate, but while none of them were Lucina, even more glaringly, none of them were Kiran either. He tried to stay positive, but his skill in such was nowhere near as refined as his ever optimistic sister. His smiles grew fainter, he looked more distracted and lost in the way he glanced around, and the cracks were slowly starting to show of his insecurities for every slight shift of the bunny ears he fussed over, or the slight tug at his coat to cover how exposed he felt of his chest. He felt an odd warmth in his body he couldn’t tell was his growing irritation to be in such a costume, or his brewing anxieties when Kiran still wasn’t around.

A little more time passed, and by that point, his hope was starting to fade. Kiran was  _ still _ nowhere to be seen, and worse, he could see Bruno just off in the distance. He didn't resent him, of course, especially now that Embla no longer held his or Veronica's free wills captive anymore, but…

"Kiran… Where are you…?" 

He promised him. He remembered so long ago how he and Kiran saw versions of him and Sharena from another world dress much like they did now. He promised that, if he ever dressed like that other Alfonse for the festival, that Kiran would do it too. It was so they wouldn't feel as lonely in the embarrassment… or at least, for him anyways. He knew Sharena held much less shame or concern of it all. 

And yet, he saw Bruno dress up with little prompt, but no sign of Kiran.

Maybe it was such a little, ridiculous thing on the surface, but it wasn't entirely about Kiran dressing up and joining him. It was more that Kiran wasn't there.

  
  


He hated being so fickle and needy. He constantly worried that if he ever became too open and obvious of his feelings for too long, that Kiran's perception of him would've been exactly that: fickle, needy, bossy, clingy  _ weak _ … Even after all these years of victories, tragedies and memories, that fear never got any easier to dispel or ignore… But as ridiculous as it was (and he knew full and well he was being ridiculous), he still felt insecure whenever Kiran left them to go back to his world. 

It would've been easy, if frustrating, if Kiran came back, but simply didn't come to the festival with them. That would've been the best case scenario, unfortunately. But what if the last time he saw him was literally the last time he would ever see him again? What if he had second thoughts about this relationship after all? It would've been just his luck he would get Bruno back just as Kiran would abandon him…

Or… worse… What if something happened to him instead? What if he got hurt or fell ill? What if he died, and he wouldn't know any of it? 

His heart was beating just a little faster, and his body couldn't decide right then if he was heated or chilled. No, certainly not. Kiran was  _ fine. _ He had to be. He couldn't leave them like that, not after everything they've been through! 

But, the world around him became a blur, and the festival was little else but white noise to him right then. Kiran’s safety mattered far more than his pride, and suddenly, he was anxious of finding any sign he could his lover was safe. 

  
  


“Alfonse.”

He tensed. He vaguely heard Sharena, but despite her standing right next to him, he heard her as if she called him from afar. With the way she held him, she could feel the subtle tells he tried to outwardly hide from the way his body trembled every step he took, or the way his balance seemed unstable now. It didn’t go past his notice the grip to his giant novelty spoon was concerningly tight at its hilt. 

“Hey, Alfonse!”

“Wha…?” The second attempt had a slightly better result. At least he looked to Sharena this time. Or, well… in the general direction of her face…

“Look, Kiran’s here~”

  
  


He looked at Sharena with about the same disbelieving expression she remembered seeing back when he first saw fairies like Peony so long ago. He looked to where she pointed and, as if a fog over his mind cleared, he became far more alert in not just seeing Lucina rush ahead, but Kiran following from behind. Both of them clearly knew they were late, but his legs were already moving as he walked closer to Kiran’s path, as if in a trance.

“Heeeey! Better late than never~! What kept you?!”

“Sorry! Something came up, and Kiran happened to pass by to help me. My apologies for the delay!” And sure, Lucina knew the Askrans weren’t one to hold a grudge, especially over something like this, but Lucina still tried to make up for it.

But Alfonse’s focus wasn’t on her in the first place. He nodded absentmindedly to her apology, but while he was aware Sharena said something, and Lucina said something else, he didn’t focus on it and simply walked up closer to Kiran, who was hasty about readjusting his clothes as if he only just got dressed. He didn’t harbor ill will or feelings to Lucina being late, and her explanation was sound, but why was  _ Kiran _ late? 

“Ah, sorry. I guess I kept you both waiting for a while, huh?”

But… resenting him for being late was fickle. He knew that. With where his mind was before, he was relieved Kiran was here at all. It just took a moment for his mind to catch up to that conclusion.

  
  


More, Kiran actually  _ did _ wear his costume. He still tried to readjust himself for the last time, and Alfonse could guess that Kiran only just suited up a moment ago, and wasn’t simply uncomfortable. The two completely matched in their design, even if either suits had faint differences like how Kiran’s suit was greyer in tone and held violet accents in contrast to Alfonse’s blue tones. The other glaring difference Alfonse noticed was how Kiran didn’t wear the headdress that came with his costume. It was still that of a bunny’s, but it was the headpiece similar to Lucina’s, rather than his own, having been shorter and had the cutesy bunny face at its base over be simple, long ears like the Askrans. For whatever reason, he seemed to have replaced the headpiece Sharena gave to him for this one he clearly took from his accessory collection.

“Is everything alright, Kiran? What happened with the other headpiece?”

“Aha… I guess I really  _ was _ pretty late if you’re already so worried, Alf…” He could see the way Kiran looked so tired and stressed. He only just got back from his own world, and Alfonse could see the signs of how much he clearly tried his best to rush to meet them. Yet for as much as Alfonse tried desperately to hide where his thoughts took him or how his nerves got the better of him, Kiran knew him too well and saw through the mask. “Sorry, I might’ve misplaced it back in the room. I’m sure it’s safe, but I realized I forgot to wear it around the time Lucina and I were on the way here, so I had to make do. I hope you don’t mind…”

Compared to Alfonse’s earlier fears, the headdress was the least of his worries. More, for how cutesy and silly it was, it actually put Alfonse even more at ease for how casual Kiran was to fully embrace it without care or shame despite looking even more childish than the headpiece Alfonse had.

He smiled before he could help himself. 

  
  


“It’s… charming.” He didn’t mean to imply otherwise, and to his relief, Kiran realized it was less Alfonse tried to save face, and more like he was only just starting to ease again. But where the real reasons were things Alfonse found shameful of himself, Kiran toyed with the thought that the prince was just overwhelmed being out in public like this. “I’m glad you’re here.”

And he was sincere of it, too. More than anything, he was glad to have Kiran with him, no matter the occasion or manner of dress. But… He was still too unsettled again to really convey such as easily or readily as he wanted.

  
  


“Alf…” But it didn’t matter or change anything. Kiran was long since used to that. No matter how insecure Alfonse himself was, Kiran was patient, and he knew what to expect now. He demonstrated such in closing the distance between the two just a little more. “I’m sorry. I promise, my reason for being late was good this time.”

“Good…?” That’s...good. Yes. Certainly. Kiran knew what he was talking about, surely, so… why did Alfonse feel the opposite of it? 

In his doubts, Kiran chuckled and brushed his fingers against Alfonse’s cheek. Left to his own devices, Alfonse probably would’ve kicked himself for preemptively doubting him and being so suspicious, as always, so Kiran stopped such thoughts in his tracks before the prince could give himself any more reason to feel bad of it.

“Mmmhmm. But let’s talk about it later, ok? Consider it a reward if you can survive this festival with me.”

“Heh~ Come now, Kiran, when you put it that way, you make it sound so dreadful.” Not that he was one to talk, but right then, for once since Sharena dragged him here, Alfonse genuinely smiled and seemed far warmer of the festivities. 

“Haha~ Oh, yeah, sure. This coming from the prince who moaned and griped to an alternative version of himself last time.” Kiran didn’t buy the change of heart for even a second, but with a gentle peck to Alfonse’s cheek, he did at least humor his attempt all the same. 

And sure, he still wasn’t any more festive now than he was all those years ago when they were just friends, but while Sharena and Lucina gave them space, Sharena in particular took notice of the way her brother and the summoner interacted. As if she needed any more reason to root for the two and their newly-budding relationship, she felt assured that nudging Alfonse to finally take the plunge from being besties with Kiran to now going steady with him had done him some good. 

She watched just how quickly he turned so stiff, reserved and uncomfortable when she dragged him here, to openly smiling, happily laughing, and being so carefree of the (albeit subtle) ways he and Kiran fussed over each other and how affectionate they both were. It was the rare side to Alfonse that Sharena thought was lost after Bruno, as Zacharias, left them. They all knew and understood why, especially with the unfortunate context Bruno shared, then had to fight through to earn his freedom from, and they didn’t resent him for it, of course, but it didn’t make Alfonse’s scars any less real from it.

She was glad he could find that same joy again, like what she also found for herself. More than anything, she was glad Kiran brought out that part of her brother she thought was lost forever.

  
  


So she turned them loose, thinking Alfonse was definitely in good hands now. Maybe Kiran was being overly dramatic in the way he bowed and held out his hand, but where Kiran acted as if asking Alfonse to dance with him, Alfonse was more than happy to humor him in giving his hand to him and letting the summoner lead him on. They may not have  _ actually _ danced, but it was more than enough for both of them for Alfonse to move by Kiran’s side, hands clasped and fingers interwoven together as they moved almost in unison. He couldn’t exactly make a fan out of him over the Spring Festival, but the voices of his insecurities were far softer now, and just enough to ignore, especially as Kiran helped distract him. 

  
  


Well, at first.

  
  


Kiran was, without a doubt, safe. He was alive, and well, and with him. Having the summoner by his side was already more than enough to ease his worries, but for Kiran to let him take his hand and hold it however long he liked, it strengthened that sense of security he felt almost embarrassed at times of needing. Surely, he was too old by then to need his hand held. Although… it  _ did _ help him, and more, Kiran didn’t seem to mind it…

But when his insecurities couldn’t prey on his fears of losing Kiran, it went to attack their relationship instead. 

  
  


It unfortunately went completely under Kiran’s notice. The summoner kept Alfonse close, but he thought little else about how Alfonse stuck by his side and occasionally leaned against him, embracing him in such instances, but otherwise not suspecting anything off of it. Alfonse said nothing of it either, especially when he felt incredibly unfair for him to voice such thoughts in the first place.

For such a peaceful festival, it was only natural that it would draw in some couples who wanted something happier to celebrate and distract their minds with together, whether or not any of them dressed for the occasion. It wasn’t even just romantic partners, but even parents took this as an opportunity to unwind and bond with their children on peaceful, happier terms when their own worlds took such an opportunity away from them. Such was the case of why Lucina happily celebrated with her father, and why Chrom was so willing to humor her, but the two were far from the only examples. Alfonse definitely couldn’t complain, and in fact, he was happy for them that Askr could give them such moments in the first place, or even make the chance possible.

So he felt selfish, and even guilty, when he recognized he felt some sense of envy for every such example he saw. It weighed even more in his mind when a more critical side of him reminded him that he brought such on himself. After all, Kiran had restraint because of Alfonse’s cowardice and reservations, and he would no doubt have been far more bolder if Alfonse didn’t feel so averse to so much as to openly peck each other on the cheek in public. With how familiar and ‘normal’ such thoughts were for him, it went completely over his own head how maybe he wasn’t approaching this the best way that he could to routinely belittle and ridicule himself like this in the first place, or how it only served to worsen his thoughts the more he caught himself in such a spiral.

He saw the way Camilla completely adored Odin and cherished him. The way she seemed so bright and happy. He watched the way she adored Odin, not with flirtatious teasing, but with clear admiration and joy from the way she took in his every word no matter how rambly, or the pride she had to see him bolstered and energized no matter how revealing and loudly-colored their attire both were right then. 

He looked at how warm and full of hope Quan and Ethlyn looked in their eyes in the way they both watched Leif, just as their son met up beside Seliph among others after having just parted from their company. Both of them combined couldn’t hold a candle to Odin’s energy or enthusiasm, but they didn’t need to be. It was as clear as ever how much the two deeply cared for one another, and how loud and clear such love was even with how subtly Quan took Etlyn’s hand, kissed it, then kissed her with such gentle, slow, calmer affection.

Just past them, he could see how relaxed and happy Soren was when he was next to Ranulf and especially Ike. He kept his distance any other time, but so long as it was with these two, it was like he was a different person altogether. Were it anyone else, he wouldn’t have even bothered to show up, but with Ike and Ranulf, it looked almost as if he actually enjoyed himself, for once.

Even just to look up to the trees, he saw yet another couple. No matter how mismatched their personalities seemed, from how happy and cheerful Leanne was compared to how reserved, smug, and suspicious Naesala seemed in contrast, that difference hardly mattered, least of all to them. They didn’t even have to take a humanoid form to see how much Leanne was highly affectionate to preen the raven’s feathers as a heron, or how much Naesala fussed over and nuzzled up to her in return. 

There were more lovebirds than just them, but they were the ones where Alfonse’s thoughts started growing in strength. For every other lovebirds he saw, couples or groups otherwise, he was even more concerned of where he stood with Kiran. Shooting stray glances whenever he thought the summoner wasn’t looking, it was less he wondered why Kiran wouldn’t be as open to affection as they were, and more, he wondered if he himself was pushing him away. They were a definite couple now, after all. His reservations for wanting to be too affectionate too soon were unfounded by this point, right? It didn’t click to him that for Kiran not to push him, he understood Alfonse’s reasons and why he did and didn’t act more than Alfonse gave him credit for.

  
  


But right then, it felt different somehow. It was like a switch was flicked, and he knew it would be rather jarring how abrupt it was, but… he needed more. He wanted it more, even if he knew that the jump from only holding hands to smothering Kiran in kisses would’ve given an absurd amount of whiplash for the poor summoner to keep up with. He didn’t know how to explain the feeling or why it suddenly mattered  _ now, _ but… he wanted so much more now. 

And it hurt he couldn’t just ask. What held him back were his lingering fears of what would happen if he acted too harshly or moved so jarringly quick in the relationship. He took so long to drag his heels just to tell the summoner his feelings and get this far. Surely to just come out and say he wanted to hug him, kiss him, any of that, it would no doubt scare the summoner straight out of Askr.

  
  


“Hmhmhm~”

Alfonse blinked. He heard Kiran laugh, if very softly and gently. He was even more stunned when Kiran leaned up just enough to nuzzle cheek to cheek with him, then retreat back to their original distance as quickly as he did it. The prince continued blinking up to him in surprise and embarrassment, but he was left speechless and flushed in his face, yet not exactly against the act. 

But then he realized in flexing his fingers that he wasn’t holding Kiran’s hand anymore. He was holding  _ something _ , but it was bigger and longer than a hand. To his frustrations, it occurred to him that at some point, he hugged the summoner’s arm instead, like a teddy bear, in a way… and yet, he was confused. Why didn’t Kiran say anything? Why didn’t he pull away? He clearly knew, so if he was being annoying and clingy, then he should’ve…

…

Alfonse stopped his thoughts at last. With that light nuzzling, it clicked to him now that Kiran didn’t  _ want _ to pull away. He liked it. He embraced it. And he embraced him, in his own way, short of just grabbing him and hugging him. He was giving Alfonse the chance to do what he felt best, and when the summoner didn’t push him, and let the prince decide for himself what he was ready for, the prince leaned his head against Kiran’s arm with a sigh that came out louder than he wanted it to be, but no less content. Even as he immediately looked up to Kiran, already recoiling in embarrassment of his sigh, he was far less guarded when Kiran’s smile brightened more in return.

Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to ask him later. He made Kiran his tactician for a reason, but maybe it wasn’t just battle plans that Kiran could’ve been his soundboard of. Maybe it wouldn’t be so ridiculous or abrupt after all.

* * *

He bided his time. Rather than focus so heavily on the others to risk letting his envy and jealousy show, he distracted himself more to bolster himself up for once, rather than to keep beating himself up. He hated the idea that even in matters of the heart, he had to plan himself out like he was facing yet another battle, but at least he knew such a strategy worked, unconventional as it may in this case. He ran through different ideas of what to do, different ways to approach the matter, and weighed the risks and expected outcome with each with the scenarios he ran through his head. It became easier as the festival eased and the sun was already setting. 

As night was slowly approaching, Alfonse stuck closer to a point of Kiran taking the risk to drape an arm over his shoulder as the two headed to their private quarters back at their base fortress. Along the way, even when Kiran took this as down time to enjoy the remains of the sunset and the chill of the creeping night air, Alfonse worried yet again of how uncomfortable their silence to one another was. He worried he might’ve been too distracted in his own thoughts as to be too quiet. He second-guessed himself to a point he didn’t trust Kiran was happy just to take in their surroundings for what it was. He probably thought he was unhappy with him or ignoring and resenting him, right? It wasn’t outside the realm of possibility for the summoner to merely  _ look _ happy and force it just to save face, right?

  
  


“...Ah… so… Kiran…”

“Hm?” His tone was almost distracted, but it didn’t take much for him to immediately focus onto Alfonse. 

“I.. I-I’ve been studying the spring festival this time.”

“Heh, yeah?” He seemed interested, even in spite of Alfonse’s earlier uncertain tone. Alfonse cleared his throat to try to act much more confident in his voice this time.

“Yes. The symbolism of the celebration is quite fascinating, really. I couldn’t help but think maybe we could make it something more. It’s almost fitting, in a way.”

“Oh~? How so?” Good. He still captured Kiran’s attention. The summoner wasn’t shy about his intrigue of where Alfonse was going with this, which continued to bolster Alfonse that maybe the plan he settled for on how to siegway to what he wanted was the right plan after all.

“Above all, the Spring Festival was a celebration of life. It was to cherish the happier joys on life, the meaningful things we hold dear, and celebrate new life as it comes, too. Being with you, I realize there were things I took for granted when we first met. Even now, there are things I still fear I continue to take for granted, and the festival made me consider some things.”

“Alf… That’s hardly fair. You just needed more time, that’s all.” But he was sympathetic of letting Alfonse open up on his own, and he let him continue.

“Is it really, though? It’s just, seeing the themes to the festival, I couldn’t help but draw comparisons. It made me wonder if you resent me for making you wait on me like this.”

“You know I-”

“A-and it’s something I  _ do _ want to change, starting now. That is, if you’ll have me.” 

He looked so resolved in his point that Kiran fell silent. He wasn’t sure what Alfonse was getting at, but he saw how inspired the prince was that he hesitated to interrupt. Then again he  _ did _ find it funny, if cute in its own way, how Alfonse seemed awfully detailed for a point he so far wondered if Alfonse basically wanted to do more than just stand close and hold hands after all.

  
  


“Seeing the festival… How eggs represent life and birth, how their vibrant colors and styles painted on them represent the joys and love we pass to one another and others, even for such a quaint yet heartfelt gesture… How rabbits bear a large number of offspring, so too are they soft and of a gentle demeanor for a peaceful celebration.”

Unfortunately, an Alfonse waxing poetically about symbolism and history was not exactly an Alfonse who could read the room well. It made Kiran blink and take pause on what kind of point Alfonse was  _ actually _ trying to get after all, and if he heard him correctly. Nah, surely his mind was in the gutter again.

  
  


“...Erm…” With how utterly baffled Kiran was, Alfonse’s anxieties spiked. He grabbed Kiran’s shoulders in looking him seriously, if also with some of his insecurity showing plain and clear on his face, worried he was losing his point after all. “My point is… It got me thinking of the significance to why we dress up as we do. And I thought it would be rather appropriate to ask, given how fitting it was of the role we played in the festival earlier. I may have been such a fool to make you wait on me for so long, but I couldn’t possibly convey it in enough words how much I’m relieved you were to do so.”

Was he trying to propose to him then? Alfonse certainly had a unique way to do it, at least, but he had to give Alfonse major points for creativity.

“Alfonse, I-”

“If I have to be a bunny, so be it, as long as I can be yours.”

…

...What?

“I want your touch, Kiran. I want to be braver and learn to be less ashamed, especially when I know logically, there is nothing to be ashamed about it. I love you, just as much as you opened my eyes that you love me, despite my faults. If the symbolism holds true, I want to be your bunny. Someone who is soft, caring, gentle, someone who holds no shame or fear to be loved.”

Well, surely, he was definitely well within his right to want  _ some _ reservation, especially for whatever the hell Alfonse was getting at. Kiran’s face felt heated, and a part of him wondered if either Alfonse was drunk on something, or if he himself was, and was just so drunk as to forget it. He was pretty certain Alfonse proved himself far too much to be Alfonse and not Loki, at least, but…

  
  


“...I uh… you…”

“...You seem... “ He sighed. With how much Kiran was nearly at a loss for words, and how unreadable his reaction was, given his context, Alfonse feared the worst. In his desperations, he slowly grabbed Kiran’s hand and held it in both of his own, especially now that he no longer had to carry around that giant spoon on the way home.

“...Uuuh…”

“Was I too late? Please tell me I’m not too late to ask…”

“Oh uh… You’re not too late, but…”

“But…?”

He already regretted his own words. He saw how crestfallen Alfonse looked, and it didn’t help Kiran when he was blindly padding the wall until the door to their chambers popped open. It was awkward to lead Alfonse by his hands grasping his own as awkwardly as he had, but this was definitely something best kept behind their chamber’s doors, rather than out in the open.

The problem was, Alfonse wasn’t exactly blind to the way Kiran beckoned him in or tried to keep his answer private, and while he released Kiran’s hand to make the task easier, he deflated from his earlier enthusiasm, fearing the worst.

Kiran closed the door and took Alfonse’s hand to lead him to their bed. Alfonse followed, but his steps were almost mechanical now. It didn’t help he felt like his heart was caught in his throat, the sides of his head itched, or how the longer Kiran went without answering, the more restless he got, even just for the process of leading him to sit at the side of their bed.

  
  


“Kiran…?”

He sighed. It was even less reassuring than the earlier silence, especially with how frustrated he seemed. So he  _ was _ too late after all, wasn’t he…

  
  


“...Soooo if I get this right, what you’re saying earlier is that you’re feeling a certain way, right?”

“...Come again?”

“You know, that you’re in a mood. Was that what you were trying to say earlier?”

“..Huh?” Was Kiran trying to find a gentle way to turn him down? All this time, he thought Kiran was patient of his strict boundaries, but Alfonse wondered if maybe that was because Kiran’s boundaries were stricter than he thought after all. But then why did Kiran look so frustrated and out of his element?

“Please don’t make me spell it out…”

“I’d rather you do, please.”

With a flustered groan, Kiran did.

“So what you’re trying to ask earlier is that you wanna fuck?”

And Alfonse was far from prepared of it. He coughed in his throat in such a rough way that strained his voice for a moment.

  
  


_ “What?!” _

“...Was I too blunt? Ah, sorry…”

“That’s beside the point, how- and-! Where…?!”

“You’re the one going on about eggs of life this and bunnies fucking that and touching you…! I couldn’t tell if you were trying to propose marriage or sex or what!”

“I-I was trying to say that I want to touch you, Kiran…! In public!”

_ “That doesn’t help clarify any better, Alf…!” _

  
  


At least both of them realized where they went wrong, but it didn’t make it any less frustrating. As if Alfonse didn’t already hate himself enough for making it more complicated than it needed to be to want to open up his boundaries to be hugged and kissed in public now, but he was worried Kiran would think less of him for this blunder on its own.

The summoner was still one full of surprises even after all these years, and in this case, it left him surprised Kiran was red in the face, not quite in embarrassment, anger or resentment, but of amusement. It left him unsure of what to think when the summoner lost his composure and laughed. 

“Haha~! Alfonse, it’s ok to just be blunt and ask.” As much as Kiran still was all too used to his slang in his world, he reminded himself Alfonse, as unfortunate as his words may, meant something a little more innocent, and he relented to the point. “To think, I thought you… Pfffthahaha~! O-ok, ha- alright, so we can do more in public then. I mean definitely not screwing around, let alone in public, but I get it.”

Alfonse was at least glad his fears were unfounded. As much as Kiran took it in stride, he tried to smile, and tried to laugh with him, but his smile was faint, and his laugh was weak and easily trailed off. He knew Kiran was laughing in amusement of the misunderstanding, not at his proposal. He was even more certain of it when Kiran, once he calmed, took the time to gently reach over to rest his hand over his, and sat closer by his side while leaving Alfonse the chance to test the waters first. As always, Kiran left the ball in his court of what to do, and how far he wanted to take it.

But it was silly… Sure, it was a massive misunderstanding, all because of him, but… thinking about it, what Kiran thought he wanted wasn’t necessarily wrong. 

He slipped his hand out from under Kiran’s, but before the summoner could get the wrong idea, he not only held his hand over Kiran’s, but lifted it and rubbed his fingers along his palm. The more he thought about it, the more he realized maybe he wanted more. Even more than what Bruno gave him.

But was he brave enough to take it? Kiran offered, but was he ready to take him up to task? Especially for how the two fumbled to get that far?

“Alf…”

He got as far as to let Bruno kiss him and hold him. Then he broke his heart and left them. Even without Embla now, the damage was done, and Alfonse was too scared to open up again, so much so that he punished Kiran for it for far too long. It was nothing short of a miracle the summoner paid him any mind up to now. Was he  _ really _ ready to go beyond that?

“Alfonse.”

He looked up to Kiran, but his distraction was clear. Kiran still found it impressive how different Alfonse could be between the level-headed and task-oriented prince outside over the meek and timid lover he shared a room with here. But for how lost and uncertain Alfonse was, Kiran tried his best to navigate through his concerns when he only had part of an idea what was running through his head.

“Look, whatever you really meant, at least let me say it again that you’re not too late, ok? Do whatever you feel comfortable with no matter how much time you need.”

It was like the summoner could read his mind sometimes… Was that just a sign the two were so close nowadays? Whatever the case, his smile grew a little more, even if he still reminded himself of the weight of this decision. 

Kiran wasn’t Bruno. He couldn’t keep holding it against either of them, and he couldn’t let himself continue to hold back from that pain. Not if he wanted his relationship to survive. 

"...Is it ok to kiss you?"

"You don't need to ask every time, Alf. You've got the green light for whatever you're up for, tonight."

"Green light…? What do you mean?"

"I mean don't think about it, just do it."

  
  


This was getting ridiculous. They survived so much together. They faced against such ill odds and powerful enemies. How was  _ this _ the thing that petrified him? With Kiran dismantling whatever excuses he had left, he let Kiran's hand go, moved up closer to him, and hugged him.

He was already frustrated that he practically fell into him and crashed against Kiran's chest, but Kiran held him and welcomed him. Without him pushing him away, he nuzzled Kiran in return for what he did back at the festival, but this time Alfonse lingered far longer. His heart fluttered when Kiran matched up with him.

It was slow, but his walls were starting to crumble. He felt a rising panic that even Kiran could feel in the way he trembled next right before he kissed him with a timid, shy peck to the cheek. This was stupid.  _ He _ was stupid. Why did he let this scare him so much?! If his father could read his thoughts, he'd be even more ashamed with him than seeing him in this costume in the first place. 

But… Kiran didn't pull away. He kissed him again with the hastiness of his lingering panic, but despite his expectations for Kiran to shove him away and flee, he didn't.

...Maybe he'd be ok if he kissed him on the lips next? The prince almost seemed surprised when Kiran not only kissed him back, but matched his gentleness, something not even Bruno did. He tried it again, and then a few more, but each successive kiss lingered a little longer the more Kiran proved he was still there for him, and his nerves eased the more he proved to himself it'll be different this time.

His kisses grew longer and stronger. He barely noticed his hands trail up Kiran's chest, forgetting completely that both their costumes exposed so much of their upper breasts already as it were. His fingers brushed against Kiran's bare skin, and his intensifying kisses left him pressing up against Kiran in enough of a force and rhythm to repeatedly cup and grope his breasts every so often.

Before he could help himself, Kiran let out a moan he didn't think much of, up until it startled Alfonse enough to pull back with all the confidence of a startled kitten. It was then he realized where his hands were.

His face was flushed and heated that he could've sworn he outright felt it in his ears. Instinctively, he wanted to apologize, even when he knew deep down there was no reason to, and even when Kiran wasn't bothered so much as warmed up of the attention.

That apology never formed, and he shook his head in reminding himself more and more where Kiran's and Bruno's differences were.

So he moved closer and kissed him again. Maybe Kiran was ok if he got rougher. Maybe he'd be ok if he kissed other parts of his face. He felt even more assured when Kiran took his own initiative, not just to hold him close, but to brush the back of his scalp with his fingers, brushing his hair as he kissed him all over. He was vaguely aware how heated his breaths were, but what excited him more was how much Kiran's breaths picked up as well. It was easier to lose sense of what he was doing and where, so much so that he moved from Kiran's face and didn't realize it.

_ "Ah~!" _

By the time he snapped out of his daze, he froze on the spot when he heard Kiran's loud moan, and was suddenly aware that he could taste copper. It wasn't just his nerves, but he tasted something wet in his mouth. As he pulled away, his heart sank when it occurred to him what he did.

He was kissing from Kiran's face to his neck. At some point, he moved just at the curve between his neck and shoulder, and for reasons he couldn't describe, he was far too harsh in his kiss there as to practically bite him. He vaguely remembered Bruno did that to him before, especially just as their relationship reached its peak right before Embla tore it all apart. Maybe that's why he didn't think of it in the moment, but even Bruno never bit him so hard as to draw blood, let alone this much of it.

"Gods…! Kiran I-! S-stay still!"

"Alf-"

_ "Please!" _

What did he do?  _ What the hell did he do?! _ More importantly, why the hell did he think that was a good idea?! He was so fearful of getting hurt again, so it was fair of him to hurt Kiran instead?!  _ IDIOT! _

"I'm so sorry…! I-I dunno what came over me!" At least they had vulneraries and cloth nearby, but he panicked at causing this in the first place. He carefully treated Kiran, but while he could at least heal the wound itself, he couldn't easily wipe away the immense self-loathing he had to break Kiran's trust.

"Heh~ Relax, will you?"

Surely he misheard. Kiran? Telling him to relax? He knew damn well why he couldn't!

"So you have one hell of a thing for hickies I guess. So what?" While his skin was still moist from what remained of the vulnerary, despite Alfonse trying his best to dry his shoulder, the wound itself quickly healed, especially when it was relatively small and harmless compared to the numerous  _ other _ wounds he had vulnerary heal him from in the past. 

"So what?!  _ So what?! _ You trusted me, and I-"

"Alf,  _ listen. _ " 

He had enough. There were many times Kiran left it to Alfonse to know when to stop, and trust him otherwise of when to let loose and how. But even he knew there were times he needed to step in, and he wasn't about to scare Alfonse out of his life over something like this. He gently grabbed Alfonse, resting his hands against either of his cheeks and stopping him mid-point.

"It's fine. You were doing just fine."

"But Kiran, I-"

"You were inexperienced. We both kinda are. It's not something to be ashamed of."

"Kiran-mmph~"

No more. No more guilt or shame or self-loathing. He cut Alfonse off by kissing him on the lips before continuing his own point.

“It’s like when we first met. I didn’t have a clue about strategies or tactics, and less of leading on heroes. Yet you encouraged me when you could’ve shamed and ridiculed me.”

To Kiran’s relief, Alfonse was at a loss for words. So Kiran took advantage of it. He brushed Alfonse cheeks with his thumbs, smiling warmly to the timid prince.

“I’m not exactly an expert on this sort of thing, but this time, let me help.”

He clearly wanted to say something, but the words didn’t come out. So when he still couldn’t find the right words to say, Alfonse didn’t resist Kiran’s advances. 

His mind was hazy, worse so with Kiran crashing on his lips and holding him so close. He felt wonderful, but still lost, and in his confusion, he felt like he  _ had _ to say something, even when he had difficulty forming the right words. His breaths picked up when he was vaguely aware of Kiran kissing all over his face and neck like he did, but he could feel how careful and fully in control Kiran was compared to his earlier mishap. It was a familiar self-assurance Bruno had, too. He was even more aware of Kiran unclasping the collar around his neck and letting it drop clumsily against the bed when Kiran kissed at his Adam’s apple and worked his way around. The summoner’s hands caressed his breasts, initially groping him even over the surface of his coat, but then slipping under the fabric to massage his bare skin underneath. 

Come on! He had to say something! It was such a strong need to say anything that wasn’t just outright moaning. He felt his coat slip off and his needs grow stronger that just as he couldn’t take it anymore, he hugged Kiran close and blurted out what immediately came to mind just for the sake of saying it.

“Please don’t hurt me…!”

Instantly, Kiran stopped. All he did was hold Alfonse as he had him, but he no longer kissed him, and his hands initially froze in place before pulling away from his breasts and clothes completely. 

Crap. Of all the things, why did he say  _ that?! _

  
  


“Uuh, right. I’m trying not to…” Although while Alfonse was relieved for the reassurance, he already knew he could trust Kiran anyways. As the summoner stared in confusion, Alfonse shook his head.

No… Wait. He  _ did _ mean what he said. Now he remembered why it was so important. He reached over to cup Kiran’s cheeks, focusing on his face just as the summoner focused on his.

“Not like that… Please Kiran. Take me. I want to give you every part of my being as long as you promise you’ll never leave me. I don’t want to be hurt like that again, so… please…”

“I get it. I promise.” And he sealed it with a kiss to his lips that was much gentler and chaste than his earlier attention. It was simple, but it was all Alfonse needed before Alfonse freed Kiran from his collar and tried to urge him back into touching him again. He still wasn’t brave enough to try to kiss him at his neck, but Kiran already noticed how much Alfonse’s demeanor changed this time when he himself went for the neck instead. 

He really, truly was giving himself up to him, come what may of it. No more fighting, no more protests, the prince was entirely at his mercy now.

Recognizing how much of his trust was on the line, Kiran tried to think over how to approach this. 

Well, first order of business was to strip. He felt his clothes feel uncomfortably tight for a while now, and the problem was only getting worse, especially with how easily he could coax the prince into moaning. He’d probably feel better too if he was finally free from that costume. 

He leaned up against Alfonse. He wasn’t leaning so close as to push him on his back, and something at his backside left him uncomfortable to lean back too much, so he stayed sitting up as he vaguely felt Kiran’s hand brush against his pants and slip upward under his coat. As for what else he did, Kiran distracted him when he crashed his lips down against him and held his kisses longer now. Alfonse’s coat felt looser as the buttons were undone, and his moans grew louder to a point he nearly cried out when Kiran kissed along his neck, brushed his hands along his sides and worked up to massaging his breasts and rubbing his thumbs against his nipples.

Why was he so weak? Why was he melting so much over something so simple? But… was this necessarily a bad kind of weakness? For once, he  _ wanted _ to be toyed with and teased, like it was a trust-fall to him to let Kiran play with him while his confidence was still lacking.

But he needed attention too, right? Even if he knew nothing of how to properly return the favor like Kiran, he couldn’t just let Kiran do everything, could he? Kiran might’ve figured now that it was either Alfonse’s preference or his inexperience, but Alfonse still had his worries toy around in his mind, no matter how fogged it was in pleasure.

His coat was finally off him and he slipped his arms out of the sleeves. He vaguely felt something slip off his head, but didn’t pay much attention, especially when he felt the same weight on the side of his head from the rabbit ears as before, figuring the headdress still remained. He interrupted Kiran enough to back off just as Alfonse lunged to him and freed him from his own jacket, albeit he had more aggression and impatience to get him out of his coat compared to how fluid and certain Kiran’s own deed was. As much as Kiran still had his goal in mind to free Alfonse for his own comfort to work on his pants next, this time, both of them seemed to be in an equal pace on stripping each other down, almost like a race. Pants were gone, boots were gone, gloves were thrown halfway across the room, Alfonse vaguely saw Kiran drop his bunny headpiece, and all that stood between either of them and the now  _ very _ apparent bulges in their pants were their respective boxers. 

  
  


He couldn’t wait anymore. He needed Kiran. He wanted him so much. So much so that he lunged at Kiran and kissed him aggressively, attacking his mouth with his own lips with a newfound burst of energy. His impatience was so strong that Kiran was vaguely aware how Alfonse’s nails dug deep enough in his back to outright cut him there. Not that he minded it, but given how badly Alfonse reacted a moment ago to biting him hard enough on the neck to bleed, he didn’t draw attention to it and tried to distract him more. One of his hands gripped the prince along his back, albeit not digging his nails anywhere near as tightly or deep to cut him like how Alfonse shredded his back up by then. His other hand drifted lower, slipping just under the fabric of Alfonse’s boxers in making his way to grab the first thing he could near his ass.

What he grabbed was awfully fluffier than he expected.

With a gentle squeeze of whatever it was, he could hear Alfonse cry out, not of pain, but in a yelp that started strong and trailed off into something softer and weaker as he trembled in Kiran’s hold, melting to his touch. Whatever it was, it was incredibly silky and fluffy, and it was in just the right shape to hold comfortably in his palm and massage with his fingers. For how much Alfonse whined and shuddered so strongly to it, he continued to fondle whatever he grabbed as he worked his way to dragging Alfonse’s boxers down.

“K-Kiran… Don’t stop…!” He whined and melted in Kiran’s hold, cheeks flushed and breaths growing sharper in pleasure. Kiran continued to try to distract Alfonse with affectionate nuzzling as he rested his chin over the crook of Alfonse’s neck, and by chance, Alfonse kept his eyes closed in doing the same. His breaths were heated, and he felt suddenly like the room spun around them that he completely missed sight of the damage he did to his lover’s back. 

Meanwhile Kiran blinked in confusion when he could see how, just above Alfonse’s ass, the mound of silky fluff he grabbed and fondled was a definite rabbit tail, and more, it matched Alfonse’s hair from the shade of dark blue, to the trails of blonde that peaked at the tip of the fluff. He couldn’t really see anything obvious attached to the tail to tell how Alfonse wore it, or how he kept it on so secure as he had.

He shrugged. He wasn’t about to knock against Alfonse for his kinks, but for someone so apprehensive over the rest of the costume, he was amazed of that little, hidden attention to detail.

  
  


“D-don’t… don’t stop… I want more…” He felt embarrassed for how winded he already seemed, but he nuzzled Kiran much more aggressively in his pushiness and impatience. He didn’t know what Kiran was doing, but he wanted so much more, and who was Kiran to stop all this  _ now _ after coming this far?

“Let’s lay down. Don’t worry, I got you, ok?” Kiran’s voice was much more steady. He hadn’t quite lost his nerves nearly as easily as how the prince turned into a puddle of emotions in his arms, so he figured that if he could ease Alfonse to lay down, he could hide his back even easier from his notice. He gently lowered Alfonse along his back against the cushioned mattress and pillows that awaited him. The sheets were already a mess now as Alfonse unknowingly smeared them with traces of Kiran’s blood that lingered on his fingers, but Kiran knew what came next would’ve sullied the sheets anyways and didn’t focus on it. The whole time, Alfonse reached up to kiss him and meet his lips every so often, but Kiran eventually eased him on his back, and Alfonse thankfully still remained ignorant of his shredded back.

Huh… So the carpet matched the drapes.

  
  


“Kiran…?” In between breaths, Alfonse looked up to Kiran with a whole slew of emotions. Curiosity of what he’d do next, relief that the world was easier to process while rested on his back, and a sense of dread that meshed with his thrill of what more Kiran could’ve taught him (for better or worse). With a quick look-over of the prince, he still didn’t see any obvious way he somehow kept his tail as he had (maybe he clenched something  _ really _ tight in his asscheeks? To say Kiran was impressed of such a feat was an understatement...), but the only article of clothing Alfonse wore now was his bunny ears from his headdress.

...Although… He could’ve sworn a moment ago that Alfonse’s ears were white and tipped with gold before. Now he didn’t see anything overlapping the top of his scalp anymore, and the ears before him matched the same dark blue and gold-kissed tones as his hair and tail.

...Eh. Maybe he remembered it wrong.

  
  


As for what  _ Kiran _ learned from all this, Alfonse was certainly quite the sensitive one. He was gentle of how he gripped him, but as he held Alfonse’s shaft and brushed his thumb along the head of his cock - which was already erect before its freedom, and stayed up from Kiran’s hold - he could feel the drizzle of pre-cum in his fingertips and, yet again, felt the way Alfonse cried out and squirmed against the touch, just as he had when Kiran played with his tail.

Grasping the shaft and massaging it with his fingers, that reaction he got only grew stronger, and in Alfonse’s inexperience of it all, he felt even more vulnerable than Bruno could even come close to making him feel. Kiran played with him and milked his pleasure for all it was worth, holding the prince completely at his mercy under Kiran’s gentle yet secure grip over his cock. Then came the thrusts, and he couldn’t help but feel hot tears brew and fall along his cheeks. Why was he crying? Would Kiran think less of him to tear up? But he wasn’t sobbing or feeling like crying, so why the tears? Was this really normal?

He felt something go inside of him. He was so lost in his overwhelming feelings that he didn’t know what Kiran was putting inside of him. The summoner tested the waters to prepare him in a hole immediately under his balls. At least, he had a vague idea he had to prepare Alfonse somehow, right? Although Kiran felt like he was forgetting something… He tried to ease Alfonse of slipping a finger deep into his hole, hearing the way Alfonse made a whimper-like moan as he turned his upper body just enough to grip and dig his nails deep into any part he could snatch of the mattress.

Yet again, he had a surprising amount of strength in his hold as he dug his nails deep enough to shred the mattress outright in his desperation. Kiran tried not to think too deeply of how his back must’ve looked like by comparison.

Instead, he focused on sticking another finger and almost swirling his fingers around, feeling the walls, hearing Alfonse’s breaths and moans pick up, and getting way more evidence of how eager Alfonse was that he had to wipe away way more from his fingers along the sheets of their bed than he got just from Alfonse’s cock alone. 

He dropped his own boxers, exposing how erect his own cock was. He could see Alfonse try to focus on him, but he was slumped against the bed, confused as to why Kiran stopped all of a sudden, and completely oblivious of what to expect next.

Well… hopefully Alfonse could forgive him.

  
  


He guided his cock into Alfonse’s hole, feeling the way Alfonse, in his confusion, whined in a much different tone from earlier and alternated between either feebly clenching the sheets with his toes or outright kicking out of reflex. Thankfully, seeing Alfonse’s reaction made him think twice to just plow right into him all of a sudden, but in how frantic Alfonse became of feeling the head of Kiran’s cock inside him, Kiran took a moment to kiss Alfonse on the cheek and try to calm him.

“It’s ok, it’s ok.” He kept his voice low and soothing. Alfonse wanted so much to tell him how he felt, how weird it was, how his guard slipped, or ask him if it was supposed to be normal. None of the words came out past breathless moans and whines, as if he lost his ability to speak. Even with Kiran soothing him, he still couldn’t find the words to say, but he relaxed more with the assurance enough to realize his knee-jerk fearful reaction was unfounded. He could still feel the tip of Kiran’s cock inside of him, but out of concern, Kiran didn’t go deeper. At the same time, he didn’t pull out either, just to give him a moment to ease to the feeling. 

At first, he could see Alfonse’s worries in his eyes. He could see how just how out of his element he was and how overwhelmed he felt. More, he could see how much his anxieties were threatening to ruin his mood to remind him how much he might be failing Kiran for how bad he was to react out of his element. 

And yet… Kiran was still so patient with him. He was gentle when he absolutely needed him to be. He was supportive even in times their mood dragged to a point of threatening to drop. 

“L-love you…” He found his ability to speak again. He was drenched in sweat and tears, among other things, but for Kiran to support him every step of the way, even for something like this, he wanted to tell him more than anything what mattered to him most. “Love you… love…”

“I love you too.” Kiran kissed him at his Adam’s apple. It was just enough to show his love in return without cutting him off of what little words he could speak right then to go for his lips otherwise. 

Taking a breath, he slipped his cock deeper into Alfonse, and yet again, the prince dug his toes against the sheets, but he seemed less terrified this time now that he knew what was going on. It encouraged Kiran to be bolder in slipping his cock in and out of Alfonse’s hole, initially slow in the gesture just to get the prince used to it before slowly picking up in tempo. His cries felt much more similar again to the cries he let out when Kiran fondled his cock and tail. They trailed off longer and steadier the more Kiran acquainted him with a much more rhythmic tempo in his thrusts in and out. He wanted so much to claw at and kiss Kiran, but he was too far away to reach, and he was left writhing against the bed while gripping anything he could as he drowned in a haze of pleasure and vertigo. Once he was sure he wouldn’t frighten the poor prince, Kiran got a bit bolder in his experiments from grabbing and fondling Alfonse’s balls to focusing more on massaging his shaft like he was being pumped. Maybe he did a terrible job to terrify the prince early on, but he was incredible once the fear of the unknown was drowned out with his trust and love for Kiran.

  
“L-love you- love- Kir-aaah~! Y-you-!” They were the few words he could say, and he tried stubbornly to keep them as long as he could. He needed to tell Kiran. He needed to prove to him no matter how powerless the summoner rendered him otherwise. Even if the words tumbled out clumsily and with such fragile focus as to vaguely piece together parts of it half the time now, it was still important for him to say it anyways no matter how much his loud moans and cries drowned him. 

  
  


He vaguely felt something burning and tingling about his feet. Was he gripping the bed too tight? Maybe it was a cramp, but the pleasure overpowered the pain of it that he didn’t think of it for long. He didn’t even stop to think that the placement of his feet was straying a little further out, or how differently the sheets and mattress settled under his soles.

Kiran also didn’t focus on anywhere else but what he immediately touched and Alfonse’s face. He was busy trying to control himself of how he was plunging so deep into Alfonse, how tightly his walls were pulling against his cock, and the heavy, near-painful tension both of them felt as they were both nearing their breaking points. He took advantage of Alfonse easing up to his rising tension, but not enough to go so rough as to scare him again or hurt him more.

With a sharp breath and moan, Kiran felt himself burst deep inside of Alfonse, and he was vaguely aware between Alfonse’s cry and what evidence he felt all over them that Alfonse couldn’t hold it in anymore and released as well. He was winded, and Alfonse felt almost utterly destroyed by Kiran as to give up completely, slumping against the bed while feeling the exhaustion of a marathon run in a tempest trial.

Slumped on his side, he was too tired to think of the kind of mess he left all over Kiran and their bed. His breaths were harsh and ragged, and by then his throat ached and his voice cracked and nearly broke in all his yelling and crying earlier. He could feel Kiran pull away his cock, feeling his shaft slide along his walls and out of his hole, only to flush out evidence of Kiran’s pent up release leaking all over the outer rim of his hole and along the long-heavily-dirtied-and-abused sheets. At least, for something so experimental, Kiran was glad it didn’t seem to hurt or strain Alfonse quite to the degree he thought it would, but he was too burnt out to think for himself either of why that would be so.

Alfonse struggled to stay awake, but it wasn’t something he could fight off for long. He was vaguely aware of Kiran moving around before feeling a blanket overtake him. Maybe it wasn’t the wisest decision, but it was too late in the night to ask for help, and both of them were too tired to wash up or change the sheets anyways. Not only was Kiran trying to keep him warm, but he nestled up beside him, to which the prince weakly looked up to him and met him in a far gentler kiss. He used what little energy he had left to ease into and snuggle up in Kiran’s arms, feeling the erratic heartbeat Kiran had while showing his own heart was still racing. He reached over to Kiran’s face, cupping his cheek and ignoring the way his fingertips didn’t quite feel the same as before against Kiran’s skin. Maybe he was so tired that everything felt unusual to him right then. The summoner had a little more energy than him, but he used it to tuck Alfonse in against him, nuzzle him, and fuss over him, quietly reassuring him he’d protect him as they’d sleep for the night.

* * *

He groaned before opening his eyes. As quickly as he opened them, Alfonse immediately shut them as the light was far too harsh for him than his eyes felt ready for. He woke up irritable when he realized his entire body ached and felt heavily sore, but especially his nether regions. 

Well, at least things were much less pressing nowadays. He could afford more days where he could just sleep in for the whole day without regard to a schedule or an attack or whatever the hell. It was all he cared about anyways, right then, and he wanted to have just a bit more time to stay closer beside Kiran.

  
  


He reached over in patting the bed beside him, squinting his eyes in his annoyance when it took him more tries than he was pleased of to feel around and find Kiran, only to feel random parts of the bed instead. 

He opened his eyes and groaned, realizing he was still tucked in under the blanket, and still warmed by both his heat and Kiran’s, but he felt frustrated he had to outright look just to find his boyfriend.

Only for his heart to sink when he realized Kiran was completely gone.

He must’ve been here. He could still feel the warmth on the side of the bed Kiran slept on. He knew the moment they shared last night was definitely real. He immediately tried to calm his nerves and think rationally. Kiran was always fairly dutiful in his tasks, and more, he had business both in Askr and his own world. By itself, Kiran waking up and leaving his side before he woke up wasn’t suspicious or alarming, even if his anxieties wanted so much to toy with the idea otherwise.

He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes with the back of his hand, trying to sit up and readjust himself to get up likewise. As much as he was far from regretful of what happened that night, it did still leave quite a bit to clean up now.

He blinked and froze when he was much more aware that he rubbed his face against something soft and silky. It took a moment to process it, but as he looked to his hand, he felt a burst of panic when, instead of a human hand, it mutated in such a way that it was nearing its final stages of becoming a paw. 

He tried to shift up, but with his confusion and shock, he was even more aware how the rest of his body didn’t quite feel right. As he threw the covers off of him, he was suddenly aware how much his thighs fattened, his legs and feet lengthened, and they were completely covered in fur, crudely resembling the lower half of a rabbit. To add more insult to injury, his ears fell along his shoulder just enough to realize they were  _ his _ ears, rather than that of the headpiece he wore earlier, and his upper body felt unusually heated as it was the only part of him to remain human, but clearly not for long.

What happened? He wouldn’t even dream to blame Kiran for it, especially when neither of them noticed anything off all night, but he couldn’t think of anything obvious he did to let his guard down to get himself cursed. 

When he tried and failed to pick himself up to get out of bed, he fell back onto the mattress and scrambled backwards until his back pressed against the bedframe. At first, he briefly distracted himself with waking up with the realization he nearly transformed into a rabbit, and he didn’t have much time left before he’d completely lose his humanity. But with his guard down, and after taking the blanket to hastily bundle up and hide himself in, he caught Kiran’s scent now more than ever, and his anxieties were already primed to attack him at his weak points.

“Kiran…” His voice was weak at first, but he tried to pick up in strength, especially as his mind was starting to spiral into conclusions he feared most. “Kiran…?! Please, I-I need you! Where are you?!  _ Kiran! _ ”

He didn’t even know for sure if Kiran was nearby or not. Worse, it felt like time was passing a lot faster in his head than in reality. Trembling and tightening his hold on the blankets, he looked ahead in his vain hope to see Kiran, only to frighten himself even more when he saw evidence of not just their night of passion, but even more reason to cave in on himself.

He saw there were claw marks everywhere. They were even more obvious when they were highlighted with streaks of blood that followed the trails of the claw marks so perfectly as to leave no room for doubt. There were even more blood patches than there were claw marks, however, and what didn’t trace along the marks were visible as droplets or an outright puddle, the worst of which was just off to his side.

Right where Kiran would’ve slept.

  
  


He looked to his hands again. Both of his paws weren’t drenched his blood, but the claws were caked in dried blood otherwise. With how misshapen they still remain, and how he could feel them vaguely pulse in still trying to change, it made sense he must have torn up someone before the fur of his paws grew in.

Did he hurt Kiran?  _ Again _ …?

Was that why he left him? Is that why he’s not here…?

“Kiran…” Yet again, his voice started off weak. His throat was hoarse and still strained from last night, so it took him a bit to pick up again. But when he did, he called out for him so much that his own voice was drowned out and he didn’t think of it, especially as his anxieties had a far stronger voice in his head right then.

He used you. 

He took your heart and body and threw you aside. Just like Zacharias.

He doesn’t want you. Why would he want someone who’d hurt him?  _ Hypocrite. _

“N-no…  _ KIRAN!” _ With how he cried out and begged for his summoner, one would’ve thought he was begging for his life. He didn’t care who else heard, or what kind of commotion he was frightening his neighbors with. He just wanted Kiran. He  _ needed _ him! Where is he?!

He left you. He’ll never come back for you. Little trashy prince. You’re always such a burden, always pushing people away and ruining everything. And now what were you? Why would he ever come back to you when you aren’t even human anymore?

“C-come back… please… don’t leave me… Kiran…”

“Alfonse!”

He never really cared. He just wanted to play with you. If only you had someone who really loved you, dumb little prince.

“Alfonse, look at me!”

The thoughts were near-deafening. Caught in the throes of a panic attack and intrusive thoughts, he barely realized that not only was Kiran just in the next room over after all, but he frightened many highly concerned heroes who happened to be near as to make them scatter in search for help or bang on the door otherwise. No matter what Kiran shouted to try to reach him, Alfonse wouldn’t show his face or form willingly as he bundled himself and cowered under the blankets, shivering against the bed frame while calling and begging for Kiran. 

The only thing to snap him out of it was when Kiran, unable to get through to him with words, tried to reach him by force instead. He grabbed Alfonse’s cheek, forced him to turn and face him, and immediately kissed him when just looking his way wasn’t enough.

“Kiran… please… Kiran... “ His voice softened as his focus was slowly coming out of a fog. It came out like an echo, just like many of the beastly heroes Kiran knew. Initially, his pupils were heavily dilated in his panic, but Kiran recognized when his focus returned with how they slowly expanded again as his voice softened and his words were less certain. 

Kiran didn’t say anything. His look of concern was enough. He didn’t realize it, but in his rising panic, he rushed his transformation even further, right in front of the summoner. Even as Kiran watched as his lover’s face morphed from the familiar prince to a rabbit not unlike a taguel, he knew better than to call attention to it when he saw how stressed out and scared Alfonse was, how quick and heavy his breaths grew, and how long it took him to recognize Kiran. 

He was completely soaked. He still felt so wet and heated, and all he wore was a towel. Until Alfonse started panicking and screaming for him, Alfonse realized he was trying to wash himself off nearby after all. He looked scared, but he couldn’t tell if it was fear  _ of _ him, or fear  _ for _ him.

But before he could reignite his panic over whether or not Kiran recognized him, the summoner already proved himself when he simply forced Alfonse close to him and hugged the newly-turned taguel tight, letting him rest his head on his shoulder. He wouldn’t let go and didn’t relent on his comforts until Alfonse quieted down and settled with him.


	2. Love Hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He needed to know Kiran still loved him. Even in such a body, Alfonse needed to know more than anything that Kiran still wanted him no matter what Loki did to him. Unfortunately, maybe Alfonse’s dubious humanity isn’t the only problem Kiran is worried about so much as what kind of effect it has over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! For post updates, questions, art and general random silliness in between, check me out at eriisaam.tumblr.com for more!

Alfonse felt like he could curl up beside Kiran for hours. And, well, maybe he did. 

In his panicked state, he made all manner of distressed noises that varied between the words from his echoed voice, to whines and squeaks of panic and terror as he succumbed to his panic attacks. He hardly realized what Kiran did otherwise outside of his comforts, but he knew Kiran helped reached out to him in his pit of panic and confusion, and he pulled him out. Eventually, Kiran held a giant rabbit who calmed enough to hum soft and low coos not unlike a purr, still showing signs he was still trying to calm himself, but at least realizing now he wasn't alone or abandoned after all.

He wasn't, however, entirely distracted over what happened to him. He let out a distressed whine when Kiran separated from him for a moment, and it took a little coaxing on the summoner's part to get him on his paws and move him on the couch while Kiran cleared the bed, shouting things every so often that Alfonse’s mind was still too rattled to process.

It occurred to him afterwards that he was shouting over their door. He also realized Kiran tried his best to look as presentable as possible and hide the evidence to their late night passion from their sudden guests, but to his guilt, Kiran was rushing so much, not from the urgency of this, but to try not to abandon Alfonse too long and make him panic again. Kiran stripped the bed and wrapped the linens in a bundle, then rushed off and came back with pants and his coat he hastily wore, but didn’t feel like he had time to put on a proper shirt underneath it.

This wasn't fair… He was trying so much to pacify his nerves, but has it really come to a point Alfonse was pushing him to walk on eggshells like this? With guilt, the prince realized he should've handled this far better than he had. They survived through so much from the (self-titled) embodiment of the undying flame, to the embodiment of death itself, so he felt he had no right or business to allow something small like this to bother him so much. It's what Gustav would drill into him that was expected of a proper king, and indeed, other lords proved themselves to be fearless over far worse than this.

But… as he was trembling mid-way of tilting into Kiran's outstretched hand to feel his touch, he also still felt heavy gratitude Kiran didn't ridicule him of it either. Even if it was just him holding his tongue for later, or because he truly thought little of it all, he loved him beyond words for how frighteningly adaptable Kiran was to keep a good head on his shoulders when Alfonse needed that the most.

"Oh, Alfonse..."

He was vaguely aware of who came into the room. Kiran tried to get his permission first, to his credit, but as uncomfortable as he was, any answer to all this was worth the brief discomfort to investigate. Sharena was the only one he allowed to pet him besides Kiran, but as calm as he tried to force himself to be to take in the people Kiran invited and the words exchanged, his focus just wasn't entirely there. He couldn't tell if he was just too tired and overwhelmed, or something else completely, but he just couldn't quite follow along as well in the discussion or banter this time as he normally could.

He tried to force himself to at least pay attention to bits and pieces when he could. He was touched when, by contrast, Kiran seemed to seriously hang over every word and observation shared. The role reversal would've been more amusing if it weren't for this mess he brought onto them in the first place… 

"So uh… is he a taguel, Panne?" For as rare as it was for Kiran to take charge of a situation instead of him, Alfonse was grateful for this instance and simply remained quiet and leaned against the summoner.

"He is quite close to one at least…" But her tone gave way she wasn't particularly convinced. "He has some similarities…" She held her tongue as not to be even more blunt than she was. She  _ would've _ said he was a rather crude mockery of a proper taguel, but since coming here, and having now been aware of the laguz and similar like-beasts like wolfskins and kitsune, she toyed with the thought perhaps he was a rabbit-based beast of a different sort from taguels.

Still, even if he was completely covered in fur, unlike a taguel leaving their paws, face, and midsection bare, and even with how flat and smooth Alfonse's ears were, he did leave her hesitant to completely dismiss him as a taguel when his face, claws, and the manner he transformed were still too similar to rule out. To say nothing of how he smelled of a buttery caramel in ways that dulche de leche scent transcended his actual, upfront body odor.

"If not, I wonder if he's a laguz bunny then…" Even Sharena tried to piece together what exactly Alfonse was, and as always, she tried to remain calm and optimistic in her tone to ask. However, even he saw she had to somewhat force herself to hide her worries, unlike how naturally calm Kiran was. Did nothing phase him anymore? He knew he had to ask later, but it left him curious when comparing the two.

"Well…" No. Alfonse couldn't really think of any instance of rabbit laguz were brought up, least of all among the beast tribe. Then again, given how the beast tribe thought all traces of the wolf laguz were lost prior to rediscovering Nailah and her pack, and to say nothing of the kitsune, taguel or wolfskin, Alfonse hesitated that maybe there's more kind of beast laguz than what Ike's and Micaiah's armies encountered.

"Then I suppose calling you a taguel would be fair." And Panne didn’t protest it, figuring there was no need to complicate things further.

"Then he's in good hands~!" With how it seemed easily decided of what he was, Sharena's optimism looked and felt more sincere. However, Alfonse was nowhere near as quick to catch up to the same level of acceptance no matter what he was. "We can turn to you for taguel advice, right Panne?"

"And then all he'd need is a beast stone, right?" Kiran was sincere enough as well, but for every time Alfonse glanced his way and expected some sign of the contrary, he stressed himself to the point he felt as if Kiran was perhaps  _ too _ passive now, as if his acceptance was too good to be true. It was like it was perfectly normal for him to wake up one day as a taguel, and it was unnerving him when he felt as if he was the only one who saw this for what it really was.

"...Perhaps. I'll find a stone. And I suppose could share what I know. But, I'm afraid you would be disappointed to know I remember very little." As optimistic as Sharena and Kiran tried to be, and as much as Panne didn't hold a strong opinion of Alfonse being a taguel either way, she was left somewhat frustrated with yet another reminder of how she and Yarne were the only true taguels left. She couldn't quite match such optimism for normally good news (in a sense), especially when she was reminded even moreso of how she was practically robbed of her ability to learn all there was of taguels, let alone what to share with Alfonse beyond what the moon meant to them. 

"Still! Better some information than none at all! Any help is more than we could ask for, Panne~!"

"...Ah. Right." For the first time since she stepped in the room, Panne smiled. It was faint, but Sharena's bright personality was infectious. "Hmhmhm… You are so much like the exalts, Sharena." She could see a combination of Lissa and Emmeryn in her.

"Oh~? Well good then! I'm flattered!"

Yet again, Alfonse wished he could have even a fraction of his sister's spirit. At least he stopped parroting the same tired advice of not getting too close to heroes, but even before, it left him with frustrated awe when not only did Sharena ignore that, but defied it in effectively befriending a majority of the barracks worth to some degree or another.

For now, however, he was grateful, particularly with all this. He tried to relax more and snuggle up beside Kiran with a calm, gentle sigh.

"Maybe a more positive subject change is in order. I've been meaning to ask this anyways, but did you bring back a souvenir from your home world again, Kiran?"

"Eh? I mean, I can look harder next time for stuff, but uh… no. Why?"

"Aww, and here I thought you brought candies or something back… It smells so sweet in here, I almost got excited for something~"

However, Alfonse's attention perked again at the subject at hand. He felt a rising frustration all over again.

"I thought that smell was  _ you, _ Kiran…" He looked between Kiran and Sharena. "The soaps you keep bringing back have such an unusually sweet scent to them. I thought it was just a different type of it." He did vaguely smell something sweet, but he didn't really stop to consider whether that scent was noticeable before or after Kiran rushed to his side, come to think of it.

"No? I still have some of the old ocean one left to tide me over for a while. But it started smelling really sweet and caramel-y since this morning. So you smell it too?"

"It got way stronger being up close to the two of you, so it's not something in the room itself, but… weeeird."

But for all their guessing of the where and why, Panne cleared her throat.

"That smell is Alfonse."

"Eh?!"

"You think I…?  _ Kiran-!" _

While Alfonse was initially trying to find the right words to protest, he didn't expect for Kiran to lean up so close to him and take a strong whiff of his fur. As much as he was flustered of the act itself enough as it were, what frustrated him even moreso was how sudden it all was. 

"She's right. It's way stronger from you, Alf. But there's this weird burned tone to it every now and again."

"Hn… Kiran…" It was good for Kiran to confirm it, but did he really have no sense of shame? Then again, was this normal for couples, and was he just falling back to being the same prude who didn't want to so much as hug and kiss in public?

"We have a keen sense of smell due to how much we communicate through our scents, whether or not we like it." For as far removed as she was from taguel customs beyond religious beliefs, at least she felt more comfortable in regards to scent. "For him to smell so sweet, I believe Alfonse is an omega. A taguel is assigned at birth a dynamic who have varied meanings behind a given scent tone based on it. For an omega, a burning tone means he's feeling something negative. Fear, nervousness, something upsetting of that sort."

"Ah. That makes sense." To Kiran, he nodded in understanding. He recalled a burning tone a moment ago in the midst of Alfonse's panic attack, and a subtler return of it coming and going all day, which made him see the timing lining up with Alfonse's mood.

Alfonse, however, added even more to his burning tone when he stared up to Kiran in disbelief.

"What does it mean for me to be an omega…?" He tried to add more input to the discussion, but he was far less quick to take it all in as par for the course like his boyfriend. 

"Unfortunately, I'm not entirely sure…" Alas, Panne's limited knowledge could only go so far. "I was taught what the dynamics were and how to recognize them, but I was not taught what they each mean. I was too young for deeper details. An omega would have sweeter, calmer scents. An alpha would have heavier scents closer to nature. A beta is either some shade of the two, or neutral yet food-based."

"So you'd be…" Alfonse took a tentative sniff. If Panne was open enough to explain such and identify him, he tried to practice with her likewise. Something about her made him think of pecan pie. "...a beta?"

"Yes." And as he hoped, she thought little of it. To her, it was like tutoring a younger sibling. 

"Neat~ There sounds like there's a lot of nuances to this scent thing~"

At least Sharena took it in stride, and Kiran nodded in agreement of her point. However, as impressive as this was, Alfonse felt even more vulnerable that he could give off tones that left his thoughts out in the open for all to smell.

"Were there other tones? Or is it just between being normal and burnt?"

As if that didn't already out him enough as it is. Alfonse hesitated at Kiran's question.

"If he was in a positive mood, his scent would be stronger and sweeter. If he was sad, it would become very faint. If angered, his tone would be bitter and with a sharp spice to it."

Great… 

He sank lower as he stuck close by Kiran. The summoner tried his best to soothe him, but they could all smell the burnt tones that gave him away of how he wasn't thrilled to be so easily read to such detail.

"And the other dynamics change these scents? How so?" As much as Alfonse was burying his face against Kiran under the summoner's comforts, Sharena became even more curious.

"I suppose it is fair to compare him to me, then. Some meanings are shared among all dynamics. When we are sad, all of us would lose much strength in our scents, and when we are happier, our scents would be stronger and fresh. Were I angered, I too would have a bitter tone, but an alpha would be much more rotten. I have been made aware by the Shepherds that when I am negative, they smell something rotten as well, but an alpha who is negative would reek of an unwashed musk."

"Eergh… I see… but you seem pretty calm then! I'm so glad we have you to ask these things, Panne~"

"I do what I can." And to Alfonse's credit, it brought at least a little comfort to teach another taguel besides Yarne, as unconventional as this all was.

But then that left the task of finding a beast stone. Panne reassured them not to worry of it, and the three placed their full trust in her. In the time she left, Sharena tried to soothe her brother just a little more before parting ways, and Alfonse hesitated to push Kiran too hard with questions as the summoner took initiative to continue to clean up after their bed and set up clean linens.

But the giant rabbit laid low against the couch, watching the summoner quietly yet timidly. He tried to keep himself calm, especially when he noticed Kiran look his way whenever his scent burned too much as to be cause for concern, now that he knew what it meant. But he couldn't quite help his thoughts, much as he tried his best to let Kiran be.

What took Kiran so long? He said it was for pleasant reasons, but while Alfonse didn't bring it up since waking up, neither did Kiran. Why did he suddenly turn into a taguel? Given the heavier focus Panne and Sharena put on him, and the lack of panic otherwise once he himself was soothed, he guessed nobody else in the festival were cursed, but why him? And more glaringly, what the hell did he do to Kiran? He saw Kiran's back quite a few times midway of making their bed, relieved that his wounds must have been closed with vulneraries by then not to stain his mostly-white coat as well, but his panic threatened to creep up on him at the memories of what he saw earlier from the bloodied claw marks to his blood-caked claws otherwise.

"Ah, you didn't wash up at all since this morning, huh…"

Alfonse blinked slowly at him. He heard, and understood, what Kiran was saying to him, yet he didn't fully process it enough to respond past a distant stare.

"And it'll be trickier in that form, huh… Let me draw a bath for you and I'll help you out, ok Alf?"

He slowly nodded. At least this time he paid a bit more attention, but his thoughts were clearly elsewhere. 

He walked almost mechanically as Kiran lead him. He could've led him straight into a pitfall right then, and Alfonse would be none the wiser until he fell right in. Fortunately, Kiran meant what he said, even if it took him well into the point he was soaked in the bath to finally find it in him to speak up again. 

"What happened to your back last night?"

"Huh?" Given how quiet Alfonse was, up to that point, it took Kiran a moment to realize what he said. He was in the process of taking a small bucket to pour the soapy water over Alfonse’s back, especially with Alfonse slumped over to rest his head over an edge of the tub.

"What happened to your back, Kiran?" He repeated himself, but the second time, the worry in his voice was a little stronger. He could forgive him the first time, but woe betide Kiran if he 'misheard' him a second time.

"Don't worry about it. I'm patched up and fine. You can look later if it'll help you feel any better." He brushed it off with a soft chuckle. But as much as  _ Kiran _ didn't mind it anymore, Alfonse clearly did, especially as he rose his head up a little higher.

"Just because you're fine  _ now _ doesn't erase the fact that I hurt you." There was an urgency in the look he gave, and his voice tensed. He was even less calm with Kiran trying to pet the side of his face to try yet again to dismiss it all.

"It happens. It's not like you did it on purpose. Relax, will you?"

_ "Kiran…" _

"I mean it too, Alf." Seeing he clearly couldn't pet his way out of this, he went back to trying to wash his fur, and trying to ignore the way Alfonse's glare burned into him. "Sometimes when couples get a bit too rough, they might hurt each other by accident,especially when both of us hadn't learned any better yet."

_ "You know damn well that isn't the point."  _ Alfonse hissed faster than he could help it. Briefly, Kiran even got a glimpse of the fact that, for a rabbit-based creature, Alfonse clearly had the fangs more like a wolf.  _ "How often do couples sprout claws?! How often do they tear up one another into ribbons and carelessly let them bleed out?! The whole time, I hurt you enough to bleed all night, and you didn't tell me?!" _

"But I'm fine even in the morning, wasn't I? The sheets might look a bit gnarly at the moment, but it only looked worse than it was, Alf." And yet, Kiran still remained so calm and nonchalant. He thought little else about his wounds than to shrug at it and put it quickly out of mind.

Unbelievable. Was that  _ really _ all he had to say for himself?!

"Do you always have to just-?!  _ How are you always so calm?!" _

"...Should I  _ not _ be?"

_ "I don't know!" _ Any other person might've been concerned for an awfully feral-looking wolf-fanged, giant rabbit to openly snarl in anger, and yet, to Alfonse's confused frustrations, Kiran was  _ still _ calm of all of it. "I'm not even human anymore! I already proved I was more than capable of seriously hurting you!  _ Out of carelessness, no less! _ And yet, after all this, you act as if this is just another day, and like all of this is normal! Do you even care?!"

But with how Kiran pulled back a little, Alfonse took pause, and horror dawned on him of what he was doing.

He realized he was standing up in the tub, and he was suddenly aware of how much he towered over Kiran in this form. Kiran was no longer his carefree self, and in looking past him to a mirror behind the summoner, he realized how he looked so feral, and how his flattened, wet fur barely did anything to lessen the terrifying look. If the look wasn't what shut Kiran down, there was also the sting to his words.

"...I… I didn't mean it like…" He lowered himself and sunk back into the tub, easing back into the position he took when Kiran was washing him, but now he was trembling as it was all sinking in. "I-I'm doing it again, I…"

"I care."

He looked back to the summoner. He immediately recognized how the tone of his voice also wasn't as carefree as before either. He messed up. There was no other explanation.

But, why was Kiran cupping his cheek? He looked hurt, so why?

"I'm calm because I want to help you be calm." So he messed up even at that, too? He felt his chest tighten a little at the thought. "I care, but you're gonna eat yourself alive with that kind of guilt. And it wouldn't be worth that."

He tilted his head into Kiran's touch. He didn't dare say another word or interrupt his point, but he'd be lying if he knew where Kiran's point would go from here. At least Kiran took enough cues that he was calming down again, even if by virtue that he was sulking.

"You're fine as long as it's still you. If I truly felt I was in danger, you'd know. I guess I thought too much that after everything else, I was clear enough about that."

Or maybe, Alfonse himself had his thoughts fogged of all the ways he was too biased over what he  _ thought _ Kiran would think or do not to trust Kiran enough to notice the truth. 

He hated himself so much…

"I guess I never really told you about that good thing yesterday..."

"No…" He couldn't quite muster the energy to look up, and less so to look to Kiran. His tone, and lack of a bitter scent reassured Kiran he wasn't resentful of him, but he still didn't find it fair for Alfonse to collapse on himself all over again either. 

The only time Alfonse focused back on him was when Kiran forced it by virtue of kissing him on his forehead. The prince noticed he was smiling again, if faintly.

"You remember how you kept asking me sometimes about my phone?"

"Ah… That magic tablet you focus on that connects you to your world…"

Kiran snorted before he could help himself. He never did get tired of the way Alfonse made his modern day things sound far more grand and legendary than they really were.

"Yeah, well, it took a lot of prep, but I got a second one."

"Oh… That's interesting… So you can use its power two-fold like Breidablik now." 

"I got it for  _ you, _ Alfonse." As adorable as Kiran found it for him to hold something as simple to such high regard, he stopped the prince in place with a playful poke to his forehead and a far wider grin. He could pinpoint the exact moment it sunk in what he said from how wide Alfonse's dark blue eyes grew.

"Is that really possible? Surely a relic like that has to choose a wielder, yes? I'm not even from your world, how do you know it'll choose me…?"

"Because it isn't  _ that _ deep or special." But he did find it cute (if distressing) how much thought Alfonse was putting into this. "It'll work with whoever I tell it to work with. It might take a while to set up, but in the time it takes for you to turn back, it'll work just fine with you as mine does for me."

"Is that so… but… why are you giving this to me?"

"Mostly for the texting."

"The texts…? What does the scripts on the tablet have to do with-"

"Not like that. Look, when I get it set up, I'll show you what I mean and how it works." But for now, his focus went back to washing Alfonse before the water could get too cold. "Since the magic in the air in this world worked really well with my phone, I don't see why it wouldn't work for you. Especially given how it was for Feh and her intel and all…"

Yes, that was true. Not that Alfonse knew how to explain it, and he highly doubted Anna or especially Feh would either. But that still didn't answer the question of what it was for or why.

"To put a long story short, with it, you can keep talking to me whether or not I'm here."

But right then, his heart skipped a beat.

"I… could…? How would…" He was less asking for clarity, and more like his mind was catching up. Surely this was too good to be true. "I-I could really… and… Is that really possible?"

"You wouldn't have to be so freaked out all the time, like how you were yesterday. I figured it would put your mind at ease with it, so I worked toward getting it for some time."

He really did all that for him…? Maybe he didn't fully understand the specifics of what went into getting this phone or what Kiran meant of working toward it, but the extent of such efforts were clear enough. And for him to recognize his fears and go out of his way to destroy them...

He could've fallen in love with him all over again.

* * *

For once in a long time, Alfonse was excited. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this way. It was definitely when he was just a child, and before he grew up so guarded and jaded.

At first, his thoughts were already piling onto him to tear his hopes apart. Maybe he read into Kiran's words wrong and he didn't  _ really _ mean what he said. It sounded far too good to be true. Something like that? Impossible! He was far too quick to get his hopes up.

But then he saw it. Kiran had a box he took out of his convoy, and in that box was a phone nigh identical to Kiran's, but it was unactivated, thinner, and there were all manner of parts Kiran had that he said he was going to need to assemble first.

Alfonse tried his best to follow his words. Something about protecting a 'screen' of some sort? A case? Something about registering it? And yet however manner Kiran would've constructed it and activated its magic, he said it would be bound to him somehow, and he didn't have to do a thing of it until after. Was it really that simple without some part of him involved…?

"Look, it'll make sense after, but just don't worry about it too much, for now. Let me worry about this."

Of all the things Alfonse took away from trying to follow along, he at least took the most important thing of all.

_ Kiran meant exactly what he said. _

He felt anxious again, but it was of a much different sort. It took him a while to realize it was  _ excitement _ he felt instead. There was still a part of him that tried to remind himself not to let his feelings get the better of him and rein it in, but he could barely contain himself about Kiran doing this for him.

Unfortunately, there  _ was _ still the matter of helping him return to his human form again. In all the excitement, he very narrowly forgot of it. At least it made it easier on Kiran’s part to keep him calm in the meantime, especially with how Alfonse seemed in better spirits for once in quite a while.

As Panne promised, she did find a new stone for him. She didn’t go into any detail whatsoever of where and how she got one, but given how big of a favor this was in the first place, Kiran, Sharena and Alfonse didn’t find it appropriate for them to pry further. With seeing another taguel (or, well, a rabbit close enough to one,) Yarne was thrilled to see he that the future of the species didn’t rest entirely on him after all, and was a bit too quick to try to inspect the prince to a point of nearly smothering him.

It didn’t inspire much confidence for Alfonse to terrify Yarne into keeping his distance in the form of arching his back, fluffing himself up to grow three times his size, and avoid Yarne’s failed attempt to smother him by smothering Kiran instead with fairly mindless, aggressive purrs and chittering.

He didn’t know what came over him in the moment, but he fell over himself trying to apologize to him and Panne no matter how nonchalant Panne was of the whole display. At least Yarne forgave him once he triple-checked the prince wouldn’t try to kill him, but it left him frustrated to turn so feral even for a moment that even Kiran was caught off guard of the display.

Following Panne’s advice, Kiran tried to redirect Alfonse’s attention back to the stone. Alfonse insisted to go somewhere private to use it, not just to give her and Yarne space after such a display, but in also vaguely recalling just in time that he wasn’t wearing anything prior to his transformation into a taguel. In retreating back to their chambers, his concerns were proven right.

Kiran tensed the entire time he watched. It was quick, and to Alfonse, it was painless, but the feeling of his entire body shifting and changing so quickly without a distraction like last time still caught him off guard enough to whine and moan in ways that left Kiran highly on edge, thinking it was hurting him. Thinking back to how quick he was to dismiss the ears and tail in the midst of having sex, Kiran felt some level of guilt in watching Alfonse’s ears shrink and shift and his tail retreat, emphasizing they weren’t, in fact, costume accessories and the ridiculousness of such an idea back then. 

Eventually, Alfonse completely changed back, as if his earlier transformation was all but forgotten, tucked away within the now-glowing stone. He was near breathless more from his nerves than the exertion, and Kiran took a moment before feeling brave enough to reach out to the completely naked prince.

“You alright?”

“Y-yes… I…. I-I’ll am fine… I… just be fine...” That’s right, wasn’t it? That’s how to make the words go, right? Or was it wrong? Was Kiran giving him a funny look out of concern, or something else? He should probably get the clothes put on (what was the word for it again? ‘Dress?’ They don’t have any dresses...) No matter, he tried to push himself up.

But then he realized just how quickly the room around him was spinning (or was he himself spinning?) and barely realized he fell forward when Kiran caught him and held him close.

In all the excitement of what the two were caught up on, he was immediately reminded Kiran  _ still _ wasn’t given much time to dress up properly since throwing on his coat and pants when his cheek pressed against Kiran’s warm, bare chest. 

“Take your time, Alf. You need a bit more time than that, and that’s ok.”

He could feel Kiran rubbing circles along his back, but he was more comforted by the warmth of his chest and the faint beating of his heart he could hear and feel. With how lightheaded and dizzy he was, he groaned and simply buried his face between Kiran’s breasts while giving in to his embrace and comforts, figuring that was that. No more taguel, no more bunny parts, he could just bury this beast stone so far deep into his convoy and forget about all this.

Now, about that phone...

* * *

As promised, Kiran tried to use the time Alfonse was laying low to regain himself to set up the phone. For as long as he knew him, Alfonse always contrasted Sharena’s cheerful, optimistic personality with one who was far too pessimistic and guarded. Once he recovered enough to know down from up, however, it was like the sitting beside a male, blue-haired Sharena. He was bright-eyed, visibly thrilled, and as patient as Kiran was to talk and set the phone from its software to hardware otherwise, the prince was filled with numerous questions that were half-cautious, but all only served to hype up his curiosity more.

“Are there any limits to its magic? Like how many times I could contact you?”

“Nah.”

“There’s… really? Is there a price to be paid, then?”

“Nah.” Or rather, that was left for Kiran to worry about. Not that Alfonse had to know.

“But is it secure…? If I were to talk to you, I’m talking only to just you, yes?”

“Yes. If you do it like this, it’s just for my eyes only. Or I guess whoever else you show your phone’s screen off to. But the messages are just to me otherwise.”

“And you really don’t mind if I truly spoke my mind? Or when I do so…?”

“Go nuts, Alf.”

Every question Alfonse was armed with, Kiran may have been quick and blunt, but it only served to relieve him more. At last, the phone was in Alfonse’s hands, and what initially started with timid pokes to the phone, or even more questions to clarify Kiran’s instructions, turned into Alfonse quickly adapting and easing to the entire concept and texting like a pro to Kiran, especially as the summoner showed what the resulting texts looked like on his end.

“And that’s that! So no more worries, alright~?”

“...Yeah… Right~”

So with that settled, surely Alfonse could have much more peace of mind, right?

Eventually, Kiran returned to his world once more. At first, Alfonse initially felt himself slip into old habits of his worries for the summoner returning safely to him, but Kiran was quick to remind him by text of the gift he gave him, that he sent all the way from his own world, wherever he was there. Alfonse could talk to him whenever. He could speak his mind without limit or restraint. Though he had to be reminded of such, it was all he needed to relax again.

Time passed so quickly as usual. Kiran left early in the morning when the sun barely rose, and by the time he was done with business as usual, the sun was just starting to set and give up on the day just as he was. The monotony of it all made the summoner himself nearly forget about the second phone, even in spite of his hypocrisy to remind Alfonse, but it helped take off the edge from the long day in a world he had far less significance in than the world where being a summoner suddenly had such a heavy meaning to it.

He took out his phone to try to check on Alfonse on his way home, and well before he would return to Askr once outside the public eye. Even just to fish his phone out, it was already vibrating in erratic patterns, hinting he caught Alfonse in the midst of texting. At least it relieved Kiran he seemed to take pretty well to it all, assuming the Order of Heroes were still as safe as he left them.

Even before seeing a single text, he was suddenly made aware that Alfonse took  _ so _ well to the whole process that the unread messages awaiting Kiran had very narrowly reached triple digits.

And with more vibrating and pings, it quickly  _ did _ hit the triple digits and climbed from then on.

“Oh Alf…” Were it any other person, it would’ve been cause for concern, but Kiran sighed in amusement and shook his head as he tried to text back. It would take far more time for him to go over all the messages, but he at least wanted to prove ahead of time he was alright.

[On my way back. Catching up.]

As Kiran was starting to try to slowly navigate the unread messages, he figured as much that Alfonse saw what he said mostly for how the incoming messages stopped climbing right after. Looking through it, he could see a huge majority of it were parts to much longer messages, rather than him spamming him in rapid succession, having not quite gotten used to short, succinct texting like Kiran had. He practically had a whole timeline of how Alfonse’s mood was for the entire day based on the tones and the subject matter of what he read.

First, Alfonse was still somewhat dubious about it all. His texts were timid questions like “Can you really get my messages even in your world?” to immediate self-dismissal follow-ups like “Ah, but that was foolish to ask, given your earlier message. I apologize for taking your time.” It was like the textual equivalent of dipping his toes into a pool, retreating at the first contact with water, and slowly trying to ease his whole body into the pool.

Then he realized Kiran didn’t chew him out for ‘wasting his time’. Granted, Kiran was too caught up with his own issues to respond, but Alfonse didn’t seem to mind it, and he started detailing things he, Anna, Sharena and Feh planned for the day, based on Feh’s reports. It would go figure Alfonse tried so hard to stay dutiful and work hard, even in slower moments when Askr as a whole had time to relax, and for a while, he seemed to try to limit himself only to text Kiran for matters related to their duties. His texts were summaries of not just the plans, but a report of a fairly successful training drill and scouting mission.

And then just as Kiran stepped onto the platform of a lightrail tram, he caught up to the other half of the messages of what Alfonse left him. Their time stamps were getting far closer in-between messages, and by then he started feeling braver of talking about things that weren’t solely about his duties. He noted things he saw other heroes do. He noted things he came across with thoughts about taking Kiran to see them (and reminding the summoner he’s yet to teach him how to take photos). He spoke his mind about what to cook in the mess hall for them, his gratitude for the phone, his guilt of how much he left behind for Kiran to read, and then clear evidence he tried to distract himself with musings over a book he found out of place in the library only to be immediately followed with dire warnings not to touch anything that Nina left her signature on.

All this, and he  _ finally _ caught up to a much more recent message. It may not have been nearly as long as he thought, but it was still long enough.

[When you are finished, could I ask you something?]

At least he took his advice of speaking his mind to heart more.

[Yeah, go ahead.] [Sorry it took so long.] [You alright, Alf?]

[Yes. Please come back safely.]

[Good!] [I will.] [So what did you wanna ask?]

[I was wondering if we could do it again tonight.]

[What?]

[What we did yesterday.]

Quickly catching Kiran’s attention, the summoner nearly misstepped on his way out of the tram.

[lol You’re still ok with stuff like that after last time?]

[“lol”?]

[Ah, sorry. Nevermind that.]

[Alright…] [I want to do it again, but I want to do it a bit differently.]

[How so?]

[Are you really ok with it? You really want to hear me out?]

Kiran was all too happy to do so, but suddenly, he was far more conscious to try to hide his screen from view as he continued to pass by other people. He read Alfonse’s ideas and responded in kind, keeping the two of them busy just as Kiran went home and eventually to Askr, until he reunited with a far calmer than usual prince to spend the rest of the day with. Already, the phone did wonders to his anxieties, to a point even Anna and Sharena noticed he wasn’t quite as uptight this time compared to usual, but that left the rest of the evening up in the air. Food was shared, tasks were neatly wrapped up, and all that was left was unwinding together the rest of the night.

* * *

“And you’re sure you’re ok with this? Truly?”

_ “Yes. _ I’m completely sure. Promise.”

Kiran leaned back against the bedframe just as Alfonse leaned up against him and started undoing the buttons to Kiran’s shirt. Last time, Alfonse trusted Kiran with his entire being. This time, Kiran promised to do the same for him. As nervous as he was to make sure one more time he didn’t change his mind, he was reassured between Kiran’s words and the way he leaned up just long enough to kiss him before settling again. 

He at least figured as much that they were better off stripping down. With what he recalled Kiran would do, he worked on Kiran's shirt enough to open it and let both ends trail down to either of his sides, leaving his chest completely open to Alfonse's whims.

Except… last time, Kiran acted as if he knew naturally where to go from here. And he had to admit, his focus during it all was rather… muddled… Kiran was just as patient now as he was back then, but given last time he practically forced Kiran to take charge, Alfonse felt like he absolutely  _ needed _ to prove himself, but felt flustered how he wasn't sure where to begin. With how he wasn't even sure where to go from  _ here, _ he paused in his attempts to strip him more.

Maybe… kiss him again…? At least  _ this _ time, he knew better than to bite him at random. In trying to redeem himself, he kissed at Kiran's chest and move upward. It frustrated him to some degree that Kiran wasn't quite as easy to wind up into moaning or whining in pleasure, but what drove Alfonse to do the same last night was his inexperience of what to expect. He trailed up with gentle kisses Kiran was lulled into relaxing with, and eventually, the prince worked his way up to Kiran's Adam's apple, and then trail along the nape, nearing the exact area he lost his nerves and bit him in last time.

Except the moment he shifted Kiran's shirt just enough to slip it off his shoulder and expose the curve, he froze up completely. Despite how the vulnerary did its work to immediately seal the wound way back when, their focus splintered so much since then that they didn't really focus on the wound after the incident, and every other time since, Kiran hid it in some way. 

But now he saw what became of it. Now there was some kind of mark that resembled a rabbit. Yet the texture of it was an odd discoloration that left him uncertain if it were some kind of bruise, were it not for the weirdly detailed rune-like design. There was no mistake that between the rabbit-shaped sigil and the area it marred Kiran's skin on that  _ he _ caused this. But then what did it mean for Kiran? 

"Hm…?"

"I… I'm so sorry…" He reached out to touch the sigil, tracing his fingers along the design. With a huff, Kiran simply reached over to gently take Alfonse's hand and rub his thumb along the back of it.

"Hey… Don't worry so much of that, will you? It doesn't even hurt anymore, so don't stress yourself out over it again." He shifted a little and took Alfonse's hand close enough to kiss the back of it outright before letting him go completely. He may have been quick to try to dispel Alfonse's worries, but it was also clear he may not have realized the full extent of what became of that bite.

As much as he huffed at how quick Kiran was to dismiss it all, he also made his point clear. Reluctantly, he dropped the focus on the mark to figure out how to approach his original plan. He remembered Kiran giving so much attention to his chest last time. Would that get a rise out of him, too? It was worth a try, anyways.

He rubbed along Kiran's chest, starting from his sides. He could feel Kiran take deeper breaths, but while he felt hopeful that he was on the right track, he felt discouraged when it occurred to him how much this felt like he was just massaging away his stress than working Kiran up. He tried to move upward on a path toward his breasts, but while Kiran's breaths picked up, and he certainly looked like he was enjoying it, Alfonse was even more frustrated he couldn't quite get him to enjoy it the  _ other _ way like he wanted. His hands groped and brushed against Kiran's breasts, and his thumbs brushed over his nipples, but while he  _ finally _ got Kiran to a point he shuddered to the attention, it still wasn't quite the same way as how he himself melted under Kiran's touch the night before.

But he was on to something! He wouldn't give up now! Seeing an opportunity, he immediately seized it.

"Ah-! A-Alf, not so hard…"

If a bit too literally. He did very little to warm Kiran up, so it came as a surprise abrupt enough to make Kiran squeak mid-breath when Alfonse reached over and grabbed the general area of his breasts, leading him to pinch his nipples far too roughly than he was actually prepared for. Flushed on the face, Alfonse was quick to initially retreat back, but tried to ease into going back to reaching out his hands to Kiran's breasts and fondling his nipples with his fingers. Unfortunately, with his guilt to act way too harsh, too quickly, now he was so soft and gentle as to fluster the both of him at his discomforts he made clear of from his feather touch.

"Alf… It's ok to be just a little rougher than that…" But he also realized he wasn't exactly helping with his advice alternating so much like this. He reached out his hands toward Alfonse's. "Here, try this-"

"No, wait, please don't."

Before he could actually so much as touch Alfonse's hands, Kiran relented and dropped his own. Not that he himself minded either way, but the look the prince shot to him was desperate and anxious.

"Please Kiran, let me learn. You somehow knew all this on your own. I need to do the same."

But as much as Kiran didn't protest past a faint sigh, deep down it wasn't  _ entirely _ true. He had some vague ideas well before, even if not exactly as a trustworthy, foolproof guide. Still, he did see Alfonse's point, and especially when he reminded himself that what he did last night was all experimental, too.

So he took Alfonse's experimenting patiently. He owed him that much, at least. But while it didn't exactly get him in the mood any faster, both drew very different conclusions on why. To Alfonse, he was getting frustrated and nearly discouraged he couldn't figure out a way to get Kiran to even a fraction of the excitement he himself had last night, but also felt worse he somehow lacked the same instinct and drive to find it out for himself like the summoner did. For Kiran, his mood in the not-quite-heated moment was hard to pick up on, especially when Alfonse was stressing out so much that he could feel it. If anything, he worried more for how Alfonse was overthinking it than feeling aroused, but he further hesitated to interfere when the prince despite the urge to just guide him.

Fine. So Kiran wasn't much for having his breasts played with after all, and quite frankly Alfonse was too nervous as to make any attention to the summoner's nipples something that stressed the two out and frustrate them. He could try another tactic.

But… last time, Kiran also poured quite a lot of love to fondling his tail, and even with that mark, Kiran didn't exactly sprout one of his own. As the summoner sighed when Alfonse backed off enough to give him space, he turned on his side just enough to prove his ass was - without a shadow of a doubt - tail free.

Shit. What next then?

"You alright?" Kiran smiled, if weakly and halfheartedly. He could see the cogs clearly turning, but the poor prince was stuck, even if he wouldn't admit it.

"Yes, yes, it's fine. Just… give me a moment…"

He pressed a hand against one of the cheeks of Kiran's ass without really thinking about it. With a huff, Kiran simply turned over the rest of the way and slumped on the bed, resting his chin over a pillow he tucked to himself while laying flat on his stomach. He didn't entirely mind Alfonse grabbing his ass in the first place, and as Alfonse timidly tried again in pressing both hands against either cheeks, he perked with hope when Kiran moaned, if rather softly. 

He tried to fondle Kiran's ass more like his earlier attempt at his breasts. With a much more definite moan, he kept doing it while wondering if maybe Kiran was harder to turn on the other ways because of how predictable his own methods were to him. Maybe he's more into the element of surprise? He got into position of thinking if he went out of turn of what came next, it could excite him.

In some ways, it did. Just not the way Alfonse hoped.

Trying not to scream outright to terrify Alfonse or everyone within the same hallway, Kiran immediately buried his face into the pillows and unleashed a long, muffled stream of curses, some of which Alfonse could decipher, others of which he was pretty sure Kiran made up on the spot.

Alfonse tried to slip his cock into Kiran's hole. Unfortunately, the last time Kiran navigated his cock into his own hole, he himself failed to realize he forgot a step, and as Alfonse learned, the step Kiran  _ did _ remember was way more important for Kiran to try to stick his fingers into his hole than he earlier realized. More, Kiran's hole was nowhere near as welcoming, was far too tight, and even more of an uncomfortably tight fit when Alfonse didn't even go in gently or calmly like Kiran had, but shoved into him way too roughly. Even as Alfonse panicked and pulled out, the damage was still done.

No matter how fast-acting vulnerary was, Alfonse was panicking in vain hope it can work even faster right then.

* * *

_ "What the hell was I thinking?!" _

"Alf-"

"No! Sit! Don't move!"

Kiran huffed, but obeyed. By then, his asshole was much more sore than necessarily in pain, but Alfonse wouldn't let him move off the cushion he kept chilled with a dormant water blessing tucked inside anyways. The mood was gone and nothing he said could bring it back, but Kiran didn't exactly make the strongest point of it anyways when his aching hole wasn't quite so ready for Round 2. He didn't even have to say a peep for Alfonse - in his guilt and shame - not to even look his way and maintained an uncomfortable distance, as if merely touching him would break him again.

"Alfonse, you probably wouldn't be the first or last to try to go in hard and dry-"

_ "You trusted me!" _

"Look, you got a bit too quick on the draw, but everyone makes mista-"

_ "I hurt you! Again! And in an even worse way than the first time!" _

"Alf, please calm dow-"

_ "And you're still so calm about it! Why?! How?! Are you not the least bit angry with me?!" _

"Not really…?"

He couldn’t tell whether or not to be thankful of this. Even if Kiran didn’t hold a grudge, was that still fair? If anything, what Kiran wouldn’t do, Alfonse made up for it by shaming himself enough to keep his distance, and it was more than enough guilt to last, not just well after that night, but a few days after.

At first, it was like Alfonse took steps back in the relationship to before the Spring Festival. He clearly still loved Kiran, and the feeling was mutual across words and texts, but he hesitated to do anything more past gentle, near-chaste things like pecks to the cheek or nestling up against Kiran. As always, Kiran gave him time to pick up the pieces, and it was even easier when both of them tried to distract themselves more than usual.

But then it was obvious the longer the two tried to bottle their feelings that something was up, moreso with Alfonse than with Kiran. Even the others were starting to notice Alfonse’s change in demeanor, from his lack of focus or appetite, to how anxious he seemed and how quickly he would find any excuse to leave to his and Kiran’s chambers, and then practically lock himself down in there until Kiran would come home. His texts also completely dropped from backing up Kiran’s logs in double and triple digits, to only a handful of short words spread apart throughout the day.

So it made it easier to pick up Alfonse’s latest texts at just the moment he sent it.

[i nede uoy][come hmoe]

Even past the typoes from Alfonse’s unsteady fingers, Kiran tried all he could to rush straight back to Askr. It didn’t inspire confidence when Alfonse ignored Kiran’s own texts, took way longer than usual to want to open the door, or the loud moan Alfonse made a moment ago that seemed equally aroused as he was pained just before scrambling to get up and let him in.

When the door  _ did _ open, Kiran didn’t anticipate Alfonse would grab him and pull him into the room. The summoner barely had time to close the door as the prince tried to drag him further toward the bed. He was immediately aware that Alfonse was was completely stripped naked, he sprouted rabbit ears and his tail again, and yet, he was visibly terrified and stressed.

“H-help…” 

“Alf, what hap-mmph!”

He wouldn’t even give Kiran much time to ask before crashing his lips onto the summoner’s. He could feel how heated Alfonse was, not just in his kiss, but literally feeling he was far warmer than usual from the contact. While Kiran didn’t push him away, and eased into the quick, rough kissing, he reached up to feel Alfonse’s forehead, which not only confirmed how heated his skin was, but surprised him of how much Alfonse nuzzled his hand rather aggressively. 

“I-I need you…” His voice was meek. Kiran could hear the way his voice wavered as he struggled to speak clearly in between rough, heated breaths. 

"Alf, what's wrong?” He tried to be gentle, not just in his tone, but the way he grabbed Alfonse and led him the rest of the way to their bed. Unfortunately, moving there felt like he made the problem worse, particularly with just how anxious Alfonse grew to move and huddle up beside him. He was trembling and clinging against the fabric of Kiran's clothes in ways Kiran couldn't tell if something hurt him or frightened him. Then again, maybe it was both.

"H-hurts…"

"You were attacked?"

Alfonse shook his head, but he couldn't tell if maybe this was part of his curse or not. "My lower body… It's hurting…! I-I don't know how to... _ Aah-!" _

He felt it suddenly getting worse, especially with the contact. His grip briefly tightened against Kiran's clothes, but relaxed just in time not to shred them. His hands were trembling the entire time he eased his grip, and he shuddered in Kiran's hold.

"We need to get a healer-"

_ "No-!" _

"Alf, you're burning up!"

"Please…! I can't explain now, but I just need  _ you! _ Please…!"

He couldn't get anyone else involved. It was bad enough for what he needed from Kiran all of a sudden, but it'll be worse to risk anyone else. As much as Kiran hated the idea of not getting his health checked, he relented in trusting Alfonse.

"What should I do?"

With heavy relief, Alfonse tried to lead Kiran where he needed him. He had just enough self-control to guide Kiran closer to the center of the bed. With Kiran near, and with the pillows he already gathered in his failed attempts to relieve himself out of this, he shifted around and got into position, lowering his chest and elevating his ass as his stomach balanced and crushed over the pillows, presenting himself.

"Please hurry…"

Kiran blinked. Looking to the ass, he took a moment to catch on. However, when he looked past Alfonse's ass, and toward the prince himself, he saw the way he was digging his nails into whatever clumps of sheets he could grab, and more, he shut his eyes tightly in his current pain. Compared to the earlier times Alfonse seemed partially curious and mostly eager to experiment, now he seemed as if he was forcing himself to do this, and he looked as if he dreaded every moment of it.

Kiran huffed.

As Kiran guessed, Alfonse wasn't really in the mood. He hated every moment of this, from the bizarre, embarrassing pain, to how powerless he felt in his own body that he was left so vulnerable with lust. He took solace that at least it would've been his lover over just anyone who happened to cross him like this, but there were tears trickling his eyes that even this was barely a compromise. He was using Kiran, he realized. He was using him for an impulsive feeling that took over his body, just like the rest of the physical changes from the curse.

"Please…" He begged once more, but his voice weakened and cracked. He felt Kiran grab his hips, and already he was shifting around in the hold in a weak attempt to make Kiran straddle him. His breaths picked up and he shut his eyes even tighter, taking the delay as a sign Kiran was stripping and preparing to stick his cock back into his hole, no matter how painfully it ached.

He felt Kiran put pressure against the rim of his hole, but despite how Alfonse yelped out a scared moan initially, it took him a moment to realize that pressure seemed to be partially in and out of his walls. To his confusion, it felt far different from when Kiran first slipped his cock into him. He felt like wasn't even preparing him with his fingers either. 

His cries continued, but weakened and trailed off to softer moans and whines. Daring to look, it occurred to him Kiran didn't strip after all. If anything, the only thing he stripped out of were his gloves. Despite his attempts to shift around some more and rock against Kiran's touch, he couldn't grind his ass against Kiran, and the summoner held him in a position that made it uncomfortable to thrash about too much.

"Kiran…" His voice grew a little in strength, but not by much.

"It's alright. Try to catch your breath and relax."

He wanted to protest of how useless that advice was right then, but feeling Kiran rub him more, he moaned again only for his voice to soften to soft whimpers. 

His mind didn't feel as fogged now. Everything still ached from his hole to how much he felt like his cock could explode or break off otherwise, but the more Kiran was rubbing him, he felt weirdly calmer and soothed. He realized Kiran was massaging him where he ached most, and he could feel the way Kiran tried to relieve him in ways he couldn't initially tell if there was vulnerary involved or not. It helped him enough to catch his breath, but he still moved in a slow, tired, vain attempt to try to hump the pillow underneath him to soothe his cock similarly.

"There too?"

Without looking up or saying a word, Alfonse weakly nodded. He tensed up when he felt Kiran ease off his hole to touch his cock. What he expected was Kiran to toy with him and work him up, shuddering in remembering fairly quickly how Kiran worked him up in their first time.

But while Alfonse thought his concerns were proven right from feeling the rubs intermixed with how raw the pain in his cock felt, Kiran neither squeezed him nor held him all that tightly. It was just enough to gently rub him without grabbing or pumping him like before. He initially wasn't sure if letting him pump him would've left him better off, but as he was initially aware of how wet he felt for what Kiran rubbed on his cock, he flushed with even more embarrassment when Kiran was patient enough to ease his cock to release and go limp no matter how long and drawn out the process felt.

By the time Kiran was done with him, Alfonse's breathing calmed enough to quiet down, and he slumped against the bed. His entire lower body felt like he nearly lost his nerves even as the pain and lust subsided, to a point he didn't trust himself to walk to even attempt to get up.

"I'll go draw a bath. Good thing we got so many bedsheets, huh…"

The best he could respond with was little else but a huff. Like it or not, he took Kiran's advice to rest in place while waiting up for him. He was unfortunately aware of when Kiran was ready when the summoner returned, only to scoop him up in his arms as if he were a bride. At first, he was reflexively flustered of being picked up and held in such a way, but… was he always this strong before? It gave him pause to realize how much the summoner grew from the day they first met up to now. He didn't quite realize that, from Kiran's perspective, maybe he himself isn't so far off in catching up to Lif either.

He slumped against Kiran in the entire trip to the bath.

* * *

"Don't worry about it," Kiran said. "As long as you're fine, that's all that matters," Kiran said. "And will you stop worrying about your ears? You'll be ok," Kiran said.

So why did he feel like this wasn't fine? None of it was!

He was clean and dressed now, and so was the bed. Kiran did his best to try to change the sheets quick enough on his own while Alfonse was too weak and unstable to so much as stand up unassisted, let alone help. Yet again, Alfonse was left frustrated at how calm and chilled Kiran was of just accepting this for what it was, or how he tried to coax him to sleep it all off and put it out of mind like him.

At first, he tried to go along with it. He thought he was tired enough to crash as fast as Kiran did and leave the woes and worries for tomorrow. But Kiran's burdens he brought back from his world only added to Alfonse's guilt to drag him all the way back here just to save him from himself on top of it all. And so, he remained awake even despite his efforts.

Even after Kiran helped him, and even after the bath, he was still left in the form he took when his body betrayed him: Still stuck with his ears, nails and tail. Where he was initially relieved and assured he could just seal away his entire rabbit form in the beast stone and forget all that nonsense ever happened, he was unfortunately reminded that it wasn't the stone that helped change him, but merely ease him between his true form and a form that seemed to be stuck with him after all, possibly for the rest of his life. 

It wouldn't have upset him so much if not for the numerous ways he's found of how to hurt his lover since transforming. Kiran might've still been so accepting and accommodating of him, but how long would Kiran's patience last? And how much worse would this curse affect him?

Then again, his latest stunt was worse enough as it were. He was still left somewhat shaken of not just the idea he could use Kiran, but just how much Kiran had him at his mercy. Had the summoner thought to do something else to him otherwise, he'd…

"Are you still awake…?"

He perked at Kiran's voice. Since the two initially settled, Kiran tucked him up to him by his side, keeping an arm protectively wrapped over him. That same arm shifted to hug him just a little tighter, if only for a moment.

"Are you…? I thought you were asleep…"

"I was. At least, up until you pricked me in the chest…"

With a jolt of horror, Alfonse looked to his hand and realized he absentmindedly gripped Kiran's clothes tight enough that his claw-like nails pinched into Kiran's skin. Nervously, he withdrew his hand completely and let his arm drape over Kiran's stomach, leaving his hand to harmlessly droop just over the summoner's side.

"Sorry…"

He felt Kiran shift just enough to kiss the top of his head. He heard him speak, but the summoner was too exhausted to form much of any words right then. If Alfonse guessed, it was vaguely like he was telling him it was ok. Was it really?

He nuzzled against Kiran's chest while lost in his thoughts. He could feel Kiran rub his hand along his arm in return.

"...I'm not doing enough, am I?" He sulked in Kiran's hold. He could feel the arm rubs immediately stop.

"Is that what's keeping you up?" Maybe. But he felt even more frustrated he was also keeping Kiran up with him.

"I want more." He shifted to loom over Kiran. At first, his resolve was somewhat tested when he was reminded of his rabbit ears drooping on either side of his head and spilling the ends on the summoner's chest, but he wanted to be more open of his feelings. "You shared your feelings with me and you just…  _ knew. _ But when I do it, I end up pushing you away or hurt you more otherwise. How do you know these things? Was I wrong to think it's just something that should come naturally…?"

"Uuuh…" He could see Alfonse's point, and no matter how late it was, he could see his concern as well. Saying that, it  _ was _ still way too late in the night for this, and he was clumsy and unprepared. "Well, yes, and also kinda no?"

He didn't exactly do himself any favors, least of all with the look Alfonse gave him. 

"Maybe I just had more ah… exposure to stuff like that than you do…?" Come on, Alfonse, it was too late for him to come up with a more elegant way to put it than that!

"...What do you mean?" And yet, all he did was concern the prince more than reassure him.

"It's uh…" He loved Alfonse, and he wanted to calm him enough to get a good night's sleep while there was still hope yet, but he wasn't quite so out of it as to slip mention of hentai, and he was far from ready to explain such all night long in ways that wouldn't just come back and bite him in the ass more. 

Unfortunately, Alfonse stared hard into him, clearly waiting for an answer. There would be no escape from this. At least nowadays he learned to be more mindful of his words  _ before _ screwing up.

"Remember how when I first came here, I didn't know the first thing about battles or strategies or whatever the hell?" He tried going with the first thing that came to mind when the roles were reversed. Seeing Alfonse hesitate, but visibly give it some thought, Kiran doubled down on it. "I wasn't really exposed to any of that. The only thing close would barely compare. Yet you come up with plans naturally, like with Surtr or Hel. It's a bit like that."

"I see…" Alfonse accepted Kiran's point well enough, but there were still lingering doubts in his tone. "I knew what I must because I was taught such by my parents, especially my father. There was room to adapt from that, and often the need for it came by force, but…"

"Uh… yeah… Right..." But while Kiran  _ tried _ to be calm, he internally begged Alfonse not to question where  _ he _ learned what he knew about sex with Gustav's teachings of combat fresh on Alfonse's mind.

He tensed and braced himself when Alfonse sighed and shifted around more to loom over him. 

"So much like how I was unfair to you to expect you to know so much about combat and tactics right away, this is my turn. And yet, you were so patient with me and tried to help me no matter what I-"

Interrupting his train of thought, Kiran lifted himself just enough to kiss him on the lips before settling back down against the bed. Thankfully, his point was made clear enough, but his insecurities were still too strong for that alone to help.

"I think I just needed to know for sure. Not just with words, I mean… Deep down, I was afraid if this curse got any worse, you would've been the third to…"

His voice weakened and trailed off before he could finish his point. Those memories still ached even if a more cynical part of him wondered if they remembered, let alone dwelled on it nearly as heavily as he had. Even if he loved once before Kiran, he felt deeply burned twice over, and it was the first friend he thought he had that made it so easy for Bruno to be his second.

But even as Kiran would've protested, Alfonse quickly silenced him with a deep, lingering kiss. It wasn't heavy or rough, but he carried it on until he was sure Kiran's point would die on his tongue.

He didn't want Kiran to assure him more he wasn't like them. Not with just his words. He was already trying to keep himself busy with a different idea.

"I want to be sure with more than just words, Kiran. I wanted to feel like no matter what this curse would do to me, that you'd still love me. I know you’ve made your points, and I don’t doubt them completely, but… Would you at least grant me more chances to feel that love in other ways besides just words, too? And more… would you let me return that love to you, too?"

"Ha… I get it. I guess… Alright, sure."

The prince already drifted his hand over Kiran's chest, and as he hooked his fingers under any opening he could find, he gave a light tug that tested out the nearest button to stand in his way.

"But, not like that. Not tonight."

So it left him disappointed and confused when Kiran reached up to grab Alfonse's hand, gently dislodging it from his shirt and shutting Alfonse's attempt down with a gentle kiss to the back of his palm. Flustered, he eased as Kiran tried to coax him to lay back down against him, until he settled again just to his side and partially over him.

"Lately, you've been trying to go way too fast. It doesn't always need to be so heated."

"But if I don't, what if you-"

"I didn't say we can't have those moments still. I just mean you're going to burn yourself out too fast trying to do that all the time."

Kiran shifted the way he held Alfonse's hand. At first, the prince was dreading Kiran's rejection and felt some level of uncertainty in reading more into it. 

But then he noticed Kiran didn't let his hand go. Rather, he shifted so they could lace their fingers together as they held one another's hands. He could feel Kiran nuzzling him at the top of his head as well, and while his mood was still timid, it melted his disappointments away to see a more gentler, calmer approach to all this.

"It felt almost like just yesterday you were uncomfortable enough to do this. It's alright to start a little slower again and work our way up."

And before Alfonse could doubt him, he was taking great strides to convince him otherwise to trust that this was fine. He embraced him, he could feel the intimacy, and he met Kiran kiss for kiss. But at this pace, he felt soothed by just how slow and calm it all was. Maybe they both forgave it for how tired out the two still were, but he relaxed against Kiran's chest and happily nuzzled against him with all the attention.

It took every nerve the summoner had not to point out that he swore he heard Alfonse purr. He did little things from petting along the flow of the fur on Alfonse's ears, to tucking him beside him and rubbing his shoulder. He kept at it until one of them fell asleep, but with how gentle and calm it all was, it was difficult for either of them to tell who fell asleep first, or if they both dozed off at the same time.


	3. Your Own Worst Enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perhaps Alfonse was luckier than he thought. It just took a bit of coercion to convince him to see it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! For post updates, questions, art and general random silliness in between, check me out at eriisaam.tumblr.com for more!

Alfonse tried to hold Kiran to his word: If he was allowed to take things slower and gentler, then he would do just that.

He took his advice and tried to ease into things like holding his hand tightly and cuddling up to him. His first step he took in his slow, steady path back to the level of intimacy that started this all was to sneak gentle pecks to Kiran's cheek or steal direct kisses to his lips as he slipped by throughout the day. The first few times took the summoner by surprise, but it didn't take long for the summoner to eventually catch on and try to meet him into the kisses. A few times, it even attracted an audience who usually giggled or shook their heads otherwise in amusement of the cute, flirty couple, but nobody otherwise protested it.

The next step was Alfonse taking initiative, but this step was made trickier when he didn't entirely follow through. In the heat of the moment, Alfonse would start with gentle pecks and light rubs of his hand over Kiran's, and then work his way toward much stronger, needier kisses that turned pushier and usually ended with him pushing Kiran against a wall, towering over him on the surface of a desk, or in one case, their bed. He would easily get lost in the moment, yet in his haze, still manage to tug Kiran's shirt open by a few buttons, just enough to free up his chest, but usually not enough to aim lower.

And then came the rather unfortunate times where Alfonse inadvertently kept giving Kiran blue balls.

The first few attempts of this, he would usually work Kiran up to a feverish point, but just as Kiran would've been all too happy to strip out of his pants and have at it, he realized Alfonse would suddenly stop, just as soon as the prince had a thought visibly click. He would hesitate, his heart wouldn't quite be in it anymore all of a sudden, and then he'd withdraw, all while apologizing in a weaker voice and suddenly keeping to himself.

"Alfonse…?"

"I-I'm sorry, I… What if it happens again? Back then I… if it were anyone else… I-I don't want to lose control again..."

"Shh, shh…"

It was always some variant of the same point. Back when he had a sudden wave of lust overtake him, the feeling came with barely any warning, and was so intense in the way it took over him that he was vulnerable and near powerless. The general sex didn't scare him. The massaging and fussing Kiran did to him back then had completely sealed Alfonse's trust in the summoner that he was safe with him no matter what. What he feared most was being held hostage by his own body and losing control of himself in a time or place Kiran couldn't save him. But even when Kiran came to his rescue and proved his worth to him the one time it happened, there would still be that what-if sense of dread if Kiran would be just as able to save him next time.

"It'll be ok. Now, you can reach me no matter how far apart we are. And if it happens again, I'll help you through it, ok?"

Every time Alfonse's doubts surfaced, Kiran would tell him the same general promise as well, and with his sincerity and comforts, Alfonse knew he always meant it. He snuggled up beside Kiran in seeking security and comfort beside the summoner, and although the mood would always be spoiled, easing Alfonse's insecurities and fears were more important to Kiran anyways. 

"Kiran… h-help…"

"I'm here. Try to relax now, alright? You're safe, Alf, I promise."

Unfortunately, Alfonse had it happen a few more times roughly dotted throughout the week, and Kiran was held to his promise. Most of the time, he happened to be with him at the time and noticed Alfonse looked flushed and started picking up on his breathing right before the rest of his symptoms began hitting him with full force. The one time he wasn't already with him, Kiran was a text away before hauling ass straight from where he was, only to burst into their room to help his aching, pained prince.

And yet every time, no matter how much his body tried to force him to lure anyone near him into trying to mount him, Kiran would snap him out of his daze and frenzy by easing his tense, swollen hole, and rub him with vulnerary along his cock until he could release his painful, pent up tension. While Alfonse was left harshly gasping for air in between pained moans and whimpers, Kiran would soothe him with kind words and a protective embrace, coaxing him to rest in full. 

Eventually, to Alfonse's massive relief, he went through days of anxious worrying before he and Kiran realized his weird symptoms were no more. Something about his scent began smelling sweeter and creamier, like a far more buttery caramel than before, but as the two anxiously bided their time, Alfonse seemed free of such torments, and Kiran began coaxing him to try to relax.

It unfortunately didn't change Alfonse's habit of blue-balling Kiran, however. At least, not at first.

He started rearranging their bed, but did so in small steps in between the times Alfonse had a break to himself or in between his flareups otherwise. If Kiran had to guess, he vaguely recalled seeing things not quite as he left them whenever he remade the bed around the time after Alfonse changed back to his human form for the first time since fully turning into a taguel. He only just now paid enough mind to notice that Alfonse was up to something with their bed when he was no longer constantly fearing the looming threat of a flareup, and thus had much more uninterrupted time to work on it. Any attempt on Kiran's part to change anything beyond the immediate sheets was met with a surprisingly hurt stare that made Kiran think twice to undo Alfonse's pillow arrangement, and also taught him how to change the sheets with regards to keeping the pillows intact. 

By the time Alfonse settled down of his fussings, Kiran was left with some kind of pillow fort that he accepted would probably be a permanent fixture of their bed from now on. Seeing the way Alfonse beckoned him in with a highly expectant look all but confirmed it to him… 

Although… being inside, it seemed more like a burrow or a nest of some sort. Or maybe Kiran was just overthinking it.

"Ah… it is rather silly, isn't it… I apologize, I'm not really sure what came over me…" When the realization hit, it struck hard. He was almost tempted to try to dismantle it, but the thought hurt, and it showed on his face far too obviously that Kiran was quick to hush such thoughts away by pulling him closer into a hug.

“If it’s what you want, I don’t see a problem with it. It’s kinda warm and cozy.”

And in spite of Alfonse’s attempts to hold himself back, it was also just as obvious to the summoner how much this burrow seemed to mean to him, and how heavily relaxed he was at the assurance, even if it made getting too intimate inside of it fairly tricky.

So they started getting intimate elsewhere.

They were also learning why they didn’t try that before when the first few times, Alfonse tried to sweep Kiran off his feet (literally and figuratively), but frightened Kiran the first time and dropped him against a wall in his own surprise. Their second attempt led to him accidentally leaning against Kiran against a door and shoving both of them into someone's room. And while trying to work Kiran up in the Aether Resort in the hot springs at Camilla's suggestion, Kiran nearly fell asleep in the springs.

But dammit, Alfonse wasn't about to give up!

No longer hindered by his flareups, no longer feeling anxious and unsettled about building a burrow, and in feeling just a little braver again in the face of so many unfortunate false-starts, Alfonse snatched a kiss from Kiran as usual, but then broke the usual routine by tugging Kiran by his shirt and urging him into a weapons storage room, away from prying eyes. Kiran thought the accidental teasings would’ve been finally over, especially when they didn't trip, didn't throw each other, and Kiran seemed alert enough.

“What?  _ Here?” _ Kiran managed to ask Alfonse in between heated kisses, but the kisses only spiked in intensity. The prince tried to answer more with his kisses than his words, and Kiran simply shrugged and tried to match him kiss for kiss, closing his eyes in the heat of it.

But then just as he thought Alfonse would’ve tried to strip him then and there, Alfonse only seemed to get as far as massaging Kiran’s breasts over his clothes before his kisses suddenly began easing in its strength. Opening his eyes, he met Alfonse’s kisses still, but was somewhat bummed out as the kisses slowly turned gentler, and then stopped entirely as he became oddly aware Alfonse was sniffing at something on his face instead.

“Mn… What did you eat?”

“Hunh…?” Did he hear him right? Of all the things to ask… But then as if on cue, he heard Alfonse’s stomach growl, which flustered Kiran more of whether or not the prince ate properly.

“Do you have any left?” It was an impulsive request, and Alfonse nuzzled Kiran’s cheek with a pleading look in his eyes that Kiran was already hard-pressed to resist anyways, but moreso when Alfonse blinked in realization of what he asked and shook his head with a far more timid look.

“Ah… that is… nevermind.”

Kiran couldn’t help but laugh, but before Alfonse could get the wrong idea, Kiran kissed him at the tip of his nose, to the prince’s surprise.

“If you can wait for an hour or so, I can get some.”

He gently led him out of the storage room, perky, hopeful and as curious as a kitten. Besides the phone Kiran entrusted to him, or Kiran’s recognition and vague explanation of the weapon Breidablik was based on, Alfonse realized, with some guilt, that even after all these years, he was woefully limited on what he could’ve learned about Kiran’s world. There were the times Kiran tried to cook dishes in the mess hall (once he figured out how to do so by Askran cooking conventions), but it still wasn’t quite the same. He especially knew so from the unique scent he caught from Kiran’s breath of what he recently ate, and his stomach wouldn’t stop growling on and off the entire time Kiran led him back to their room before leaving him to go back to his home world. 

In the meantime, Alfonse tried to keep his mind busy with reports he set aside for later, but his attention perked on his phone at all times, especially as Kiran kept him in the loop of where he was and how much closer he was to get the food. Perhaps drumming up the surprise, he never told him what the food specifically was. He was vaguely aware that lately, he’s been hungrier much more often, but he didn’t quite dwell on the thought this time in his curiosity of trying food straight from Kiran’s world, and figured his increase in his appetite was yet another side effect of being a taguel anyways.

When Kiran returned, Alfonse knew about it well before the summoner even reached the door. His attention immediately strayed from his work when the same scent as the one he picked up from Kiran had reached the room well before Kiran himself did, and he was greeted with quite the variety of dishes for dinner, tucked away in bags and containers made of material he couldn’t always recognize, but Kiran brushed off otherwise as something he shouldn’t worry about. Askr wasn’t exactly new to the concept of things like burgers or long, thin cuts of baked potato wedges, but the spices and manner they were cooked were what set them apart from the home-cooked varieties in Askr that left Alfonse intrigued, but also heavily craving for it.

So much so, that he devoured quite a bit of it, and then a few helpings more. It was as if Kiran predicted this, because, to Alfonse’s delight, Kiran had more than enough to keep up with Alfonse until he was full. Kiran didn’t have the heart to tell him he bought so much food because he tried to keep a week’s worth of leftovers between their convoys to tide them over, and Alfonse already ate a quarter of his share of it.

But, dammit, the prince looked so happy for Kiran’s care, and he was in a far cuddlier mood when settling with Kiran compared to how distracted, tired and aloof he was a moment ago, so Kiran found it worth it so long as the prince was healthy.

And that was how Kiran unfortunately started a new routine on his way to and from Askr. It was far from a one-time thing for Alfonse to ask him about the food in Kiran’s world, and it was also far from a one-time thing for Kiran to unfortunately encourage him when he kept falling for Alfonse’s bright-eyed, pleading eyes and timid tone to give in. Even when Alfonse hardly realized half the time what kind of face and tone he was giving Kiran, it delighted him of the sheer variety of different dishes Kiran would bring home, and it helped him feel better to quell his cravings and hunger when what he ate on his own accord in the mess hall weirdly weren’t enough for him.

As flustered as Kiran was about his growing suspicions on Alfonse weirdly starving himself outside of the food the summoner kept sneaking in for dinner, and Alfonse not realizing what kind of impression he left on Kiran to know to correct it, Kiran found the way Alfonse always snuggled up to him afterwards to be more than worth the extra effort.

* * *

But despite the distractions, Alfonse did try to make it up to Kiran anyways. It just took him a little while longer to get there, if not a brief spike of panic or so of not doing enough once the realization sparked he  _ still _ didn't spend much intimate time with Kiran.

As he was already starting to make strides in how bold he dared to be, and he found a time he was in a good mood and brimming with energy, Alfonse was ready. He may have had a few snags prior for a few days now of feeling suddenly so burnt out as to sleep in from time to time, but now he was determined to make a comeback with a vengeance. He just hoped Kiran would forgive him for the chaotic month leading up to it.

He once again led Kiran to him to somewhere private, making sure any attempt to pin him was against an actual wall, and being more surprising in his kisses than the actual attempt to grab and lift the summoner. While he had a brief spike of panic when he pinned Kiran in place and towered over him mid-kiss, he had his strength give out before actually lifting him. Kiran let out a muffled laugh mid-kiss in realizing this, and had a more successful attempt to lift Alfonse up instead, supporting him just enough for the prince to vaguely wrap his legs around Kiran's waist instead. 

So far, so good, and his mind became hazy the more aggressive he grew about strengthening his kiss and then going for Kiran's neck. He vaguely remembered Kiran carrying him onto their couch nearby and dumping Alfonse against the couch's cushions as he loomed over him and returned the favor in going right at the one breast he inadvertently exposed after trying clumsily to undo his shirt, only getting barely halfway through.

" _ Aah~! _ Kiran stop, please…! It hurts…!"

Unfortunately, what used to be an easy place Kiran could work Alfonse up with had lately did the exact opposite. He wasn't sure why, but his pecs had been aching lately with an uncomfortably sore, almost tingly feeling. It was easy enough to try to ignore most of the day, but as Kiran attacked his breast with his mouth a moment ago, it was a sharp prickly feeling that struck his sensitive nerves that were comparable to whenever his foot fell asleep and he had to press all his weight down on it. Immediately, Kiran disengaged and pulled away, noticing Alfonse's breast looked somewhat swollen than usual. He couldn't explain the cause any better than Alfonse could, but the point was still clear.

"Sorry, sorry…!" So his breasts were out of the question then. He could vaguely see Alfonse's other breast just barely threatening to pop out of hiding from his shirt, and noticed it seemed just as swollen, telling the summoner enough not to push his luck to go for the other breast. 

Shrugging off the attempt, he moved on to completely open Alfonse's shirt, having his own ideas of what to do next to make up for it. He felt Alfonse's breaths pick up when Kiran kissed at his chest right between his breasts, and moved down in his trail of kisses on his way down to Alfonse's pants.

However, he only reached as far as Alfonse's lower stomach before taking pause, all while Alfonse was still breathing quickly and heavily in initially not noticing Kiran stop.

Usually, Alfonse's stomach was fairly flat, give or take a slight bloat whenever he just ate, but right in front of Kiran, he noticed how the prince's stomach stuck out a little in a curve that was far more obvious after he stripped him than it was when he was fully clothed.

Guess all the food he kept giving Alfonse might've affected him? Kiran couldn't exactly admit his home world's food was necessarily the healthiest.

"Kiran…?" As Alfonse's breaths were slowly starting to calm, he was confused of why Kiran stopped all of a sudden. But he was quick and easy to work up again when the summoner rubbed at his sides, just above his hips in massaging the curve of the prince's stomach. Whatever the case, he didn't comment on it. His Alfonse was his Alfonse and that's all Kiran cared about.

And his Alfonse wanted much more, and grew impatient enough in him to lean up and kiss him while holding the kiss as long as he could. Even if Alfonse was too sore to let Kiran touch his breasts, he wasn't shy to grope Kiran's, and when Kiran showed too much hesitation to have his way with him, Alfonse urged Kiran to roll over so he could take charge instead.

Except he forgot they were on the couch at the time, and instead, he coaxed Kiran to roll too far to the side as to completely fall out, taking Alfonse down with him. As both of them yelped, Kiran fell onto his back while Alfonse crashed on top of him and forced air out of Kiran on impact.

"Gods…! Are you alright?"

Not again, dammit!

As flustered as Kiran was, he laughed at the stunt. As worried as Alfonse was, he also laughed, if very weakly, but nuzzled his cheek to Kiran's hand when the summoner tried to cup his cheek.

"Haha~ It's alright. Remember what I said? C'mere."

He tried. He really, honestly tried to go back to where they left off. Unfortunately, he nearly ruined it in his hesitance and worry, but while he was on top of him, Kiran tried to coax him to toy with a new position. Through his coaxing, his guidance, and some level of laziness on Kiran's part against getting up, Alfonse mounted Kiran while the summoner was erect, partially taking charge like he wanted, but feeling highly clumsy and insecure the whole time of having to be led to this position in the first place, and wound up losing heart far sooner than Kiran did, even when trying to make an earnest effort to hold himself back until Kiran came first.

Not to mention, the way Alfonse was positioned when he finally released had unfortunately taught Kiran why they probably should've planned this position better.

For the next few days, Alfonse was right back to square one of shying away from his lover in his guilt and shame of the act, no matter Kiran’s reassurances.

* * *

Unable to make much of any progress to get Alfonse to open up to him again, Kiran was reluctant, but left him to head back to his world as usual. When he couldn't make much progress to get Alfonse to open up to him directly, he tried to trust the prince that he would still reach him by text if something came up.

The first instance he was proven wrong of such was when a tempest trial opened up, and Alfonse immediately took charge in deploying a team of heroes he gathered to take on the tempest's heart, all without telling Kiran anything of it. The second was what happened right after.

He looked up from catching his breath after narrowly avoiding a fire blast from a mage. Before the mage could try again, the mage was shot down before the magic could materialize properly. Following the path of the arrow, Alfonse looked over with a thankful glance and a quick wave toward Lyn, who waved back.The rest of the party swept through what little opposition remained, and while the prince didn’t quite sweep up work with the tempest trial in its entirety like Kiran always would, he at least did half of it for him.

“Alfonse!”

And just as he and his party wrapped up the last bout he felt he could handle, even if everyone else still seemed alert and rearing to go, Kiran approached him. Any other time, Alfonse would’ve openly embraced him and snatch a kiss again, but after that incredibly shameful display, he hesitated to even look his summoner straight in the eye.

“Ah, you’re back early.” He was relieved, but his tone was half-hearted. He could feel how hurt Kiran looked, which fed into his guilt and brought the prince closer. 

This was dumb. This was silly. He felt ashamed, but was it worth pushing his lover away over it? He wasn’t quite ready to kiss Kiran yet, but he embraced him, and the longer he held it, the tighter his hug of the summoner was.

“Why are you so cold..?” Alfonse knew he deserved it, but it didn’t make Kiran’s tone any less painful. 

“I’m sorry…” His own tone was meek in return. His excuse was growing weaker by the instant. He could feel Kiran reach below and rub him along his sides, which Alfonse didn’t think much over. Given how much he tried to be much more open and public in his affections lately, and initiated much of the earlier attempts, it was only fair.

“You’re quite cruel, Alfonse…” Kiran’s pain was still strong in his tone, and his words stung as Alfonse realized he went too far in how he reacted. He was vaguely aware of how Kiran moved one of his hands directly over the curve of his stomach and rubbed against it and the surface of his clothes hiding it. Alfonse wanted to apologise, and he was just about ready to as he opened his mouth to speak.

“And right after the little gift I gave you, too. You really  _ are _ such a terrible prince…”

“What are you talking about…?” He suddenly felt a chill run down his spine. 

He knew how Kiran would’ve been when he really, truly hurt his feelings. He remembered quite vividly of how Kiran caught on to how hesitant he was to get too close to the summoner as to refuse to call him by name, instead, calling him just 'Summoner'. Kiran was quick back then to dismiss Alfonse's halfhearted shows of concern, snap at him to leave him alone, and storm off on him when the summoner realized Alfonse did so on purpose. All because he didn’t want to see him as more than just an asset to Askr. 

Alfonse remembered that memory quite vividly, because in his blind, pained selfishness, he very nearly lost someone who really, truly loved him more than he could ever deserve. And even when Kiran had every right to call him out for being cold, selfish, and needlessly antagonizing to him for things that weren’t even his fault, he never directly called him out on it.  _ That _ was for Alfonse’s own guilt to do, and that realization is what helped stopped him right before it was far too late.

He shoved the summoner off of him and stood his ground.

“Now prince, is that any way to treat your boyfriend?” Kiran held a much harsher tone in his words, but by then, Alfonse didn’t fall for it. Given the shift, ‘Kiran’ probably realized that, too.

_ “Don’t.” _ Alfonse’s own tone strengthened. He hadn’t realized it, but his teeth sharpened just a little, and he sprouted fangs before he could fully help himself. “Stop trying to pretend, Loki.”

“Hmm~ My, quite the feisty little one as always, prince. So I suppose it shouldn’t be much of a surprise how little time you’ve wasted to take advantage of your new perks.” At least Loki gave up in her act of pretending to be Kiran enough to reveal her true form, but Alfonse was nerves away from showing his own ‘true’ form as his outrage grew.

“So it was  _ you!” _ He outright growled his words out, but Loki thought very little of it. As usual.

“You’re welcome, dear.” And if anything, she acted as if Alfonse was gushing to her instead. 

“Do you really expect me to thank you for this?! It’s because of you that I’ve hurt Kiran so much!”

_ “Is _ it my fault? Truly?” She looked surprised, but Alfonse knew much of it was an act. If anything, his annoyance of such had delighted her more. “Your friend Panne didn’t seem to share the same problem. Seems rather unfair to blame me for your lack of self-restraint, wouldn’t you say?”

He growled more. A literal growl. He unfortunately proved her right with such a feral display that maybe he wasn’t quite as able to control himself as he wanted to believe.

“And you  _ certainly _ didn’t seem to complain about the fun you had with your little summoner. Does he know yet?”

“What are you talking about? Is there more to this so-called ‘gift’ beyond turning me into a rabbit? Is this not enough for you?!”

But then Alfonse noticed the way Loki seemed concerned. He couldn’t honestly tell if this was an act that was much more convincing than usual, or exaggerating whatever legitimate concern was there, but he took pause in seeing her shake her head at him like a disappointed parent.

“My, you poor little thing… Do you mean to tell me that you don’t know?”

“About what?” Was this just another trick? His patience grew thinner.

“Why, about the fact you’re pregnant, of course.”

His glare sharpened. She  _ was _ playing with him, surely. 

“Doubt me all you like, dear, but did your little rabbit friends not tell you about omegas?”

He hesitated to protest. Of all the things Panne shared, he remembered quite clearly that, other than the tells of scents and which scent meant what coming from each specific dynamic, she didn’t. Like it or not, Loki had his attention.

“Such a silly little thing, but an interesting one among the more beastly Heroes, wouldn’t you say? An omega is perfectly adept to save an entire population if they so pleased, and with hardly any trouble like any other life in all these worlds. An alpha would’ve all but secured such an explosion in such little time with an omega, but… I suppose even the gods can’t plan for such an unpredictable force like the summoner.”

_ “You leave him out of this.” _ Yet again, Alfonse couldn’t help but growl, not realizing the fingertips of his gloves were threatening to rip as his claws were starting to come through in his anger. 

“Oh, don’t be like that, little prince. Alpha or not, he’s ever the resourceful one. After all, he wasted very little time to knock you up all the same. I suppose there’s more hope for the taguels yet, wouldn’t you agree?”

“And is that your idea of being helpful?! Putting it all on us?! Kiran gave you the benefit of the doubt when you joined the order, but you hadn’t changed at all!”

But she also clearly got through to him as well. He may have been outraged at what she could’ve done to Kiran and  _ did _ do to Alfonse himself, but he was focused on his anger to try to distract his mind from other facets of this whole ordeal. His steps seemed uncertain, his breathing picked up a little, and Loki knew she struck a nerve of the reality of his condition. When she walked closer to him, he’d try to step away, but gradually held a hand over his stomach as if shielding it from her. Such a silly prince…

“Hmph… How ungrateful. I try to help your friend’s species get a little nudge in their population, and I do so while giving you just the tool to do so fairly painlessly no less. And yet, you still think of me as your foe… What a tragic case of selfishness. It’s just like that kind of attitude that nearly pushed that poor summoner right out of this world-”

_ “Shut up. Just  _ **_shut up._ ** _ You know nothing of it!”  _

He couldn’t take it anymore and snapped. With the thought of Loki trying to endanger Kiran despite the latter’s show of good will to extend an olive branch, he couldn’t further handle Loki trying to pretend she somehow knew enough about the source of his distrust or his guilt of nearly losing Kiran time and again to lecture him of it. 

But he only had to let his guard down just a little before Loki sprang her attack.

He barely even saw her move. She was approaching him from the front, but in a blink of an eye, she somehow appeared right behind him.

He felt her strike him in the back with a blast of magic he couldn’t escape from. Beyond the sting and burn from the impact, he already felt his body heat up and turn on him. He felt a metallic taste in his mouth and a wave of nausea overtake him. He felt it harder to breathe, to a point he struggled to force his breaths. He felt like his body couldn’t decide if he was suddenly far too hot or if he was freezing up, and in trying to cope figuring it out, he was shivering. While his legs buckled and gave out under him, Loki briefly held onto him while leaning up to whisper in his ear.

“I can see how the summoner tamed you then. I guess I’m not the only one who has to keep people in line with a little fear every now and again. Especially people like you who have to lose a little before they learn to appreciate what they have.”

“What’re you… what did you do to me…?” He felt himself losing his energy by the second. He tried to fumble to take his sword, but his arms felt weak, and the sword felt heavy enough to drop before he could turn on her.

“Maybe after a day of feeling what it’s like without your perks as an omega to cover for you,  _ then _ you’ll learn to appreciate my kindness more.”

He couldn’t keep standing anymore, but even as he was slipping, he only stayed up because Loki forced him up. 

“How long do you think you can keep stringing that summoner along? How long would it take before one day, he simply disappears without a word? That’s how you lost that hero before that Emblan prince, isn’t it?”

She wasn’t just pushing his buttons, she was outright stomping on them. And despite his efforts, he dry heaved faster than he could protest.

He was different.  _ He was different. _ Alfonse  _ knew _ this. He’s spent years knowing how Loki operates by then.  **_He was different._ **

“Hmhm… Well… I suppose congratulations are in order for the baby. It’s quite refreshing to see a lovely little couple not pay so much mind to those silly little superstitions about marriage first, isn’t it?”

Alfonse tried to break free, but he could barely move out of Loki’s grip by himself. It took Loki letting go of him to let him willingly drop to the ground as he collapsed, feeling too weak and sick right then to get up. He tried so hard to believe she was lying, but while he was fighting with his own thoughts, she paid him little mind as she abandoned him with his sword and left him all on his own.

**_He was different. Kiran was different from them._ ** _ He  _ **_had_ ** _ to be different.  _ He wasn’t going to do the same thing, he… he couldn’t… 

But he was so tired… And Kiran wasn’t there… The world blurred around him before he could reach for his sword or even come close to opening his convoy, let alone retrieve his phone. His voice cracked as he barely breathed out Kiran’s name before he blacked out.

* * *

“Kiran!” 

He already felt concerned as it was when he checked on his phone, only to be met with utter silence on Alfonse’s part after an average of a hundred or so messages a day. Even in the time Alfonse suddenly turned shy on him, he still got some short, frank messages over complete silence otherwise. He didn’t even bother try to grab food on his way back. It would make Alfonse wait a bit longer, but Kiran wanted to be sure he was fine before thinking to possibly rush back out again to get more food.

“H-he… Please, come with me, Kiran!”

He was outright panicking when Sharena caught him, and was in far from her usual, cheerful mood. In fact, she was on the verge of tears, and she wasted very little time to grab Kiran by the wrist and rush him off to a path he quickly recognized was on the way to the infirmary. The only thing keeping Kiran from showing his panic outwardly was in a desperate attempt not to freak Sharena out more, and he quickened his pace to keep his pace in line with hers as the two almost raced to get to the infirmary.

His heart sank when he saw Alfonse laying down in a bed in one of the rooms, stripped out of his armor, but not out of the clothes he would’ve normally worn underneath them. 

He was incredibly pale and weak. Anna and Bruno was at his bedside already, but he initially looked like he was asleep at the time and barely focused on either of them while they clearly worried for him. Anna gently squeezed his hand while Bruno visibly used his magic to check on the sickly prince, focusing on his head and chest at the time.

Kiran couldn’t hide his panic anymore in the way his words clumsily tumbled out to ask what happened, horrified of the sight. He heard little things here and there that Alfonse took on a tempest trial by himself, seemed fine afterwards, only to be found in a far worse condition all on his own compared to how he was the last time he was seen prior to his collapse. 

As much as Anna and Sharena dragged Kiran away in another room to go over what happened and how, Bruno lingered his hand to check Alfonse’s chest, then lower at his stomach when Alfonse’s clothes wouldn’t smooth out properly and hinted to his bump. He only rested a hand on it to check for a moment before he was stunned at how Alfonse tried to lift his hand to grab Bruno’s wrist, weakly attempting to push him off.

“Don’t...d-don’t... Please…” Alfonse stirred enough to look up, seeing Bruno loom over him, but was still very sickly, barely focused, and had tears trickle along his eyes. Bruno focused his magic just enough to make him take pause of what he saw, but only had a brief glance on it when he moved his hand off more for Alfonse’s peace of mind than because the Askran prince could move him.

“Alfonse, what happened to you? How on earth are you even preg-?”

“Don’t tell… please don’t tell… N-not now...”

To have Bruno confirm it only did more harm than good. It was painfully clear to Bruno this much, but not of why. He was oblivious of all the seeds of doubt and fear that Loki planted in Alfonse’s mind, which only took root faster when Bruno inadvertently confirmed Loki right over his condition.

“Alfonse… You need to-”

“Please…”

And worse, there was nothing he could do of it. If he were to out Alfonse, he could’ve made the situation worse, especially when he had little idea of what was going on between Alfonse and Kiran that would make Alfonse want to hide something so bizarre yet important as a pregnancy. To see Alfonse so desperate had also brought back memories when Alfonse’s fears ran deep right then, and the Askran prince was deeply insecure of something again. Push him any further, and he might crack.

Bruno sighed. He moved his hand to take Alfonse’s and gave it a gentle squeeze, worrying for the prince and trying to reassure him as a friend. There were times he still wondered of what could’ve been, but now wasn’t the best instance to dwell on it.

“I will leave it as your news to tell then. Get rest and heal.” The best he could do was take advantage of his credibility as a healer to keep other healers from focusing on Alfonse’s baby to keep his secret otherwise, but he hoped Alfonse knew what he was doing of it.

Alfonse tried to force himself to stay awake, even as Bruno left his side, and then left the infirmary altogether. Even when he knew Anna, Sharena and Kiran were in another room nearby, he was left still anxious and terrified, especially as his sudden hoard of illnesses made it harder for him to cope.

So even for such a short distance apart, Alfonse’s mind went to work against him. 

Loki was right. He was pregnant. Thinking back to how certain things felt back when he and Kiran were able to be intimate without causing some mayhem or another, it all made sense to him of how it came to be, even if it was far from an outcome he could ever predict would happen. (Then again, the same could be said of a lot of things he and Kiran lived through…)

So if she was right on that much, what else was she also right about? Once she got her foot in that door, it took little for his anxieties to take that much and run wild with it, and she probably arranged it all exactly for that purpose.

But even if he could rationalize it and see the plan for exactly what it is, that didn’t make it any easier to avoid falling for it.

Why weren’t they more careful? Then again how would they know to be careful for something like  _ this? _ He knew he was so out of his element with all this that he probably wouldn’t know where to begin even if he tried, but then he still drilled himself that if he was just  _ a bit more careful _ , or if he did just  _ a little more research _ or just did  _ a little more effort _ or  _ whatever, _ maybe he wouldn’t be huddled up in bed, feeling like death, all with a child he didn’t know how to approach Kiran about. He could practically hear Gustav’s voice reaming him over how he was just some impulsive child as always who jumps into things before he thinks. All his experiences to the contrary were too drowned out over the voice in his head who took command of him otherwise.

And what of Kiran? How long would he truly be fine with everything before he finds the  _ one _ thing he wasn’t? How long could he go, making him feel like everything would be ok, right before reaching what would’ve been his last straw? What if  _ this _ was his last straw?! Especially when he was well aware he hadn’t exactly been fair to Kiran lately.

He sobbed, but immediately regretted it. The sob was just enough to tickle his throat and made him cough, and the reflex of the cough was harsh enough to set his already sensitive gag reflex off that he dry heaved again. Dammit, was he not even allowed to cry?! As if he didn’t feel immense guilt to break down crying in the first place! He was an utter mess of wanting so many things his body violently tried to take away from him. He was thirsty and dehydrated, but even his own saliva was enough to sour his stomach and gag. He was starving, but the thought of any food to come to mind, combined with the metallic taste in his mouth, left him too scared to even be in the same room with food, let alone to eat it. He was too scared to tell Kiran anything, but while he wanted to cry out for the summoner, his voice was weakened and cracked, and he already found it difficult to breathe. He was exhausted, his stomach was hurting and aching in ways he wasn’t sure how to describe, he couldn’t decide what the temperature of the room was and to which extreme his body rebelled against it, and he was utterly drenched with sweat.

He looked like hell. He felt like hell. He probably drove Kiran up the wall that made their entire relationship go to hell. He may have been utterly ashamed of himself in a whole variety of ways, but…

But he really wanted Kiran.

He  _ needed _ Kiran with him...

Even just for one more selfish moment, he wanted his summoner so damn much…

“Shh… Alf… please don’t cry… You’re already so dehydrated…”

He slowly opened his eyes. His vision blurred briefly with his tears, and he felt a pounding headache that kept him from sleeping even if he wanted to. 

A part of him was glad he hadn’t, however, because when he was able to focus again, his heart pounded more when he realized Kiran was by his side again. Kiran held his hand to his overheated forehead and tried to wipe away the tears, even when they simply reformed as quickly as Kiran tried to wipe them. He wanted to listen to Kiran, but he couldn’t help it, and the summoner fortunately knew.

“Kiran....” His voice croaked so bad, it utterly betrayed his normal voice. It only served to make the sight of him that much more painful to the summoner. All this time, Alfonse was so out of it that he didn’t even realize that Kiran pulled a chair to settle by his bedside, likely for the rest of the day. 

“Try and relax, Alf. I’ll be here to help you with the healers.”

It was painful. While Alfonse was slipping further down in the hole his intrusive thoughts dug, Kiran saw how dim Alfonse’s once radiant eyes turned in seeing a reflection of how much the prince suffered inwardly just as he was outwardly. The last time he saw Alfonse so pale, so sick, and breaking by the seams as he was, it was when Hel tried to kill him with her decree as Lord of the Dead. The sight didn’t get any less painful even to see him get sick or hurt to a fraction of that degree again.

Alfonse weakly nuzzled his cheek into Kiran’s hand when given the chance to reach it. He remembered that time, too. He remembered he was just as foolish in putting himself in that position, yet for the second time, he completely failed to realize he wasn’t nearly at fault as he heavily convinced himself. Last time, Hel ambushed him and took him by surprise, yet his mind was long poisoned enough to rationalize for himself how it was clearly him asking for it. This time, he was just at the edge of doing the same. 

But… with how Kiran was fussing over him, from the way he padded his face with a soft cloth, to the way he kissed him and comforted him, he caught the prince just before he could fully commit to shouldering that blame again.

“Alf, lean against me, will you? Please drink this. Just one sip at least. I know it’s hard, but please Alf, do it for me. You’re strong... I believe in you. You can do it…!”

He remembered this, too. Back then, when he was doomed to die as Hel decreed, Gustav already wrote him off as a lost cause for much of that time, no doubt to make him dwell on his greatest mistake. Kiran was treating him with the same tenderness and care as back then. He shared the bed with him. He helped him sit up and lean up against him for leverage. He helped him drink a shot-glass worth of vulnerary with a glass cup Kiran kept in his convoy then that he still had now. And just like back then, when drinking it made his heavily sore throat and chest burn with the sensitivity of the curse, he had to fight a strong wave of nausea and disgust for a drink he normally held no strong opinion of, but willed himself to keep down. He wanted more than anything to live up to Kiran’s unwavering faith in him, even in his weakened state..

“That’s good… That’s my Alf. Thank you.”

Kiran held him close. It was just like before, too. But while this time, what threatened Alfonse’s health was a full day of suffering a cocktail of illnesses to try to survive through, last time, he remembered how Kiran helped shower him with his tender love and comforts for him, but also shared a side to him elsewhere that week and a half he rarely showed to anyone else. Everyone thought of Kiran as somewhere between the little brother that was easy to warm up to and protect, to the village idiot that people sympathized and tried to steer in the right direction out of care or pity. But after Gustav’s callous treatment he saw toward Sharena and him, Kiran was the loudest, crudest, vicious spitfire whom Gustav’s status as king did very little to shield from his wrath.

Alfonse laughed, if very weakly. He regretted it when he hiccuped uncomfortably from the laugh triggering his throat, but he couldn’t help it. In retrospect, when Gustav tried to approach him and open up to him about the old tree branch, it was after Kiran blew up on him. A part of him wondered if Gustav threw himself to protect him because of gaining perspective from that.

“Ha~ It’s already helping a little, I guess~”

He felt Kiran kiss him in the forehead as he perked at the laugh, even if it went completely over his head about why Alfonse tried to laugh, or what he was even thinking about. Even when Gustav paid with his life for him, it was Kiran who helped bring him back. He wasn’t the only one who Kiran tried to use his power of summoning to help. His entire role as a summoner was to save lives or bring families, friends and lovers back together no matter how cruelly their fates tore them apart. But to have him do the same to summon Gustav, even with Kiran’s misgivings, Alfonse could never be certain what to do repay such a debt even then, nor know if he ever fully showed him his gratitude for how much the summoner tried to right his wrongs. To say nothing of Lif, likewise…

“It’ll be ok… Try to rest, alright?”

“Please… stay…”

“I will, I will. I’m here with you, Alf.”

He still felt terrible, but having Kiran beside him and care for him helped him try just a little harder to harden his will. Just enough to settle beside Kiran’s chest and hear his heartbeat. Maybe it was the vulnerary somewhat easing the intensity of his symptoms, but maybe, it was having Kiran to himself that helped him even more to put him at ease. He barely thought of it, but he eventually took Kiran’s hand in his own, and the summoner willingly moved it where Alfonse wanted him when his strength was still too weak to do so by himself. He didn’t quite understand why Alfonse brought his hand just below the prince’s stomach, but when he had Kiran’s hand at the curve, Alfonse kept his hand over his to hold him in place, and he’ll be damned if he was going to take his hand away from Alfonse’s hold right then. He was even less inclined to take his hand away when he managed to soothe the prince just enough to help him doze off against his chest, still leaned up against him and cementing him in place on the bed.

To Kiran’s relief, the healers only cared to monitor Alfonse’s health or heal him otherwise, focusing only on Alfonse’s temperature, head, chest, or his general health while leaving his stomach alone, especially at Bruno’s request, and Kiran’s hand being in the way. He knew, had it been a hospital like the ones in his world, he was breaking so many rules for hogging part of the bed from the unconventional ways he knew to ease Alfonse as he had.

“A-ah, Kiran, how is-”

“Shhhh (he’s fine, but please keep it down.)”

“(A-aww, he looks so relaxed~ What a relief…)”

Give or take trying to hush Sharena and Anna into a softer, whisper-like tone when the two would visit every so often. Thankfully, they tried not to make him stir. It was enough to see him alive and recovering without needing to grab his attention.

He was stubborn of sticking with Alfonse’s side, and caught a few times Alfonse seemed to outright dream of Kiran leaving him that he had to ease him from. To Kiran’s dismay, Alfonse proved too sick to properly eat, and for what he could keep down, Kiran stressed on having him drink shots of vulneraries every so often just to keep him sustained enough to make up for his lack of water or food. Not exactly the healthiest approach, but it was better than nothing. He was so distracted with Alfonse that he barely realized he skipped eating the rest of the day as well, and by the time he vaguely realized, he was way too tired to care to change that.

“Please stay…”

“Shh, go to bed, Alfonse.”

Screw it. He could just eat a bigger breakfast in the morning. He stayed this long, and he remained stubborn to sleep with Alfonse well into the night.

* * *

When Alfonse stirred, he stiffened up and had to will himself to wake up in full. He no longer felt deathly ill, and he could guess it was the several shots of vulnerary Kiran stubbornly fed him all throughout the day that helped his stomach settle when healers focused on everything else, but he wasn’t completely done yet. Even when he managed through the severe wave of illnesses that wracked his body, he was still left aching all over his body, dizzy and weak from dehydration and starvation, and much more tired in waking up than he did when he fell asleep.

He fully expected Kiran to leave him, much as he hated it. He had to go to his world eventually for his work, right? It was probably around that time, even if Loki’s words still hung over his head. He tugged at what he initially thought were loose bedsheets to settle in with beside his blanket, forgetting about his surroundings even if he felt bare for the lack of his burrow’s pillow walls.

He snapped awake when he felt an arm grab his shoulder, and it occurred to him that in his sleepiness, not only did he somehow fail to realize he was still sleeping on top of Kiran, but the sheets he was tugging was actually part of his coat he clumsily tried to bury himself in, to less than successful results.

“Kiran… are you sure…?” 

Even when Kiran woke up as well, he still didn’t leave. Alfonse hesitated of being so selfish as to keep him with him, but his heart fluttered at the thought of him staying again. He perked when Kiran nodded.

“At least until I’m sure you’ll be fine, alright?”

“Kiran…” 

He wasn’t having any of it. He kissed Alfonse before he could think to protest deeper of it, and that was that. 

When Alfonse held him to that offer, the only time Kiran left his side was to straighten himself out, or to gather things otherwise, particularly food. Even so, Kiran rushed back every time, and he fussed over him when he returned to ease him back to normal. Without his illnesses holding him back anymore, Alfonse wanted to eat and drink anything he could grab, yet reluctantly listened to Kiran when the summoner held him back. As confused and frustrated as Alfonse was, he was stopped just in time for him to realize how much his throat and stomach struggled just to swallow even the small sips or bites worth that Kiran allowed. If he acted otherwise - tempting as it was - he would've worsened the pain if not outright make himself nauseated all over again. 

So he followed Kiran's cue of how much to take in and when. He hated being so weak and helpless, yet Kiran was stubborn to hold his hand (literally and figuratively) the whole road to recovery.

He never knew how Kiran knew of all these things… He was so tight-lipped of his life outside of Askr even still. But however Kiran knew these things, he was grateful for his help, and it made him try harder to get well sooner.

...Although… Alfonse realized this was a fairly familiar attitude he showed before. It was like the time he realized how much he fell behind on his strength compared to other heroes, only for Kiran to pick him up when he fell, and encouraged him while guiding him to other duties he was better suited with. Against himself, against Bruno, against Hel, his father, other heroes… Kiran stubbornly refused to let him give up. In this case, he was eventually rewarded for his efforts when Alfonse was well enough to leave the infirmary, but had to lean on Kiran for support to go back to their room again, and Anna and Sharena both agreed that he shouldn't be on active duty anymore for the next few days out of precaution.

Maybe he was too quick to take in Loki's words. As Kiran left his side to the mess hall to bring him dinner for the two of them, he laid beside the looser pillows deep inside his burrow while letting the tips of his fingers brush along where the curve of his stomach began. Given how underweight he still was while still trying to recover the rest of the way, the bump was even more prominent than he liked, and he couldn't help but notice Kiran clearly saw it, but looked almost scared at the sight. He knew it was a bit farfetched for Kiran to suddenly come up with pregnancy as the cause, but… that look of fear didn't inspire confidence to tell him either…

Maybe he could play his cards carefully…

"I'm back! I got soup. It might be easier on you."

"Ah, thank you."

He moved his way closer to the outer edge of the burrow just as Kiran pulled a table closer and brought the bowls of soup out from his convoy. Alfonse tried to bide his time for a good opening, but the numerous longer, drawn out instances the two ate in silence left him hesitating. Nevertheless, he tried to press through.

"Kiran, I'm sorry for all of this…"

"Don't worry about it."

As much as Alfonse tried to break the silence, even with a less than confident tone, he almost wondered if Kiran was being so frank because he was annoyed at him and trying to hide it. 

No, surely not. (He hoped.)

"Do you remember what happened, Alf?"

But even if he was glad Kiran broke the silence as well, he hesitated at the question. He tensed outright to a point it only concerned Kiran more, especially when he didn't initially answer.

He wanted to tell the truth, and he owed Kiran that much, but he worried less about telling Kiran, and more of what the summoner would do. 

"Alf…?"

He was happy Kiran would care for him so much to defend him no matter the foe. However, people like Hel showed him the lengths Kiran would've gone to do it, and how much he would disregard his own safety whenever he got that heated and fierce. In hindsight, that also was probably why Kiran refused to hold back against Gustav, kinghood be damned.

"Alfonse, what's wrong? Please tell me…"

"I'm afraid I don't remember anything before waking up in the infirmary… I'm sorry…"

So he knew that if he told Kiran the truth, he wouldn't hesitate to rush straight to Loki and try to confront her. As if he wasn't put at risk enough as it were for her initial attack that missed him, Alfonse dreaded the thought of essentially sending him marching straight to her to finish the deed. He tried to pretend he struggled with the memory while trying his best to protect his lover from the same fate he himself already fell for, and to his relief, Kiran bought the act.

"I see…  _ I'm _ the one who should be sorry, Alfonse, I should've been here sooner…"

"Don't be, Kiran. Please. You had your own duties to your world as it is, and you had no way of knowing either." He tried to distract further away from the subject and leaned up enough to kiss him on the cheek. "And you did more than enough. More than I could ever ask for, even."

He clearly didn't look like he believed him, but he also didn't press the subject further, especially as Alfonse still tried to encourage him more. At least  _ that _ he felt confident to admit.

"Ah, the festival for brides and grooms are coming soon, huh." In his own way, Kiran tried to change the subject. Alfonse couldn't really blame him, but he perked with hope of the opportunity he saw forming.

"Ah, yes. About next month, I think. It's certainly quite the festival, especially the surprise of which couple would attend next." Maybe if he started off just stating his thoughts like always, it could ease Kiran into the more heavier points. 

"Heheh~ It'll be cool to be one of them, huh."

At least, until Kiran's point. 

"Kiran, are you saying you're…?" Like this? Would he  _ really _ propose to him so bluntly and randomly like this? He didn't want to break Kiran's heart to reject him, but did he  _ really _ have to come out of nowhere over something like this?

He wasn't sure whether to be glad, or even more frustrated, when it clicked to Kiran as well, and the summoner panicked trying to take it back.

"I-it was just a thought! Not to say I wouldn't want to with you but… y-you know what I mean…! (Shit.)"

He couldn't help but laugh, but he reached out to gently pat Kiran's shoulder to prove he was fine of it, unfortunate as the subject may.

With his bowl finished, and proving to Kiran his appetite made a strong comeback, Alfonse set the empty bowl on the table while Kiran took a few minutes to follow suit. 

"...Where do you see us in the future, Kiran?"

"Was this because of what I said before? Sorry, ah…" Realizing it was genuinely in Alfonse's thoughts, Kiran felt worse of the earlier clumsiness, but he also noticed Alfonse moving closer and leaning up against his side, focusing on him. He felt almost like he was put on the spot, were it not for how Alfonse seemed so relaxed right then.

Crap, what to say? Alfonse gave him a rather hopeful look, but…

"Well… I should probably get on better terms with your dad, for starters… Or Veronica too… Er, better terms than with Veronica I mean." He already had her keep him on his toes enough as it is, and he didn't want to spurn Gustav to start chasing him down with Glitnir on top of that. 

"What about marriage?" With how Kiran was drifting from the point, he realized he put him on the spot, and he tried to gently lead Kiran to get his answers before Kiran could ramble on in circles from his nervousness. "What about kids- or ah… what about settling?" 

His heart pounded a little harder when he blurted out kids, and he lost heart midway of asking it that his voice faltered a little. He initially felt hopeful when Kiran seemed to brighten up and laugh, but his hopes deflated when the summoner shook his head.

"So it  _ was _ what I said. Heh~ I  _ do _ want to marry you, Alf, but ah… I guess I really should put more thought on how to ask."

"So you were really proposing after all…?"

"No." For how blunt the summoner was, he was also quick to swoop in with a quick, playful peck to Alfonse’s cheek, catching the prince off guard just before he could've fully lost his hopes. "I want to, especially if you want it, but I think I'll keep you on your toes just a little longer about when."

"You're being rather cruel all of a sudden, Summoner." Not really, and his less-than-upset tone unfortunately betrayed him in trying to pretend otherwise. Unfortunately, Kiran simply gave him another peck to the cheek.

"Haha~ But it'll be worth it." And it'll also buy him time to come up with a better plan, ideally.

"Hmph. What about with everything else then?" He didn't want to reward Kiran with kisses, so he gently poked him instead, forcing himself to not only press on, but try not to be too obvious of the effort to conquer his nerves.

"What, kids?  _ Hah! _ We kinda have a handful with heroes like Fae and Ylgr, don't we? I think wrangling those two were more than I can keep up with, let alone to adopt more, haha~!"

"Ah, you… So you don't?" The cracks were starting to form, but Alfonse tried harder to hide them.

"I'm sure  _ you'd _ be an incredible dad, but I can barely parent myself. I'm pretty sure everyone still thinks of me as a kid especially for that."

"I see…" 

His heart sank. He tried to pretend otherwise, but by then it was obvious he was barely able to muster the nerve to pretend it didn't hurt him. His voice was too weak all of a sudden, and his smile wasn't as warm this time.

Kiran blinked. Did kids really mean  _ that _ much to him after all? Then again, Alfonse was royalty, and he knew how much that topic tends to be stressed in light of such, but this seems a bit more personal than just duty forcing their hand. Panicking in seeing the immediate signs, he tried to comfort Alfonse, which just made the prince try even harder to stifle his emotions to painfully obvious degrees.

"Wait, I mean, t-there's always later! We can think about it later down the road maybe!" His kiss to Alfonse's cheek was a little stronger. "It's not like we're in any kind of rush, right?"

"...Yes…" Obviously not. Kiran also noticed Alfonse held his stomach while trying not to look Kiran in the eyes. So it  _ was _ more than just for royalty sake. 

"Alfonse, what's wrong? It's ok to say it." There was no use trying to pretend otherwise if even  _ Kiran _ could see through his worries. Given the last time he saw him like this was when Alfonse barely mustered the nerve to confess his initial attempt to remain distant right before asking to court him, Kiran was already freaked out of what to expect.

"Alfonse please…"

"I- _ I'm omega! _ And because of pregnant they-! And-! No, I meant omegas could baby and-! I-I- can't even-! How much later, I was so stupid why didn't I just stop, I-I…!"

He couldn't hold it in anymore, and in his panic, he blurted out his raw feelings with about as much tact and sense as a bark. It only served to leave Kiran with a heavily confused, baffled look that unfortunately kept feeding into Alfonse's rising panic in trying and failing to be coherent. When Kiran couldn't help his complete utter confusion of what the hell Alfonse was even talking about, Alfonse's nerves worsened to a point he barely even spoke actual words, exasperating the problem. Kiran barely got the gist that Alfonse was trying to warn him that omegas could get pregnant, but beyond that much, he focused more on trying to calm Alfonse down than stress him out more to clarify.

"Maybe we can talk more of it in the morning, but try and rest for now, ok?"

He was utterly defeated, but reluctantly, he nodded in accepting that defeat. He was fearful how much he screwed up, especially when Kiran seemed far from amused, albeit not for the reasons Alfonse's anxieties painted it to be.

Kiran eventually coaxed him deeper in the burrow to try to rest, and despite how much he clearly hated to leave that point where it was, he drifted off to sleep fairly easily from his lingering fatigue.

Kiran, on the otherhand, was left too keyed up to follow suit, much as he tried an honest effort earlier. He was stunned and worried at the earlier outburst, especially when the subject was clearly so sore to Alfonse. He looked over the prince and watched him long enough to see he was truly fast asleep, but before Kiran could try to tuck him in, he noticed, yet again, he was holding his stomach. 

As slow as Kiran was to pick up on certain cues, the gears turned faster than ever after seeing how much it clearly mattered to Alfonse. He tried to gently grab Alfonse's hand to move it, pausing every so often when he thought Alfonse stirred, only to continue to pry his hand off his stomach and move it to get a better look.

He hesitated. Given Alfonse starved before, his first worry earlier was that the bloat to his stomach was a symptom of it, yet Alfonse had otherwise been underweight, but not to such extremes as to lose body mass elsewhere. His thoughts before of thinking he had gotten chubbier from all of Kiran's more fattening food choices from home also fell apart when the curve of Alfonse's stomach remained stubbornly the same, even as the prince had a gentler, lighter diet for quite a while. Thoughts clicked together of the numerous times too he either caught Alfonse covering it with his hand or taking Kiran's hand to hold it otherwise, but why would he

...Oh.

... _ SHIT… _

"Kiran…?"

The summoner froze on the spot otherwise, but he was quick to move his hand away. Alfonse's tone was soft and slurred, and Kiran could see he struggled to keep his eyes open in looking up to him. With a yawn, he proved he wasn't quite awake enough to realize what Kiran was doing.

"Still awake…? Go to sleep soon…" He tried to show his worries, but he himself was painfully obvious how exhausted he was and struggled to stay awake. Nervously, Kiran moved to kiss him on the forehead and go with his earlier plan to tuck them both in.

"I will, sorry. Go back to sleep." His tone, meanwhile, was hasty and skittish, but Alfonse sighed, weakly nodded, and closed his eyes again with little else to add but a strong, slow sigh. 

As much as he got away with it before, when he was sure Alfonse was in a deep enough sleep again, Kiran dared to try again. He felt along Alfonse's body just enough to reach out to the bump again. His panic was making it far from easy to sleep, especially as he started to realize just how scared Alfonse must’ve really been in reading all of his cues again, or the reality sinking in of what it all meant.

He was pretty sure he fainted, rather than fell asleep willingly. He suspected it even moreso when he woke up to Alfonse panicking in struggling to wake him up that morning.


	4. A King's Worth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What do you do when you realize you know nothing of the one you want to spend your life with?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! For post updates, questions, art and general random silliness in between, check me out at eriisaam.tumblr.com for more!

Sharena pouted while staring at Alfonse and Kiran from a distance. More specifically, she was frustrated at  _ their _ distance.

She was pretty sure that they were still together. Or at least, she certainly  _ hoped _ that was still the case. They didn’t seem irritated or even particularly upset with one another, and Sharena would like to think she had a  _ very _ keen eye on when her brother of the two would’ve genuinely been upset, no matter his usual efforts to hide it from others. Granted, there was always the possibility something was wrong, and Alfonse simply didn’t tell her yet, but Sharena tried to be more optimistic than that.

However, she also couldn’t shake off her worries with how rapidly the two changed toward one another. It wasn’t exactly hard to notice earlier how much Alfonse tried to step out of his comfort zone with little shows of affection, or the way he would try to lure Kiran out of sight for reasons she and especially Anna could immediately guess. 

So it made it that much easier to notice that, ever since Alfonse made a full recovery from whatever attacked him badly enough to fall ill and stay in the infirmary, then at home, there was a noticeable distance in the way he would interact with Kiran. They still seemed to have feelings for each other, and she could see the same fond look in his eyes whenever he looked Kiran’s way, but… 

Something happened between them. That look was muted, and almost hesitant now. No matter Kiran’s clear show of trying to get physically close to Alfonse, the prince would hesitate, as if having second thoughts despite a brief glimpse of joy, and as if realizing something only to keep his distance and lose heart. He acted almost as if he was back to holding an uncertain crush on Kiran all over again.

She also wasn’t sure what to think in terms of Kiran. He seemed hopeful, kindly, and had a warm, gentle look toward Alfonse, yet he seemed just as confused when Alfonse would disengage, and he seemed just as deflated as Alfonse was whenever the two would part ways. Did he do something? Then why did he not seem to know? Why did he seem almost as confused as she or Anna were? Kiran seemed to allow it only in a sense he would give Alfonse space whenever he got this way, but the glaring issue was how he got this way in the first place.

“Alfonse, could we talk?”

After seeing this go on for nearly the whole day, and watching how deflated Kiran seemed to be on his way out from their world again, she couldn’t sit idly by anymore. Initially, he hesitated and glanced to Sharena’s direction almost as quickly as he tried to find any excuse he could to look elsewhere. In the moment, his excuse were the reports he gathered up at his desk and tried to sort through, but it was clear his focus wasn’t as sharp as usual when he seemed so lost even to do this much. 

Contemplating it long enough, he looked up to her, willing to give in to the faint hope that maybe what she would’ve asked about wasn’t about Kiran.

“Yes…? What is it, Sharena?”

“It’s about you and Kiran…”

It didn’t take long for that hope to immediately fade away. 

“Ah... Is there anything specific…?” Although his tone was even more weak than initially. He could tell Sharena seemed worried for him, if not both of them, but he was even less shy to hide his discomforts and doubts.

“Did something happen? The two of you have been acting so weird lately, especially you.” 

“No, nothing hap-... it’s nothing…” She could tell right away it was a lie, but something about Alfonse’s tone told her it wasn’t a  _ complete _ lie. She stepped closer even as he seemed even less inclined to open up his thoughts right away.

“Are you two still…?” Did she want to say those exact words? It hurt, and she dreaded it, but was that the cause of this? “I-I mean you two hadn’t otherwise…?”

Surely the two wouldn’t break up, right? Especially not this suddenly? It took a moment for Alfonse to guess what Sharena was trying to imply, but from how immediately sad she was, and how much she visibly tried (and somewhat failed) to hide it, he blinked at her when it dawned on him, and he immediately shook his head.

“Ah- oh, no..! T-that is to say, we’re still together! And things are... they’re… We’re both well.”

It gave her more questions than answers. Sharena could see the way he insisted they were still together without a second thought or hesitance, but the more he tried to clarify, the less confident he seemed in other areas.

Ok. So they were still together. It brought Sharena comfort for that much, and her spirits lifted just a little. But what, then, left Alfonse so uncertain and distant? And why aim it at Kiran, too?

“Oh! That’s good! But…  _ Something’s _ clearly happened. Tell me, will you? Maybe I can help!”

“It’s complicated… And it’s not- ...It’s not important…” There he goes again. He continued to have a moment of wanting to share thoughts he drove himself to dismiss just as quickly as he made them. 

“It’s important to  _ me! Especially _ if it’s upsetting you so much, Alfonse. You’re my brother! Of course I’d worry!”

“Sharena…”

“Please, Alfonse…” Before he could protest it further, Sharena took his hand and forced him to look at her by gently leading his face with her other hand. “You know you can tell me anything. It’s like how you always told me I could depend on you no matter what. Without fear or judgement or any of that… You still meant what you told me, right?”

“Yes. Of course…” But it was easy enough to confirm such when it came to promising to leave the door open for Sharena to talk to him. With the roles reversed? It wasn’t as easy.

But for that much, Sharena was willing to reach out to him and help him. That one small window was more than enough to at least try to gently squeeze his hand and plead with him with her looks once more.

“Then please, tell me. No matter what’s going on, you know you have my support.”

He didn’t doubt that. He could never bring himself to do such, but it was much more complicated than that. 

But… Even still, he realized maybe she was right to worry as much as she had after all.

So he took her offer. He led his sister by a couch to sit with her, and he opened all he could of what happened when Sharena and Anna weren’t looking. 

First, it started with little things. Obviously, he wouldn’t go into  _ every _ detail of their intimacies, their moods, those details behind closed doors that should probably stay such for good reason… But for what he felt important, he first gently walked her through how he took her previous advice to heart of ‘starting slow’ with Kiran just to see how things would go, and ease himself to more than just hand-holding or shoulder-brushing.

And then he told her the less pleasant details. He told her things he realized, with a heavy heart, how he couldn’t bring himself to tell Kiran directly. How it was Loki who caused him to transform into a rabbit beast and her intent behind it. He told her it was she who subjected him to the illnesses that, supposedly, being an omega taguel would’ve spared him from, and that illness that brought him down and left him bedridden for days was far more than what he could’ve tolerated, had he been human under similar circumstances.

And then came the circumstances themselves. Sharena followed along well enough as far as him explaining the how’s and why’s of her brother suddenly being a were-rabbit of sorts, but it was clumsier and a little trickier to explain how he could bear a child without giving far too much intimate details than she really needed to know. More, he explained to her she would’ve been an aunt, and as for how long it would be, he wasn’t sure yet. 

“Alfonse…” He hesitated, but Sharena kept her word through all of it. She felt worried, she felt concerned, and she reached over to hug her brother, but none of what she said, did or thought was scorn or disgust of him. She didn’t hold it against him for what his body went through up to then. She could see the stress building up, and that’s what led to her holding back just a bit of her excitement at the thought of a niece or nephew amidst an unfortunately vast amount of stress and uncertainty. But she did her best to try to comfort Alfonse when he needed reassurance more than congratulations.

Especially when, even as she tried to ease her brother, and proved she didn’t hold it against him of what went on with his body, the more stressful part of it all was Kiran.

“I’m sure he’ll understand and won’t change his thoughts about you, Alfonse!” She didn’t have to think twice of the thought. “He was really understanding about you transforming as it is, so I’m sure it’ll be fine~! Did you tell him about the baby?”

“...There was an attempt…” A poor one, as he remembered. It was a steady stream of word vomit that he was pretty sure Kiran only remained patient and understanding of more to spare his nerves than because he really understood what was happening to him. His tone alone wasn’t promising enough for Sharena to pry further beyond guessing enough it didn’t go well. “I also didn’t give him much of a choice with this. And he made his feelings clear he wasn’t exactly looking forward to kids.”

“Oh, he… I see…” 

He dreaded the thought. He dreaded ever confessing. Kiran made his thoughts clear, even if he had to be deceitful of how to pry such an answer out in the first place. He didn’t want to try to make strides changing Kiran’s mind, especially when he knew he took that choice away from him well before either of them knew. It would’ve been far easier to make plans for the baby to give Kiran back his freedom from it all, tricky as it may. 

“It’ll be some time before I must step down from active duty, but for now, I’ll remain and do what I can. When I’m farther along, maybe Mother may have some suggestions of what else I can do.”

“Alfonse, what about Kiran?” She hated the idea just as Alfonse had, but unlike him, she wasn’t quite so quick to give up. Then again, a part of her wanted to see what Kiran really thought, even when Alfonse gave up his own hopes.

“I can’t do this to him. The details are still uncertain, but… I’ll come up with something more concrete when the time comes. So he won’t have to feel so forced to be involved.”

It wasn’t what Sharena had in mind in bringing Kiran up, but she hesitated to go against Alfonse’s word, especially when she hadn’t heard from Kiran directly of it. With how much Alfonse stressed even Zacharias out of telling him, she hesitated to go against that plan either, especially for how much Alfonse laid bare to her as it were. In her uncertainties, she sighed and simply rubbed Alfonse’s shoulder to ease him. Small comforts as it was, at least it was comfort nonetheless.

“I’m sorry for keeping you for so long…” With his points made and plans set, he rose up, as had Sharena. When he stood up and wobbled slightly in his imbalance and brief dizziness, Sharena held his shoulder much more firmly to keep him steady, and only released him once he proved himself. “I hate to put this on you but…”

“Oh, don’t worry over it, Alfonse. If you mean Commander Anna, I’ll tell her what I can for you, ok?... Er, the important parts, not the… Y-you know…”

“Thank you…” He confirmed Sharena’s suspicions with how tired and weakened his tone was right then. He knew Anna needed to know - specifically, the parts of the news that would affect his duties - but he lost heart for so much of this as it were. “As for our weekly briefing, I’ll… I just need a few more minutes…”

“I can wait for you~! It’s not  _ that _ big a deal anymore, especially now that things are calmer, right?”

He sighed, but he nodded slightly. She had a good point that things were certainly less dire as of late beyond what eventually became routine. It spoke volumes of how much peace was restored to Askr when the biggest crisis Alfonse had at the moment was his own nonsense between turning into a beast, or not having to make plans for a child. 

And yet, even when he felt like his current woes couldn’t compare to the stress and urgencies of enemies past, he was glad for Sharena’s hopefulness, her kind spirit, and how she still didn’t hold it against him of how easily clouded his mind grew over such small matters like this.

He tried to take his mind off of his grief in favor of his duty. He took up the reports that he prepared for the later briefing, yet again prepared for Kiran not to join in person. But with the current uncertainties still in mind, he felt guilt of being too relieved than he was proud of to have a moment of space from his own boyfriend.

The only thing to give him pause was when something slipped along the pages he bundled together, then fell from within the stack. He didn’t think of the weird shifting within his reports nearly as much as the soft thud when something fell to the ground. 

The two siblings looked down and simultaneously locked eyes on a strange card. It had a looped tab on one of the card’s sides, and upon a closer look, they both immediately saw a picture of Kiran in the center of the card.

He looked younger. He wasn’t dressed in any clothes Alfonse could remember him owning, let alone anything from Askr. He seemed so fresh-faced and bright-eyed, with a smile for whatever the camera tome was used to take it in Kiran’s world.

He seemed so happy… Moreso than he’s been for some time now, at least…

“Oh! It’s Kiran~!” 

With how much Alfonse hesitated upon the sight of Kiran in better days, Sharena took very little effort to beat him to retrieving the card. But rather than keep it to herself, she brought the card closer to her brother for both of them to study it.

“...Huh… I didn’t know Kiran was a king. A king of what?”

“...I… I didn’t know his name was ‘Nate’ either…”

Right at the center of the card, just below the picture, there was “King Nate” written in large font. Even as Sharena’s hand covered whatever was just under the name, the name was too large and prominent to be ignored.

Alfonse’s heart sank at the thoughts that crept up in the back of his mind, and the memories they were deeply rooted to.

So long ago, Anna summoned Kiran into Askr. It was the point he would’ve received his destined legendary weapon, Breidablik, and he would learn to use it to incredible effect. All those years ago, when Alfonse’s heart was still wounded and raw, he held nothing but contempt, and he preemptively distanced himself from him. He was to be an asset to Askr and nothing more, and he had to constantly remind himself with his pain of what would happen if he should ever forget that lesson and think otherwise.

It took so,  _ so _ much more pain than what even he initially felt to learn from that. And worse, it wasn’t just pain to himself, but even more pain he caused to Kiran directly.

But… ‘Kiran’ was also the name of the First Summoner of legend. ‘Kiran’ was just as an important historical figure as King Lif and Empress Thrasir. And just like the Lif and Thrasir they knew and have here, this Kiran, the one he gave his heart, body and soul to, was not  _ that _ Kiran.

But since day 1, Alfonse called him that name anyways. It was his attempt to add even more distance when ‘Summoner’ felt too obviously disrespectful after a while. If he never got to know his actual name, it would make it easier never to get attached. That was his logic back then of it.

And Kiran never questioned it. Not once did he ever raise any fuss or protest no matter how poorly Alfonse treated him in contrast to what he also expected of him. He simply took the name for what it was, as if it were a name he knew himself to be all along, and he never so much as hinted he was anyone other than ‘Kiran’. It made it that much easier for Alfonse to nearly forget after a while that it was a name he forced onto his boyfriend, and he never stopped to ask him otherwise.

And here he was, forcing himself on him no matter how badly he treated him from the start. Forcing him to constantly clean his messes, no matter how terribly he treated him and took advantage of him. And inside him was a child he was now forcing onto him on top of all of it.

Maybe…  _ that’s _ why Kiran never trusted him with his real name after all…

_ “Alfonse.” _

He blinked. It took him a moment to realize Sharena’s tone turned loud and tense from trying and failing to call him earlier. Once he finally snapped out of his daze, and once Sharena was certain she had his attention again, she tried to help him walk through what to do when his thoughts clearly overwhelmed him, whether or not the card was related to such. The immediate thought to come to mind was Alfonse’s phone, and once again, he counted his blessings Kiran would grant him such a treasure.

“Ooh~! You can call upon Kiran?” 

“...What?”

Alfonse did realize the phone was capable of so much more than texting, but as for what it could specifically do, he was admittedly slow to investigate all its powers in full. Sharena wasn’t quite so hesitant, especially once he brought it out and let her look into it while he straightened out his notes for the last time. 

“I wonder if it means we could summon Kiran. Maybe there’s relics like Breidablik in his world, too?”

“But… would such a power really be so commonplace?” As hopeful as Sharena was, Alfonse didn’t think the power to summon people was  _ that _ common to get his hopes up. Then again, he reserved a small hint of doubt when he reminded himself how much the phones seem to carry power not unlike the sending stones of Tellius, and who knew what other powers it held that he neglected otherwise.

“It’s worth a try at least, right? It could be fun~”

“I… sure… Go ahead.”

He already resigned himself to possibly just handing these reports off to Sharena and let her and Anna figure it all out from there. It couldn’t hurt, rght? He was bound to learn eventually anyways, so why not now?

So Sharena tried to pry through the features. Immediately, Kiran’s name popped up that helped simplify a lot of guesswork of what the numbers mean, let alone which of them would’ve led to unlocking the power to call forth Kiran.

They were a bit disappointed in their too-high expectations, but it was a different form of helpfulness from just texts for what it  _ did _ do.

“Hello…?”

Alfonse’s attention perked and they brought the phone closer between each other. There were scrambling both physically and verbally between either siblings and the voice in the phone, but Alfonse recognized right away that it was Kiran. They learned quickly enough how to hear him and speak to him amidst a flurry of confused “Hello?”s, and once things calmed, they realized there was faint noise from distant chatter, to some kind of music neither siblings were familiar with.

“I’m sorry, is this a bad time…?” He was quick to notice how vaguely annoyed Kiran’s tone was, at the start, but also noticed how his tone turned gentler the more he was certain it was Alfonse and Sharena on the other end. No matter how distant Alfonse was when they last saw one another in person, he was still as warm as kind as always, if also sharing slight hints to his woes and stresses at the time.

“No, I’m fine, at least for now.” He was audibly rummaging with something that made Alfonse think they were bottles of some sort. “So, I see the two of you found out how to make calls, huh?”

“Oh, so we did it correctly? Good! We ah…. We hoped it was a bit more than this, like we could call you  _ here _ , but… this is still nice too~”

Ever the optimist. But while a selfish part of Alfonse wanted to have him back to himself, he reminded him even more that not only did he treat Kiran way too poorly to deserve it, but he was giving enough audio cues he was clearly busy with something. The more he listened in, the more he occasionally heard the sound of some kind of liquid being poured and something sliding across a smooth surface.

“Heh, well, guess if you need an ear, I’m here if either of you two need to vent. At least for the next uuh… twenty or so minutes… So what’s up?”

Well, if Kiran didn’t seem to mind…

“You left a card behind. It got lost in my reports, and we just found it.” Alfonse first tried to preface with the more important part. As much as he wanted to jump at asking about his name and kinghood, he tried to hold himself back just a little longer.

At first, Alfonse’s tone was gentle. Maybe it was just a card, maybe it was no big deal, and maybe it was just his nerves making it feel more than it was.

The pause on Kiran’s end of the line was uncomfortably long, even if it was barely much of a moment. He vaguely heard the sound of something patting a soft surface that got louder and a little more frequent. 

“Shit. It’s not my TAM card, is it?”

And as faint as Kiran’s words were, it was still just audible enough to immediately put Alfonse on his guard. He recognized that tone. He was immediately stressed, and it told him enough of the importance of the card no matter how much Kiran tried to downplay it immediately after. 

“Kiran? What’s a TAM card?”

“N-nothing, it’s-*ahem* It’s nothing, Alf… Is there anything else?”

“Kiran, please, if it’s really important, surely we could-”

Don’t worry about it. It’s not that big a deal.”

He could hear the way Kiran sighed so heavily mid-cutoff. It proved to him even more he was lying, but it made the siblings even more anxious, especially when Sharena noticed Alfonse becoming increasingly impatient of Kiran dodging the question.

“Kiran,  _ please, _ if there’s something we could do, tell us! We could-”

And then there was a huge crash all of a sudden. He heard screeching of something rapidly moving around, the sound of some kind of glass breaking, and another voice yelping in surprise.

“Kiran?!” “Are you ok…?!”

There were raised voices on the other end. Something happened, though Kiran didn’t make it any easier to tell if it happened directly to him, or something near him. The faint curse wasn’t faint enough for either Askran siblings to miss, and it made Alfonse’s heart pound just a little harder in his worry something was clearly happening on Kiran’s end despite how calm he seemed.

“Look, I gotta go. Don’t call me again, I’ll call you when I’m free.”

“Kiran wait-”

But it was too late. As the phone beeped, the call was dropped, and the screen of the phone went right back to the same place prior to Sharena calling him.

The silence between them was short, but no less uncomfortable.

“...What… what should we do, Alfonse?” Of the two, it was Sharena who was willing to break the silence first. Alfonse sighed, but despite his uncertainties, he didn’t have to take a moment further to come up with his plan.

“I’m sorry to do this, but please, take these to Anna. I do hope the outlines remain clear enough to carry through with the meeting while I’m away.”

“Y-you’re going to him?!”

“Even if he won’t say it, the card was clearly important. More… I’m worried. Whatever is going on, even if I’m at a disadvantage in his world, I want to help him. I owe him that much.”

“Then I’m going-”

“No. Please, don’t.” His mind was set on leaving, but he was even more set keeping Sharena here. He reached over to pat her shoulder, cutting off mid-offer. “Go to Anna and carry on with the briefing. If there is anything more to come of it, tell me after. I’ll be fine on my own.”

“Alfonse…”

“Please. Trust me.”

There was no changing his mind. He was set on his plan, set on his mission, and she knew anything short of getting Anna to lock him in his room would be a waste of effort and breath. 

But he looked determined. He also came a long way since being the inexperienced prince far back in the Order of Heroes’ early days, and he had the power of his new form to aid him on top of his skills with a sword. 

She tried to give in to his request and give him the benefit of the doubt. Even in a new world, surely, he would carry himself well enough. 

Reluctant as she may be of the plan, she took the reports Alfonse gave her, and she headed out. Alfonse followed her, but only very briefly, and only just long enough to find somewhere private yet secured to use his power in. 

He tried to use the skills he learned, from Lif or otherwise, to make a tiny opening to Kiran’s world. With his bond, and with his will set, he did all he could to hold his bonds and devotions to Kiran steady, just enough so that his power in opening the gate to the world just a bit would be enough to take him as close to Kiran as possible. He felt some level of self-consciousness of the too-late reminders and thoughts of how Kiran would mention time and again how differently the people of his world dressed from the people in Kiran’s. But he hoped that for the short time he had to be out, he could be forgiven for being armored and armed from his lingering duties to the Order of Heroes.

He just hoped Kiran would understand and forgive him for it.

* * *

As his power allowed him into Kiran’s world, he initially swayed where he stood in trying to regain himself upon touching down to this new world, but he blinked when he found himself in some kind of storeroom. 

He sighed and counted his blessings. He was pretty sure nobody caught him yet, and he knew the alternative was being dumped outside somewhere that could’ve dropped him directly in front of an enemy. 

The blessing he was the most grateful for was Kiran’s caution of when and where he decided to leave worlds. He felt this was made easier from remnant energy for when Breidablik helped Kiran travel back here, so he knew Kiran chose this storeroom on purpose.

He opened the door, but only a crack. He could hear voices, but they were distant and faint. He heard someone sobbing softly, but he was fairly certain it wasn’t Kiran, concerned as he still was of the source or cause. When he was sure there was nobody around the hall he could see at least, Alfonse carefully stepped out of hiding. He remained as careful as he could to avoid being spotted, all while creeping his way ever closer to the source of the voices.

“I-I’m sorry, I... I-I should’ve-”

“Shh, shh, it’s ok Sonia. You’re not the one to blame.”

“But Nate-”

“Don’t sweat it. It’s ok.”

“But it’s not…”

Alfonse’s heart was beating just a little harder when he found Kiran.

He dared to peek out from behind a corner, but retreated almost entirely just as quickly as he noticed Kiran. He could see him hugging a girl who was sobbing into his chest. The two stood there for who knew how long, and he simply held her close and rubbed her back and shoulder while letting her cry her frustrations and fears away. Alfonse could clearly see even from where he was that she was trembling heavily, and with their height difference, Nate rested his chin on the top of her head with ease. 

It made Alfonse think of how he would comfort Sharena similarly, but even when the two were clearly safe, and they didn’t notice him, he was left anxious, and debated heavily on whether or not to give himself away.

His first thought that left him shakened were the painfully obvious signs  _ something _ happened. What fueled the anxiety further were the reminders of earlier evidence like what he heard on the phone before, and the signs littering their tavern-like room now from the broken bottles and shattered glasses, to the upturned and scattered chairs and tables.

And then there was Kiran. He might have felt selfish and guilty of having a twinge of jealousy to see how dotting Kiran was to Sonia, despite he himself pushing him away so much, but it was almost instantly drowned out in favor of the painfully obvious blood leaking from the top of Kiran’s head, and how messy one of his shoulders in particular were. 

“Go home for the day, Sonia.” Kiran pulled away from Sonia, but only just enough to stare her down with a warm, gentle look in the face of her still sobbing in her guilt and fears. “We all understand completely, and the boss insisted.”

“But Nate-”

“I’ll handle cleaning up and closing shop. Sit, wait, and try to forget today while your ride’s coming, ok?”

She still hesitated. Even as she looked around, her focus was entirely on the mess left behind, and she barely missed sight of Alfonse as he retreated out of sight even further behind the corner again. Alfonse only peeked out again when he caught Nate hold a hand to Sonia’s chin and partially to her cheek, all to coax her to focus on him again, rather than the mess.

“I mean it. Don’t think about it anymore and just relax, ok?”

He let her face go easily enough, but while she held what little hesitance remained, it didn’t last long. She reached out and hugged him again, still crying, but not quite as heavily as before. Nate didn’t hesitate to hold her and cradle her the whole time.

“...I’m glad to have you around, Nate…”

“Heh. I do what I can. You gonna be ok on the way home?”

“Y-yeah, I already-”

Alfonse cursed under his breath. As he stepped back far enough, there was a crunch as the heel of his boot crushed what he could guess was a piece of glass he couldn’t see. It may not have been the loudest thing he could’ve done normally, but with the uncomfortable silence beyond Kiran and Sonia, he could’ve probably heard a pin drop similarly.

Kiran said something to Sonia and gently patted her, but his voice turned far more hushed as he was clearly walking Alfonse’s way. As much as Alfonse mentally cursed even more, he could hear how quickly Kiran’s voice turned from gentle and soothing much like the tone he came to know, to firm and authoritative like he heard previously against his father.

_ “Hey.” _ Alfonse could clearly hear not only Kiran moving closer, faster, but he didn’t have to even look at him to tell just how angry he was. “If you saw the sign out front, you’d know the bar’s closed. Come back later.”

Alfonse hesitated. He tried to remind himself Kiran wasn’t angry at  _ him, _ but would that still be true if he found out it was him spying on them? He guessed it was far too soon to suspect Sonia’s ‘ride’, and Kiran didn’t think twice of his assumption otherwise.

“The bar’s gonna stay closed whether you keep ignoring me or not!  _ Now leave!” _

As Kiran’s voice gave away he was just on the other side of the wall, Alfonse sighed with a shaky breath and stepped out in the open. Any longer, and he’d only aggravate Kiran more, he knew.

For a split second, he could see just how angered and defensive Kiran was, but the moment Alfonse stepped into view, he saw how it all instantly evaporated in his recognition and surprise.

“Alfonse…?”

“Kiran…”

He could see just behind Nate that Sonia seemed scared and uncertain of him. With the concerned, worried look Kiran gave as he approached him, it briefly confused the prince how Kiran telegraphed his movements more, and how he started treating him so carefully like porcelain all over again. He didn’t realize he gave off a scared, uncertain, almost hurt look to the undercover summoner that painted an unfortunate picture to him of what he thought ran through Alfonse’s mind.

“Are you ok? Why are you here?” He was no less caring of him, but their earlier distance back in Askr wasn’t easily forgotten. Even now, every attempt from holding Alfonse close to pecking him on the cheek were all timid, gentle gestures, and far softer than how they were before. “Did something happen?”

“I should be asking  _ you _ all of that…” He couldn’t hide the way his voice weakened and made Kiran’s thoughts worse. He was more than grateful for Kiran’s fussings, but it was impossible to ignore how bloodied his boyfriend was, especially up close.

“It’s not what it looks like…” Though his tone was already half-hearted in that what Alfonse already saw wasn’t good.

“Please don’t lie, Kiran… You’re a mess.” He gently reached over in touching his cheek, just shy from touching the fresh blood still all along his lover’s head. “Who did this to you?”

“It’s nothing to worry about anymore.” It wasn’t quite lying any more, but the sentiment remained the same.

And yet, before he could protest, Kiran gently took his hand and tried to lead him closer to Sonia. He could see the way she was so visibly crushed, and looked at him with a look he couldn’t decide if it was fear, or guilt. Regardless, it was clear enough that she seemed to blame herself of it, despite the overwhelming evidence he saw that she was another victim.

“Here.” Kiran took a chair and set it upright beside a table. Sonia didn’t need Kiran’s prompt to take a seat on her own before her legs would fail her, but for Alfonse, he eased to the seat Kiran especially made for him, frustrated as he was of the lack of an answer. The entire time, Sonia was careful to hide her curiosity and surprise of what she thought was Alfonse’s heavily detailed cosplay from Alfonse’s line of sight, but the mood made it difficult to fully appreciate the unusually high attention to detail of his ‘costume’, let alone to ask of it. To say nothing of what kind of perfume he wore to smell so distinctly like dessert.

In the meantime, as much as Alfonse wanted nothing more than to pull out a bottle of vulnerary, tear off the cloth of his clothes if he must, and rub Kiran’s face all over with the medicine, he tried to will himself to hold back, just for now. If Kiran himself didn’t take such an initiative, Alfonse hesitated, thinking it was for good reason, as much as he hated it deeply. 

With both seated, Alfonse remained patient while Sonia tried to calm herself more. It was too much to calm down in full or pretend away what happened earlier, but she felt safe with Kiran, just as safe with the man he was clearly close to, and she trusted them enough to wait for her ride home. Despite the mess, his messy appearance, or the lingering tense atmosphere, Kiran  _ tried _ to be hospitable despite the after hours, or his backlog of work to do despite being essentially off the clock.

Without any prompt or request, Kiran already made a drink, not just for Sonia, but for Alfonse as well. The glasses were clear, and Alfonse could see the way both seemed mostly black in color, and his fizzled with tiny bubbles on its surface. He couldn’t readily recognize what it was, but he just barely hid the way his hand drifted to cradle his lower stomach just out of view under the table.

“A-ah, Kiran, I…” He was grateful for Kiran’s hospitality, especially as he intruded as he had, but he felt even more uncomfortable to dismiss such kindness for the sake of their child. Was this the time and place for it? He hated to have to bring it up like this… “I’m sorry, but I really mustn’t, I can’t have-”

“I know, Alf, it’s not alcoholic.” He didn’t even look his way as he said it, and Kiran focused more on grabbing a broom and dust pan.

“But Nate, what about-”

“I put them on my tab.” He was just as quick yet nonchalant to answer Sonia the same way. He focused on sweeping while leaving very little room to protest otherwise.

Alfonse was even more hesitant. Sonia held her head down. Both  _ did _ relent in taking their drinks, perhaps sharing the same idea not to let the drinks and cost go to waste. Kiran kept his word, and while the drink was sweet in a way that differed from most other sweet drinks he had in Askr or otherwise, it wasn’t alcoholic. As anxious (if hopeful) Alfonse was when it clicked to him what Kiran might’ve meant by how ‘he knew’, he hesitated too much to believe it for what it was right away.

And he was also still stubborn to get his previous answers. 

“Kiran, what happened?” His tone was gentle and hesitant more than usual. His normal urgency waned a bit when faced with how clearly uncomfortable Sonia was of the answer, and how quickly Kiran sighed sooner than he responded. 

“Alfonse, why did you come here…?” Yet again, Kiran dodged his attempts to question it all, but this time, Kiran’s tone was also gentler than earlier. He could tell Kiran seemed to want him to show his hand first, rather than dodge the question completely, and Alfonse relented. 

“Your card. Combined with whatever happened, I thought I could give your TAM card back to you while making sure you’re safe.” He took the card out of his convoy, but he was careful in his gestures to hide the entire process from Sonia’s view, making it seem as if he took it out of his pockets instead.

“You lost your TAM card?” Immediately, Sonia’s voice seemed more worried than earlier, already tipping off Alfonse was right to suspect what he had. At least, until Kiran shook his head, gestured for her to calm down, and already made moves to dig his wallet from his actual pockets.

“No, no I didn’t, see?” Quick to diffuse the situation right then and there, Kiran showed the card still in a clear slot in his wallet, in plain sight of both Alfonse and Sonia. He still didn’t understand the significance of it, but while Sonia nodded and backed off fairly quickly, Alfonse hesitated at just how different this card was from the card he came here with in the first place. “I looked in the wrong pocket mid-call, it’s fine.”

The more points he brought up, the more Afonse wondered if he was causing more harm than good. He sipped more of the strange drink more to find any excuse to focus elsewhere… Although he did like the taste as well. Just a bit.

"Thanks for the thought anyways, Alfonse, but… it's fine. Really…" Kiran tried to break the silence besides his sweeping. He could guess enough why Sonia went silent, but for what glimpse he caught of Alfonse looking away, he tried, by his own prompt, to open up a little as he calmed and cleaned some of the clutter. 

He wanted so much to believe in the summoner, but given how many times he was 'fine' despite the obvious, he wasn't buying it. Least of all when the summoner was still a bloodied mess.

"I'm… sorry…"

So before Kiran could clarify more, it was Sonia who tried to explain herself instead. Kiran already bristled at the attempt, yet she still seemed to try to speak out to Alfonse all the same.

"I-I should've handled things better. If I had, then maybe Nate-"

_ "No. Enough. _ That was  _ not _ your fault."

"I-I could've diffused the situation instead of raised a fuss-!"

_ "He grabbed you and tried to throw you into a wall. There was nothing to debate about it." _

"Nate… But he smashed your head against the counter instead because I-"

_ "If it was Ivy here instead, she would've done the exact same thing. Probably worse." _

"Please, both of you calm down."

The two relented despite both remaining visibly tense, albeit for very different reasons. He tried even here to carry the same gentle yet firm tone of authority, and though he was self-conscious to tell an undercover king off, Kiran and Sonia both tried to hold back.

"It isn't your fault." He heard enough to get the idea, and between the clues, and the way Sonia caved in on herself in ways he himself felt before, he was as certain as Kiran was. "It's clear you went through quite the harrowing ordeal, but it isn't fair to blame you for it. I’m relieved the two of you are safe.”

Although with Kiran, Alfonse made extra effort to hide how much he stretched the truth of how ‘fine’ he considered Kiran was.

He could tell Sonia  _ did _ seem to take his words into account, and hopefully Kiran’s now as well, but he could also see just how badly the incident was when even then, she  _ still _ held doubt on herself. If there was any effect Alfonse had, it at least calmed her enough to seem significantly less anxious, but no less deflated and guilt-ridden. They were more certain Kiran was a quick (if thorough) worker in his efforts to tidy up the bar, but the sound of glass crumbs and shards shifting around, or furniture dragging in protest with loud skids, often became the only ambience in the bar. It made it feel like more time passed than it did until the door out front opened, and the foreign sound in contrast to Kiran’s sweeping had immediately put everyone on their guard, up until Kiran and Sonia not only recognized them, but Sonia immediately stood up.

There was another girl. She was much taller than Sonia, and had a more hardened demeanor, much like how Lif or Kiran contrasted Alfonse. Initially, Alfonse tensed and was immediately on his guard, especially when she marched into the bar, clearly on the war path. He only held back when Kiran not only recognized her far sooner than he had for him, but the lady’s demeanor immediately softened when Sonia rushed up to hug her, falling into her open arms and burying her face within her jacket. Even when Sonia’s voice cracked to a point she could barely speak coherently, the way the other woman shushed her gently and softly, compared to the kisses and gentle care, told him enough this was probably Ivy.

He hesitated to get between them and Kiran. He trusted enough from Kiran’s own softened demeanor that confirmed it was definitely Ivy. Between Sonia’s sobs, and Alfonse’s hesitance to focus too much, Ivy and Kiran spoke to one another in gentler, softer tones that he knew enough that they were friends, and trusted enough that Sonia was in good hands leaving with her. 

He couldn’t protest about it, nor did he care to. He was glad Kiran had people he was close to even in his own world, and on that front, he was happy for him.

Yet he remained where he sat, still with Kiran’s lost card in his hands, and still keeping to himself with the drink Kiran served him, all while his boyfriend was almost entirely focused on the two girls. The thoughts were there before he even left Askr. They still remained even when touching down here. Now, the thoughts were brewing again in his silence and distance. 

He knew  _ so little _ about his own boyfriend. 

He didn’t know any of these people. He had no clue what kind of line of work Kiran had outside of Askr’s tactician and summoner, and he cursed how much he took such for granted ever since the two met, let alone up to now. Even for when he thought he could help him, he nearly got him in trouble instead. He knew nothing of his life in this world, nothing of the world in general, and even now he reminded himself that he didn’t even realize Kiran was royalty before, nor stopped to question that either.

He treated him so poorly. He disrespected him even despite their different social statuses. And even now, it made him second guess everything he did more recently to push Kiran away, all on the fear of him rejecting him and their child.

“...Alfonse…”

He blinked up. By then, Kiran was sitting across from him from the table, already looking defeated much like how he looked back in Askr before he left. Glancing around, Ivy and Sonia long since left, leaving just the two of them. 

“...We should get going soon.” He seemed resigned to assuming Alfonse was going right back to the way he was when he left Askr. He could tell from how defeated he looked and how easily he had given up midway of preparing to stand up again, having seemingly sat where he was for quite some time as Alfonse ignored him in favor of his own thoughts. “Tell me when you’re ready.”

“Milord wait…”

He couldn’t keep doing this to him. Without thinking, Alfonse not only snatched Kiran’s hand and stopped him in place, but the confusion of Alfonse lapsing into the same formalities and respect he paid so many other lords before him made him take pause. Was it in a good way? A bad one? Did he maybe realize that Alfonse gave him so little respect up to then and noticed him putting his best foot forward now? Or did Kiran take it as a sign of them going even more backwards after getting close enough to make love just before Loki’s attack?

Kiran’s confusion was strong, but it made the answer to what else was on his mind that much harder to tell.

“...Uuuh…”

“Kiran- ah… Lord Nate, rather… I’m so sorry…”

“...For what exactly…?” Kiran didn’t resent him, but for as confused as he was, and enough so to show it on his face, Alfonse worried more he was digging himself a deeper hole. “Are you ok? Where’s all this stuff coming from?”

“I’m sorry for everything, all of it… I treated you terribly and all this time you didn’t so much as raise any fuss… As prince, I should’ve been more respectful than that, right from the start…”

“...Was this about what you saw going on with me and Sonia earlier?”

“I mean this is something I’ve owed to you from the beginning…” 

“Alfonse…” 

Alfonse shook his head, dismissing Kiran’s attempt to ask when, for all of his fussing and stubbornness to keep Kiran from leaving the table, Alfonse proved himself the hypocrite. It was distracting enough for Kiran to hold his tongue to ask how tired (or wired) the prince was, but not enough to answer any of his questions, least of all when Alfonse was kneeled by his side while holding his hand like it was made of porcelain.

“Had I known you were a king, I should’ve given you far more respect than I had. But even without that knowledge, I should’ve asked, at the very least. There was no excuse…”

“....Uuuuh…. What?” He didn’t quite pull away, but he was left utterly baffled otherwise.

“Your lordship.” Although the gears were turning for Alfonse as well for how Kiran seemed genuine in his confusion of it all, it left Alfonse even more confused. This seemed a bit  _ too _ genuine to be merely an act, especially when nobody else was at the bar with them to hide themselves from. “Your card I brought you pointed it out.”

And suddenly, it all fell into place.

It took a moment for Kiran to process it, between a slow blink and his thoughts running slower than usual, but when it clicked, it clicked hard.

“...Oh…. Oh! Uh, no, it’s not like that.” Alfonse was adorable when he was thinking so literally, but right then, it was hard to stop and appreciate it when he kept in mind how much he stressed him out the entire time he got here. 

With Alfonse’s confusion growing, Kiran sighed and gestured for him to stand. When he went back on his feet, Kiran also stood up likewise.

“King is my  _ surname _ , rather… Hate to disappoint you, but I’m not royalty in the slightest.” But it was still cute for Alfonse to make such a fuss of it, if it weren’t soured by heavy amounts of guilt.

Worse so when he could see how much Alfonse shifted from guilt of mistreating what he thought was a king, to being so stressed out that he didn’t stop to consider the most obvious conclusion otherwise. 

“But it’s sweet of you to come all the way here.” He couldn’t allow it. He cupped Alfonse’s cheek and gently guided him to look his way before Alfonse’s focus could come up with more ways to hate himself. “I’m just sorry you had to walk into my messes, as usual.”

“That’s hardly fair when you cleaned up so much of my own…” Ouch. He walked right into that. But, at least he got a soft huff out of Alfonse that was almost vaguely a laugh, and he figured he hadn’t  _ quite _ screwed up as badly as he could’ve.

“Then let’s call it even~” He tried to be a bit playful of it, and while he disagreed heavily, it’s been a while since he heard Kiran take such a playful tone again. He couldn’t protest fast enough to dismiss him like he usually would’ve, and it was just enough for Kiran to move closer. 

Be it to nuzzle him, or try to kiss him otherwise, Alfonse stopped him in his tracks in raising a finger just near Kiran’s face, but not close enough to touch him. He immediately froze at Alfonse’s prompt.

“Hm, not quite.” Kiran would’ve deflated again, were it not for Alfonse trying to pick up his mood through his voice just a bit more. “For starters, there is still a matter of your head and face. Is there a wash basin here?”

Oh. Right. He was still a bloody mess. 

“...In the back.”

Maybe his shirt was beyond salvaging until they got back to Askr, but for now, he relented to giving Alfonse a bit more peace of mind. Of course, he  _ did _ realize he was falling into terrible habits again when what should’ve been the higher priority of treating his own wounds simply didn’t click to him up until then, but Alfonse wasn’t about to let him get away from it. And while he swiped the glasses to take to their other sinks along the way, he led Alfonse to a washroom, and he gave in to being washed off with water, soap and vulnerary for however long it took to look less alarming.

For someone dragged from a different world, when it came to Kiran’s health, he was quick as always to adapt.

“Kiran, you shouldn’t have ignored it for so long.” He gently admonished him while fussing once more to be sure. The more presentable Kiran looked again, the more talkative Alfonse was again, now that he didn’t have to worry as much. He was thankfully healed in such a way that the only sign he was ever hurt at all was the unfortunate state of his shirt.

“Couldn’t exactly help it, Alf…” He was honest, but lighthearted in his tone. Alfonse clearly saw his reasons why, and it added to why he didn’t push him further on the subject.

“Promise me you’ll take better care of yourself, will you? I-... all of us would be worried sick if you came back home like that…”

But for all the progress they made, there was clearly unfinished business. 

Kiran didn't miss the signs. Alfonse seemed hopeful and relaxed as he spoke with some ease and confidence again, but just as quickly, he second-guessed his own words and deflated as he changed his answer. Just like he kept doing in Askr again.

“...We really need to get going, Alf. I gotta close up and lock down everything after getting the dishes clean.”

“Ah, right, then I’ll go wait for you back in Ask-”

“Actually, I was gonna ask if you wanted to walk around with me in town instead. Just long enough to grab food on the way back I mean.”

Even now, Kiran wasn't sure the full cause, but this time, he wasn’t quite so quick to let this go as easily. Not entirely. As much as Alfonse was surprised, and even brightened at the offer, he just as quickly hesitated. It was like it was too good to be true, or that he was being just a bit too selfish.

“It can help me a lot with not having to carry so much food back home.” Kiran pushed the offer just a little more, teasing as his tone was of it.

“You bring all your food home through your convoy anyways…” But while Alfonse could see through his half-baked words, he also read enough between the lines what Kiran was getting at.

“It  _ could _ still be less lonely.” He didn’t quite give it up just yet, and to be fair, Alfonse was losing heart of pushing him away too much, especially given his feelings from before.

Then again where his earlier feelings were his fears of Kiran’s rejection, now it was more of the worry of getting in the way. And as clumsy as Kiran was, it was hard to argue in favor of his bitter thoughts that Kiran wanted to send him away.

“If you’re sure…” It wasn’t quite the most confident tone of voice, but his words were clear enough. He felt Kiran wrap an arm around him, particularly over his shoulders. With his free hand, the bloodied cloth used to clean him was hastily discarded in his convoy, but he was otherwise focused on welcoming Alfonse closer to him. Compared to last time, now he wasn’t as opposed of it.

“I insist.” He hesitated still to try to nuzzle or kiss him, but his smile grew stronger, and he focused more on leading the way out of the washroom than trying to test Alfonse’s boundaries again. “Maybe the timing was iffy this time around, but I’m glad to end the shift with both of you.”

“Hm…” His own smile grew a little. Just a little. But he hesitated at Kiran’s choice of words. “Both of us? You mean Sonia?”

“Sonia’s in Ivy’s hands, they’re plenty fine without me now.” He kept his pace even with Alfonse, and he took his sweet time making his way toward the bar counter, nevermind the sinks and glasses. “I meant you and the baby.”

...Surely he misheard. 

“I’m sorry for being as slow as usual of it, but that’s why you’ve been so wound up lately, isn’t it?” 

Alfonse wasn’t exactly proving him wrong, least of all when Kiran caught him clearly showing signs he was put on the spot, between how quickly he looked away, or how quickly his hand drifted to his lower stomach again.

“...Guessing that’s a ‘yes’, huh.”

“What about what you said before?” He tested the subject again. His body language told Kiran enough this either was a strong cause of his earlier distance and hesitance, but for as welcoming as Alfonse forced him to be up until then, it changed very little of why all this was such a huge problem.

“I wasn’t lying about my feelings before.” He conceded as much, and once again, Alfonse felt it just confirmed his fears after all, worse so with how casually Kiran shrugged his shoulders and delivered such stinging words so lightly. 

Yet, Alfonse heard him out as he continued and learned why, just before he could feel worse.

“But even if I was uncertain before, if you’ll have me, I want to help you.”

“I don’t want you to just put up with me, or them…”

“Think of it more like I was on the fence earlier.” Kiran was so ridiculously patient with him. He still didn’t understand why… “It wasn’t quite a hard no, I just don’t feel confident of being the best role model. But if you’re ok with taking in some dumb bartender without any sense of direction for himself, I wanna do more than just compromise, Alf.”

And granted, he was plenty shocked in the moment, much as he bit his tongue that morning he freaked Alfonse out in waking up, but by then, he already came to terms of the whole idea. It was just a matter of proving it to Alfonse likewise.

He still clearly had doubts well to the point Kiran parted ways from him to wash up the last of the glasses.

At least he was thinking it over, and for that much, he took what little victories he could with his boyfriend, but his focus was clearly split between the dishes and Alfonse. He could see the way the prince seemed to look between the glasses, or to different parts of the room, but it wasn’t out of curiosity. Little did he know, Alfonse seemed to have more deeply-rooted doubts than he might’ve led on. 

Was that why he couldn’t bring it up to him earlier? He finished up and moved closer to lead Alfonse back, but the hesitant look seemed to strengthen as they went back through the bar on the way out. He was slow to react when Kiran took his coat and draped it over Alfonse, finding more importance in obscuring his ‘cosplay’ from onlookers than the suspicious, darkened spot of his already dark clothes. 

“...This isn’t just about the baby, I guess?”

“It’s part of it…” And had Kiran asked earlier, Alfonse would’ve declared it the biggest worry. Now? He reflected enough to realize there were far too many problems that he pushed off for far too long now.

“Then let’s clear the air now.” The door was locked, and they were out. It was one less thing to worry about now, but it paled in comparison to the other, bigger concern. “I owe you that much.”

“I owe  _ you _ so much more…” But at least he shifted closer beside Kiran and eased when the summoner held him close by as the two walked off in unison. 

“Alfonse, if this is about how we met, I’m  _ fine. _ I’m well past the point I forgive you and got over it. _ ”  _ He couldn’t quite be patient enough to let Alfonse’s guilt eat him alive over his frosty first impressions, especially when he himself had long since moved past it. Perhaps Alfonse was starting to finally let it sink in of Kiran’s point, but the prince still shook his head of not quite letting it go completely.

“I know so little about you, Kiran… You’re the one I want to spend my life with. You’re precious to me in ways I still don’t know if I’ve done enough to show or tell you.”

“It’s sweet of you, Alfonse, and I feel the same for you, but-” It wasn’t something to stress so heavily over, least of all to the degrees he’s seen in Alfonse lately. Yet, before he could make that point clear, Alfonse stopped him, speaking so earnestly and anxiously.

“But I know  _ nothing _ about you. I took even your name for granted for so long. You knew so much of me that I feel there’s things I shared with you that Sharena may never know, a-and yet… I didn’t even know your name until just recently… Nothing of your line of work, nothing of your world or your life here, not a thing of it…”

Ah… So  _ this _ was the meat of the issue.

Were it anyone else, maybe Kiran  _ would _ take more issue of it. Then again, even this was debatable. Until Askr forced him to be just a little more open of who he was and why he mattered, it was easy to lose sight or sense in his own world. Another cog in a machine, another face among the masses, what could possibly make Kiran more or less important than the people they were passing by as they spoke?

So in finding so little self worth in himself, and in being so jaded as to no longer care anymore, he couldn’t  _ entirely _ fault Alfonse for building up this persona for him the moment he first came to Askr. It just made it easier to separate himself between the legendary summoner, Kiran, and the random nobody bartender, Nate King.

He just didn’t anticipate Alfonse putting so much worry and fuss over it all. Especially when he himself hadn’t cared even a fraction as much.

“... And yet, you would still do so many favors I still feel I’ve yet to do enough to repay. You still gave me more thought than I deserve… All of that, and you helped me find more worth in myself than I could find on my own. And… even after all that, you were truly ok with wanting to raise a child with me? Despite your feelings?”

“...As lame as it’s gonna sound, you’re overthinking it. Hard.”

“You keep calling it that, but-”

“And yet, you keep doing it.” Now it was  _ his _ turn to cut in and be firm. He still held Alfonse just a bit closer, and he rubbed his shoulder to try to ease him while he was hushed. “I’m glad you’ve been putting so much thought of my feelings, but… I think you’re way overblown of how much issue I’m taking with all this. Or how much of a deal it is for me in general.”

“Any other royal would’ve-”

“And like I said before, I’m not royalty.” He wasn’t going to give him an inch this time, especially not while he was still trapped in this self-loathing spiral. “I’m not a hero. I’m not Bruno, and I’m not that hero friend who ditched you before either.”

He was frustrated, but at a loss of words. And with how riled up Kiran’s voice was starting to turn, was he making it worse?

“...Even so, you’re the one who still gave enough of a shit to notice me. That’s more than enough for me.”

As much as he had a… way with words… was that really enough?

Kiran fell silent. He could tell he wasn’t fuming, but just giving him some space to think it over. To be fair, he wasn’t wrong, and Alfonse was indeed trying to think it over.

But for his point, he also hesitated to protest, much as he wanted to. He resonated with that point because, as Kiran called upon more varieties of heroes, and their immense strength simply magnified how lacking Alfonse himself was, he had that identical worry as well.

And, arguably… Kiran was the one who gave a shit to notice him, too. And that was the point he had a change of heart for him.

“...I love you, Kiran. Or… Nate, rather…” He meant it. He meant it with all his heart. Yet his delivery of such words were so hesitant, soft, and almost saddened. 

“I love you too, Alfonse...” Kiran was a bit more certain, but in the face of Alfonse’s doubts, his own resolve seemed saddened in tone. “But, don’t worry about it anymore, will you? Call me whatever you feel comfortable with.”

He didn’t protest it. He tried to make a better effort to lighten up, and for the first time since coming here, he leaned up and kissed Kiran with a gentle peck of the cheek, finally easing Kiran into returning and initiating much of the same. They were still slow, still shy, and there were still uncertainties and vague tension between the two, but it reminded Kiran of the same nervous tension Alfonse had back when he was easing to be this affectionate out in public in the first place back at the Spring Festival. Or arguably, the same tension and nervousness from when they first made love.

But he also didn’t completely forget why he was here at all, even if he relaxed more in taking in just how different Kiran’s world was from his own. The way the shops were far different from the marketplaces of Askr may have distracted him briefly, but he subtly took the card out once more, and he caught Kiran’s attention long enough to hand it to him.

This time, he accepted it. This time, he took it back. But he couldn’t help but notice the brief moment Kiran had a dulled look in his eyes upon getting a better look of the card. 

He hesitated, but looked to the card as Kiran had. Compared to how Sharena held the card and blocked chunks of it beyond Kiran’s picture and name, Kiran held the card mostly from pinching its edges with his fingers, and letting the back of it rest in his palm. What should’ve been so obvious much earlier was embarrassingly clear now how the card stated that ‘King, Nate’ was a ‘School of Medicine Student’, albeit the title was in much smaller font compared to the name, and lower down on the card from the photo that drew the most focus.

“I’m sorry for all the trouble and confusion. But it looked really important.” The memory of Kiran’s hastiness to clear the air with Sonia was still fresh on his mind, but as quickly as Kiran snapped back into attention, he smiled, shook his head, and simply pocketed the card in a wallet he took out.

“It used to be.” He relented that much at least. “But it’s something in the past.”

“Is it something painful…? Ah, my apologies…”

“It’s fine.” He didn’t exactly confirm or deny it was painful, but nevertheless, it was out of sight, and quickly out of mind. “That fast food place I get your food from is just up ahead. When we go in, pick a free spot and sit while I make orders, alright?”

“...Sure.” With how quickly he tried to shift the subject, Alfonse hesitated to press on it, especially when Kiran  _ mostly _ seemed to be in high spirits. 

He remained close to him until they stepped in. It wasn’t busy, and Alfonse easily found a table and chair to keep his distance while saving a place for Kiran as he stood in line. His curiosity perked of the familiar scents from the food he was all too accustomed to nowadays, and it was easier to put the card out of mind completely as Kiran planned while letting the summoner be.

Orders were made, cash was exchanged (as curious as Alfonse was of why Kiran paid with more than just coins), and the two barely sat together that long to hold much of any deep conversation beyond the weather or Sharena’s own worries before Kiran gathered tons of food and picked a place in the alleyway out of sight to hide all but a pair of small bags of it, one of which went to Alfonse to eat right away.

This was fine. It was more than fine even. With Alfonse’s mind gradually put at ease, or at the very least starting to, he took more of his time in the walk toward the train station toward his usual spot he would return to Askr through. In the meantime, he made a date out of just sightseeing, especially when, technically, Alfonse finally got a chance to make good of his word of one day wanting to go to Kiran’s world to see what it was like together. It wasn’t much, but it was just enough to ease more of Alfonse’s tensions and stress, and it brewed more ideas of a better plan for a better date later on. 

All of it led up to his final destination as he kept Alfonse close to him in the train and kept watching him like a hawk against anyone who might get too handsy or too harsh on him otherwise. It was a constant worry to leave a good impression of his world to Alfonse that wasn’t otherwise marred by the bar fight, but he succeeded when he led Alfonse to his house, exposing how barebones, near-empty, and glaringly small it was to how massive their dormitory in Askr was, let alone just their bedroom alone in it.

“So… If I were to go to your world through this, then I’d be in your old home? So  _ that’s _ what you do to come back to us…”

“Better be safe than sorry.” Again, he shrugged. It’s not like he could predict how Breidablik reacts in opening small gates between worlds, and this instance was a happy accident as it is.

“Of course, of course. You’re very thoughtful.” And between the tiny gate in the bar’s storage room, and the one directly in Kiran’s home, he was glad the summoner planned ahead. But, as Kiran and Alfonse drew the gate’s power enough to expose it, then open it, the two held each other’s hands as they prepared to step through.

It was better this way. Alfonse didn’t need to know he made far more compromises for the sake of him and Askr long before there was a child to worry and fuss over. His life went in dramatically different directions than he hoped, but Kiran was more than grateful it led him to Alfonse.

That’s all that mattered most.

* * *

Whatever those two did while gone, Sharena saw they seemed to have made amends with one another. She still had her worries about the card, but not nearly as much anxieties behind it like Alfonse had, and her concerns were more on her brother, her friend, and how well their relationship was going.

She immediately felt hopeful when she saw the two return to Askr, both holding each other’s hands and looking like they were in better spirits, despite the small spike of worry at the blood on Kiran’s shoulder right before both seemed to fall over themselves to nip her fears in the bud in proving both of them were fine. They tried to explain bits and pieces of what happened to her and Anna, but she got more details from Alfonse in private than the two of them together, and heard just enough that she was right in her feelings Kiran still loved and supported him, baby and all.

She was even happier when things seemed to go back to normal again. There were the initial shy moments, and of course, both were completely hands-off when they (Alfonse moreso) tried to focus on their duties at hand. But once they eased back into each other again, they kissed, they hugged, they were caught a few times either at least wrapped in each other’s arms or snuggling together at most, and she felt she could breathe so much easier in not having to worry for the sake of Alfonse’s fragile heart and nerves anymore.

That wasn’t to say, however, that Alfonse’s nerves were entirely spared from finding some other reason to panic. He hated it, but it was his curse to bear, and by extension, Kiran’s as well to witness at least if not share as well.

When they returned, and when they had a moment to themselves behind closed doors, he tried to give Kiran an out one last time. He wasn’t sure what he’d do had Kiran actually taken that out and ran away from him and their child while he had his last chance, but before his anxieties could fill in the blanks for him, Kiran was firm in dismissing that offer, and he sealed his ‘contract’ (that Alfonse still had mixed feelings of such a term for this no matter it being in jest) in the form of exposing Alfonse’s bump and kissing it.

“Kiran, please think this carefully-”

“No.”

“But-”

“No more thinking about it. The more you think about it, the more you’re just stressing yourself out of it.”

“Kiran…” 

“It’s final. I mean it. A done deal. No more worrying or fussing of this, ok?” 

When the kiss to his stomach wasn’t enough, he had just as firm and certain a kiss for his lips next. He meant it, and nothing between the doubts Loki instilled in him or his anxieties painting horrid pictures otherwise could shake that. 

But damned if either didn’t try.

It was easy to be so firm and determined when he wasn’t even that far along yet. If he didn’t lift his shirt to Kiran, the bump he already had was easy to hide, moreso under the layer of clothes and armor he would normally wear while on duty too. Even he relented to Kiran’s suggestion of putting it out of sight, out of mind, and just trusting Kiran’s words and affections, especially when the two didn’t fuss over the baby outside of in private.

What he didn’t anticipate was how far along he’d grow in what hardly felt like much time at all.

It started small. In private, while getting dressed, he’d start growing flustered when his shirt wouldn’t smooth out properly anymore, and the bump was obvious behind closed doors, even if he still had skills to hide it under his formal shirt and under his feather-patterned chainmail. He no longer had to lift his shirt to show Kiran that their child was very much real, much like how Kiran didn’t take much to show likewise that yes, he was very much still going to be there for the both of them.

Then the layers grew tighter and restrictive, and the chainmail no longer smoothed out. 

It was fine. With some adjustments, he loosened the chain mail to be less restrictive and helped ease into his figure. Despite such a stiff look when completely smoothed down, it was far more flexible to the shape of his body than it would initially seem, which was unfortunately emphasized when he grew far along enough that now there was a noticeable curve as his belly stuck out enough for the chainmail feathers to emphasize. Even when he  _ tried _ to keep up his usual appearances and attitudes while on duty, and many heroes either avoided the subject altogether, or made a noticeable effort not to stare below his chest, it was to a point Sharena picked her moments when work was finished and meetings were over to remind him that it was impossible to hide that he was pregnant anymore.

“Heehee, Look at you~ Look at them even~! Have you told Zacharias yet? I’m sure he’d be happy for you, too~”

“Ahaa… ah… not quite yet, but soon…” Mentally, he bit his tongue. He still owed him a favor for keeping it a secret when he had. He knew Sharena was excited, and as she meant well, he tried not to put much thought into it. At first, he just wanted to focus on Kiran and making plans for the road ahead. So far, the plans that already went into motion were the plans that helped him lay low and limited where he worked and on what. If he could bring home work to his dormitory, he usually opted to do just that, particularly ever since his visit to the infirmary.

By the time the Bridal Festival was on everyone’s minds, he was far along enough to guess he was roughly 6 months along.

He was also keenly aware that he was  _ supposed _ to be only a little over 2 months along.

His anxieties had a field day.

The first thing his anxieties attacked his mind with was the baby. Was he getting farther along than planned because he was a taguel? He didn’t exactly have a point of reference to find out for sure, especially when Yarne came from a different timeline than Panne, even when the two shared the same world. That said, he didn’t know whether to expect a rabbit pup or not either. How was he supposed to know how taguels operate? No doubt, it would be highly inappropriate to ask.

Was Loki specifically doing this and making their child grow at a quickened rate? He couldn’t exactly rule out the possibility either, but he wondered why then did Loki decide to only  _ slightly _ quicken his pregnancy instead of make him collapse and give birth as soon as Kiran had him. Surely, if the aim was to freak them out and cause him the most pain possible, this would be too slow and boring even for her.

As he buried himself deep inside his burrow, not quite ready to mentally face the day despite putting up an act on Kiran as he left earlier, Alfonse held either sides of his head while stuck with the reminder of his problems as it just barely kept contained under his undershirt right then. He was so stressed of the thoughts that, in spite of outwardly keeping himself calm otherwise, he had long since sprouted rabbit ears, he felt uncomfortable pressure on his tail, and his feet turned to paws again as he kept his legs bent and pressed against his belly where he sat.

What if Loki planned this another way? Not to force Alfonse to struggle and suffer in the harshest and quickest way possible, but to try to set him up to rouse Kiran’s suspicions instead? If she anticipated that Alfonse would overthink this (and by the Gods did he overthink this…), it could use Alfonse’s intense pressure of the prince hoping Kiran would accept their child against him. How does it make him look when he was having a baby that was far along in ways that didn’t line up with when they made love? Suspicious, no doubt. And he would have little in the way to prove otherwise. He forgot that, given Kiran was together with someone who could transform into a were-rabbit, and in a world where magic was everything, this setup was easier to cheese than Alfonse gave it credit for, and a healer would’ve likely confirmed Kiran was the father..

But what about Kiran? It was easy enough to accept the baby when Alfonse hardly looked much different, but now it was that much harder to ignore, and he found himself running out of time far sooner than he anticipated of what he could do and by how much before he had to pull out. He would be even less useful to the Order of Heroes than what he was already doing well before he got pregnant, and especially up to now after. 

Was this normal? Was  _ he _ normal? He was so big already and yet he couldn’t feel anything inside of him. Wasn’t that the thing mothers tell the health of their babies through? So if they  _ didn’t _ move, did he already screw up? What if he was already messing up in other ways? What if this was just some cruel and twisted prank and  _ that’s _ what Loki was setting him up for? What if

“Alfonse~! Are you awake? I got food if you’re up for it!”

He didn’t have to step out of his burrow to smell it the moment Kiran walked through the door. His hunger urged him to go out and show himself, but his anxieties urged him just as strongly to stay out of Kiran’s sight and mind like the failure that he was. 

The end result was Alfonse remaining petrified in place, frustrated with himself, but otherwise with an expression Kiran still couldn’t read well after he peeked into the burrow and saw him.

“Hey… You alright? You look a bit shaken, did something happen?” He wasn’t sure if this was a time to worry or a time to arm himself and  _ then _ worry, but regardless, he wasn’t about to take his chances with Alfonse’s nerves on the line.

“Y-yes?  _ *Ahem* Yes!  _ Yes. I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be, right? There’s not a thing worth worrying about.”

There wasn’t a single believable thing about what Alfonse said or the way he said it. The random partial transformation already tipped him off he was lying. His nervous, hasty delivery of his words had practically damned him in an effort to try to pretend away his feelings. His choice of words at the end also did very little favors. 

Rather stubbornly, Kiran moved closer, and Alfonse quickly found himself pulled in and held by his lover. He was stubborn, he was patient, and as much as Alfonse was a bundle of nerves who didn’t show much of any sign changing back yet, he felt heavily soothed even for this much.

“You can tell me when you’re ready.” There wasn’t a shadow of doubt he  _ did _ have something weighing on his mind, and he had since learned not to give Alfonse an out to wiggle out of, but at the same time still gave him time to figure out for himself when he wanted to share it. 

Right then wasn’t quite that time. He could barely sort his own thoughts out from his paranoia. His nerves were frayed, he felt hungry and tired, and in taking in Kiran’s warmth, he realized he was heavily touch-starved on top of that all of a sudden.

...Maybe he  _ did _ realize after all what he wanted. He wanted reassurance. He wanted Kiran’s comforts. He nuzzled him and hummed softly before he could help himself, and that told Kiran enough.

“Eat first, and then we can both go out and get some fresh air together, ok?” He kissed him, he nuzzled him, and he held him for however long it took for Alfonse to pull away first. It was a routine between them that came up much more often lately, whether or not it was prompted, but Kiran took extra care not to make it painfully obvious he was going through the motions.

“Are you sure you want to be seen with me…? Especially when I’m like this…?”

This was definitely one of those times where it was doubly prompted.

“Hey now, what brought this up?” The kisses and nuzzling were stronger and more earnest, but no matter what Kiran did, there was no answer. Not beyond the hesitant, timid look, or Alfonse’s internal disgust with himself, or what his thoughts left him with after tearing his confidence to shreds in his anxieties.

But he didn’t need to answer. Kiran didn’t force it. Instead, he noticed the way he seemed highly affectionate whenever Kiran showered him in love. Even when he left his questions without much of any answer, he was fine with that, and focused more on him instead. Between his belly, or his rabbit features, he wasn’t sure what Alfonse was getting at most, but he didn’t take any chances as he pulled him to rest the back of his head against his chest and lay down in front of him. 

“I love you.” He cradled him close, and while he could see Alfonse hesitate as he studied his arm, he nuzzled his cheek against Kiran’s chest and rubbed his fingers along the arm that held him. He still hesitated on his thoughts.

“And I love this, just as much as I love  _ this.” _

He could feel Kiran reach his free hand over to the side of his face, and he focused on where Kiran’s hand went. It started off pinching his sideburns, specifically the point where the darkened blue tones began to transition to a very pale blonde. And as he continued his point, his fingers trailed away from his hair, to along the soft, velvety rabbit ear that he took great care of handling. 

“Or this.” 

Then his hand moved, but this time, Alfonse watched his movements from releasing his ear, to rubbing all along his arm until he captured one of his hands. He handled his hand delicately. He embraced everything from the feel of his then-clammy skin, to the way his nails - which would normally be shorter than this - transformed into claw-like nails right then. They were the same claws he still never forgot he carved up Kiran’s back with, even if he also knew Kiran had long since forgiven him for it. 

And yet, he still treasured even the same claws that hurt him so long ago...

“Or  _ this.” _

Kiran didn’t release his hand. This time, he took his hand into his as he moved it to the last thing he wanted to focus on. He only released it as he was settling his hand over his belly, then set his own hand just below it in gently cradling it, and him.

His nerves got the better of him, and he hastily moved his hand over Kiran’s, still pressing against his belly, but partially lacing his fingers with Kiran’s of where he settled his fingers.

“Ah. So  _ that’s _ what you’re worried about most then.” If he couldn’t get a direct answer, he found his way to manage otherwise. He simply hugged Alfonse just a little tighter, but kept his hand where Alfonse locked it. “My point is, there isn’t a single damn thing I don’t love about you. So… will you trust me with that much?”

At first, Alfonse wanted to protest, but his words still failed him.

Thinking about it, yes, he was right. In some ways, this was him not trusting that Kiran’s love for him was as it was. It wasn’t out of distrust of Kiran himself, but of his own insecurities, and all the same, it brought them to this.

He sighed, but he snuggled against Kiran in trying to relax more. Already, he felt a lot of his tension melt, and he took that too as his answer, just enough to shift around and kiss him.

“I love you so much, Kiran…”

He didn’t deserve him, but he was grateful beyond words for him.

He finally got through to him. He felt guilt for just how many times Alfonse proved to be his own worst enemy, but he was grateful just how many times Kiran didn’t think twice to reach out and catch him as he fell every time. He gave himself completely to the summoner, and when things no longer seemed so cold, bleak and terrifying, it was enough for Kiran for Alfonse to regain himself enough to sit up and eat with him, even if he still couldn’t bring himself to tell Kiran what led him to the mood he found him in to begin with.

He somehow got him from feeling terrified and disgusted with himself and wanting to hide away, to dressing up formally once more and with little focus on his body. He reverted back to his fully human form, and both of them held each other’s hands as Kiran led him outdoors to spend time beside the flower gardens.

“Did you imagine something like this in the future?” 

Just overhead, Bruno loomed over the balcony. It was just enough to see Alfonse down below with Kiran, but not enough to draw attention to himself and the fact he was there. It was better that way. He could tell enough from their body language that Alfonse was in good hands for just how careful Kiran was in handling and fussing over him, but tender in the manner the two spent time with one another.

“Not exactly…” 

He could hear footsteps, but didn’t so much as flinch of them, let alone look behind him. He knew it was his own lover’s footsteps as he joined him in overlooking the two lovebirds down below. He met his lover up with a kiss before both settled to watch Kiran and Alfonse.

“Quite the turn of events, isn’t it?” He shook his head in the face Alfonse’s stubbornness, but even when things didn’t work out between them, he couldn’t quite complain of what direction his own life went now. “Had it been you, would you have told me sooner, or would you have been just as stubborn?”

“I’m not sure whether to take that as a threat or not.” His lover was teasing, if faintly so. “I do not envy him enough to go out of my way to find out.”

And besides, he was thankful enough for his own life, much less any thought of adding more lives into this world after. In honesty, Bruno was fine with this, but felt he could also tease his lover just a little.

“Hmhm~ Merely curious, Lif.”


End file.
